Serious Scandal: Spoilers 5-22-09

I've got a gang of spoilers. I love my soap people who keep me all kinds of informed. Here's what I've got:

Y&R:

Mary Jane and Mr. Mumbles will get in a tiff, which will be snapped a la a photo by Jill. Ashley will catch Adam in the act of being Sabrina, but the dumb bitch will fall down the stairs in shock and get knocked the hell out. No. Not another amnesia story. That's what you are saying to yourself right now isn't it? Nick and Sharon will have sex, prompting Phyllis to finally give his flippin ass the boot! Then my favorite red headed she devil is going to get some strange from Jack. Can I just say that this is what I need in my life? Mr. FBI is actually a nobody and the real Mr. FBI will show up and be clueless as to the goings on in Daniel's wierd little world. Chloe will find out that Billy and Sharon did the horizontal wedding march without her on her special day. I can only imagine that Sharon better run and hide. Adam has not forgotten about Jack and will be seeking revenge in the near future. However, he will get away with his sh*t for a while because of the whole 'Hey, I'm blind but I am looking right at you" thing. Hopefully the new Adam will play a better blind guy. Katherine and Jill have more skeletons in the closet...obviously this involves Phillips I-IV and Cane. Say it isn't so...Tyra and her weave may be having a baby. If this is true, I am already convinced it is Satan's spawn. Corbin Bernson will reprise his role as Todd, Paul's brother. Not only does this double confirm that Mary Jane is Patty, but Bernson is Jeanne Cooper's real son!

AMC:

Kendall will turn to Zach. Yawn. Liza will accuse others of the murder to take the heat off of herself. Her scheming will be discovered however. Amanda will recieve some baby related warning. Someone else will be arrested for Stuart's murder. Krystal will finally snap. Adam will get sicker. Where the hell is this hot love triange between J.R., Scott and Marissa the Mudsucker? This killer storyline is already over in my opinion. Or at least someone needs to let me know when it is.

OLTL:

I forgot to mention this in my recap blog yesterday and I seriously need to get it off my chest. Crystal Hunt's thighs are the most disgusting slabs of wasted space I have ever seen on daytime t.v. Yes, even more disgusting than Marcy's. Yes. I said it. Anyway...Bo will find out about the Blintz engagement. Schyler will tell Gigi about his suspicions about Stacy the Skank. Gigi and Schyler will team up to take down Stacy prompting Gigi to hope to get back together with Rex. Tess will question Bess. Um. How does that work exactly? Tea and Blair make a pact to keep their secrets. McPain and Skankbrook will not be able to fight their attraction. Bess will go looking for Nash's parents. Brody will go looking for her. Brody will find her. Starr and Cole are obviously going to find out about the baby. Viki will beg Bess to come home on television. Tea will move in with Todd to "heal". Is that what they are calling it these days? Marrko's parents will hit up Llanview.

GH:

I hear Jason isn't a very good shot and that Alcazar is coming back. That's a rumor I would definitely like to see come true. Michael will bond with Claudia while continuing to hate on Carly. Nu-old Emily and Not-so-Fake Aussie are in cahoots and may have been lovers once. Jason is going to chase Cry-baby Claudia into traffic and she will get hit by a car. She will lose the baby, pay the doctor, yada, yada, yada....you know the rest. Dante may return sooner than I thought...obviously, not soon enough...

B&B:

Bill will continue to secure his alliance with Stephanie. Stephanie will blackmail Eric in order to keep Bill from getting his hands on Forrester and Skeletor. Katie learns that the Saggy Sailor and Boo Hoo Bridget are already back together. Nick will offer Owen a large sum of money to leave the Crypt Keeper, I mean Jackie, alone. Stephanie will ask Ridge to help her take down Eric and the Logan Minxes. Taylor and Ridge will mesh collagen injections once again. Yawn. Once again.

Peace out. I am going to bed. You know the drill....