I cannot stress enough the level of hatred I am continuously feeling for Clementine Ford as Mac on Y&R. You can slap a weave and an ugly dress on her but the obvious still remains the same. She can't act. There is no chemistry between her and anyone else on the show. Why do famous actors and actress's children assume that they can act? Oh well. Jill was let out of the closet by Lauren, who instantly regretted helping the drunk old bat out. Jill blasted through the wedding, spitting her venom in everyone's direction. She came this close to having another senior citizen smackdown with Katherine, but Jill's embarrassed son's came to remove her to save her from herself. Jill said some good stuff but here are the two most amusing tidbits:
1. She looked at Esther and said "Shut up you simpering idiot."
2. She told Cane, a la a three year old, "I don't wanna nap!"
Honorable Mention goes to Nina for this: "Yeah, I stuffed her in the closet."
Skeletor Mac and Cane spoke briefly at the wedding. When Billy saw them, he waited for Skeletor to walk way before he ripped into Cane for "stealing" everything he has. Cane then replied "Not everything is about you." Oh really Cane? Billy and Skeletor Mac both had coinciding sappy ass dreams about marrying each other. This was followed by dancing, reminiscing, kissing, bitch slapping, and Chloe. I was in complete shock when instead of slapping Billy on the other side of his face, she kissed the spot that Skeletor smacked and said "Come home with me." I am sorry people. That leads me to go back to rooting for Chloe. Skeletor was chatting up the younger crowd and brought up the fact that Daniel had a crush on her ugly ass once. This made Amber mad because suddenly Daniel was acting like a babbling monkey. Amber walked over to Chloe and they had a mini-bitch fest about how men seem to react to Skeletor. Victor gave a speech at the wedding that was based on true love, yada yada yada. The camera, however, zoomed in on Nikki at the end. Another set up. This led to Victor asking Nikki to dance. While they were dancing, he gave her some half assed apology. Later Nikki caught the bouquet. Paul looked like someone gave him a shiny new coin. Victor looked like he wanted to kill Paul. Nikki looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock. Victor then found Neil who explained that he would be working as active CEO of Chancellor Industries. Victor's reaction leads me to one conclusion: He is a bitch. He got angry, stating that Neil should have asked him first. Excuse me? Then Victor wasn't through with his tirade and he went and told Katherine that she should have asked him first. When she replied that she could give Neil what Victor couldn't, he replied that it's all about "loyalty". Sorry Moustache. You wouldn't know loyalty if it skipped up and kicked you in the balls. Paul recognized Mary Jane today but he couldn't quite figure out why. Yet. Mary Jane feigned a headache and went to her room. This was a ploy to get away from Paul and to lure Jack to her room. Jack fell prey to her and decided to take her a piece of "wedding pie". Mary Jane had little interest in pie, and she seduced Jack. Blah. At the end of today's eppy, Jill went to the GCAC to continue her drinking spree. While there, she slipped the waiter her room key and asked him when he got off. He replied in an hour. Um. Good for you Jill! Anything is better than Jeffery...
On B&B today, Stephanie filled Taylor in on the typo making Mega Slut Barbie and Bizarro Ken's wedding invalid. This makes number six for Mega Slut Barbie, who just can't seem to get it right. I will admit I used to enjoy watching these two in scenes together; however, I can't stand to watch them kiss, sex, or touch one another now. Stephanie continued to urge Botox Betty (Taylor) to go after Bizarro Ken since he isn't married. Mega Slut Barbie apologized to Steffy for Rick's f-ed up behavior. I have the feeling that she didn't mean any of it but that this is her way of keeping Bizarro Ken. Owen and Jackie were making out something fierce today when the secretary came in to tell Jackie that the guests for the meeting were there. Jackie's damn hair was a hot mess. If Owen really cared about her, he would not have let her walk around with that frizz-fro on top of her head. The meeting got underway and Jackie announced that she was promoting Owen to Chief of Staff. In fact she looked Owen dead in his eyes and said, and I quote: "Owen is good. Very good." Followed by this: "He handles a lot of things well." Can I get him to come over to my house? I got plenty of things he can handle. Mega Slut Brooke finally gave Raunchy Rick the business. I bet that felt good even though she'll never admit it.
Cole continues to trip out on OLTL. His scenes actually have a sort of creepy factor. Starr finally confides in Todd who threw his car keys and told her to go help Cole but to make sure to fill up the tank before she brings it back. What an ass. After Starr left, Todd turned around to see Blair looking homicidal. She looked like sh*t. quite frankly. Blair became weak and Todd had to help her out. Then they argued for the rest of the show. Meanwhile, McPain and Skankbrook came this close to having sex. When ever she opens her mouth, I am filled with rage. While she says she respects McPain's marriage, she then lays in bed with him and grabs his hand and puts his arm around her. She truly is annoying. Over at Gigi's crib, Rex and the Tear Queen brought Shane home. They were trying to make small talk with him and Shane told them to "cut the crap" to which the Tear Queen tried to scold him. Then he told Rex to get out. Rex continued to prove his stupidity as he let Stacy the Knobslobber con him into letting her stay with him. If he says "you saved Shane's life" one more time, I am going to slice my ears off and feed them to the dog just in case I am tempted to have them sewn back on. I noticed that Rex and Stacy were drinking beer today. More proof of idiocy. He must have forgot about that whole skanky stripper move she pulled the last time they drank together. Or, like any other man in his position, he wanted her to seduce him. Brody and Jessica hung out in the bushes discussing their future together through half of the episode until Viki caught them. I want to give Mark Lawson props for acting like he can act in today's eppy. After the new lovebirds told Viki whats up, Natalie and her shadow, Jared, came out of nowhere. Natalie proceeded to yell at Brody in a way that only Natalie could. I love Melissa Archer but my god! Calm the hell down!
I literally cried a couple of tears for Spinelli today. The fake stalker told Spin all about Maxie's ridiculous scheme. At the same time, Johnny and Maxie were discussing how attracted they are to each other. Maxie told Johnny that as much as she wanted to do him, she really loved Spin. Maxie couldn't just let Johnny go, as in true skank form she said this: "Ask me again tomorrow and my answer could change." Um. Okay. Olivia stood up to Sonny as he tried to convince her to tell him where Carly is. I like her. Claudia entered and got super jealous and catty as usual. I am getting tired of her bitching through every episode. Olivia made me laugh when Sonny told her that he didn't want Carly to die. She said "Do you want a gold star for your forehead?" Lucky and Liz kissed and made up today. This is a good thing. Rebecca went over to Nikolas's dungeon and shamefully expressed her admiration for Nikolas. Then they made out and I realized something. Nikolas can't kiss. Period end of story.
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I am out...until tomorrow's debacles...same bitch time...same bitch channel...
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