One Hell of an Acid Trip and French Condoms 5-12-09

Y&R started yesterday with Adam stabbing himself in the eye with the hypo full of botox. The doctor proceeded to begin his examination, and Adam told him that the Doctor would know all his secrets once he shined the light in his eyes. However, the clueless doctor informed Victor that Adam's condition was worsening. Later, Rafe came by and Adam was frantically looking for the box containing the botox hypo. Downstairs, Hagatha the Housekeeper was telling Ashley that getting rid of her wouldn't stop what ever crazy sh*t was going on in Ashley's head. I wonder who stole the hypo from the botox box? Ashley, Victor, or someone else? Chloe and Lily continued their verbal catfight with Lily pointing out that Chloe is the only one that is in a "soulless marriage". Cane slammed Chloe later, pointing out that marriage is her choice weapon of destruction. Wonder Dad Billy stopped sniffing up Mac's you-know-what long enough to go get Delia from an ailing nanny. At the art show, Daniel was stunned at the amount of the check that he received from the FBI Agent/Art Buyer. When it suddenly occurred to him just how successful the show had actually been, he scooped Jana up, bestowing her with compliments. For a hot second, I thought they were going to kiss. I happen to know that if you were dreaming of a Jana/Daniel/Amber/Kevin sex-a-thon, you can keep dreaming. The PTB are happy with our favorite foursome. Thank god for small favors. I do hear that others will be involved in their relationships; however, nothing earth shattering will come of it.
Amber and Kevin were over at Katherine's getting the verbal bitch slap from Jill and the Governor. Jill and Katherine went off to another room to argue and Kevin and Amber were banished to the outside, waiting for news of their fate. Murphy and the Governor stayed behind, reminiscing about their time in Vietnam, respectfully. Murphy whipped out some old school war heat and presented it the Governor as a gift. I forgot to mention that Jill took the Governor away for a "private" converation and when they returned, Jill was reapplying her lip gloss and the Governor's idiot ass was grinning the good grin. Regardless of what happened behind closed doors, the Governor granted Kevin and Amber clemency and the duo met up with Daniel and Jana and they had a big "hooray for us" party. Jill's face crashed when the Governor made his decision and she said: "You're doing what!?" Kevin asked Amber if she knew that Jill was a bitch. Um. News flash Kev! We ALL know that.

SPOILERS:

Word has it that Melody Thomas Scott is going to be put on recurring status because the show cannot afford to pay her ass anymore. I'm thinking this is not the best idea. Rafe will confront Victor on his treatment of Hagatha the Housekeeper and Adam the Botox Baby. Sharon will move back into the Abbott mansion, prompting Jack to tell Mary Jane that whatever they started is already over. Mary Jane will act nonchalant, but inside she will be seething and therefore, plotting and scheming. I say bring on the crazy! Sharon moving in with Jack is going to make Phyllis suspicious and she will ask Sharon what the hell is really going on. Nina is going to turn Katherine's memoirs into a movie. I, for one, cannot wait for the sh*t to hit the fan when Jill finds out. My predicition, although vague, will come true. The FBI Agent will ask Daniel to help him nap some art thieves. This storyline better be worth it or I am going to be pissed the hell off. It was only a couple of years ago when we forced to deal with the Brad is George debale and all the art b.s. that followed. Colleen will spill Newman secrets to Jack. Ashley will befriend Adam. Oh snap! Prediction Time! Adam and Ashley will have an affair and Victor will catch them in the act, causing Victor to blow up the whole damn town. OK. Maybe it's not going to go down exactly like that, but you get my drift. Billy will continue to be obsessed over Mac. I can't wait until she gives in and he gets what he wants. I predict he will go running back to Chloe once the conquest is over. Nick will "be there" for Sharon. AGAIN. I am sure that the Red Headed She Devil will be just pleased as punch. Daniel will attempt to keep his snitchin a secret from Amber. Um. Good luck with that.

On B&B yesterday, Rick was kissing Steffy's ass and she was being a bitch to him when he decided to tell her he was taking a vow of celibacy. He was lying of course. Rick was just trying to get in her pants again. Taylor opened her big collagen filled lips and spilled the invalid marriage beans. Bizarro Ken and Mega Slut Barbie decided the best thing to do right then and there was to go have hot, steamy, angry sex in his office. I must admit this actually made me uncomfortable. I have been watching these two go at it almost all my life and I felt like I needed to leave my own living room. Look for Don Diamont to break bad on today's eppy!

SPOILERS:

Stephanie publishes a webcast entitled "The Logan Chronicles". This will most definately prove to be filled with slandering verbal bitch slaps for all Logans in the immediate vicinity. Rick will put on some b.s. tribute to Phoebe which will score him more booty points with Steffy. Then Rick will give Steffy some sort of gift that will cause Ridge to freak the hell out. Looks like this sh*t isn't going away anytime soon. Bill and Donna will meet and sparks will fly. Whip is definately returning!

I only caught half of yesterday's eppy of AMC, but here's what I saw:

David was bitching and arguing with anyone and everyone that was standing by him and Zach, (who shall now be called Fabio until he gets a damn haircut), came running in telling him to get his ass to the hospital and save Ian. Ryan showed up, looking yummy I might add, and Fabio yelled at him too. Annie was on a mission and although I knew she was going to restrain Aidan in some way, I had no idea that she was going to knock his australian ass down the stairs. She then tied him to a pole and said: "I love you, but I gotta go." He tried to convince her to untie him, but she left his ass there. Krystal's hair looked really cute while she sat and talked to Babe's grave. Forgive me people, but does that sh*t really happen? Regardless, Marissa overheard and wanted to know what the big secret was. The heart valve inventor committed suicide and more of Adam's foes began to gather at the mansion.

On OLTL yesterday, Bo told Nora that he wanted to kiss her the day that Marcie caught them in the parking lot. Nora and Bo decided to just remain friends and as they embraced, Clint walked in and started to behave like my four year old, or worse. I have some new squish names for this trio: Bora and Blintz, for obvious reasons. Langston and Starr were hanging out in the foyer again when Langston loudly announced that she and Marrko were going to go all the way. Dorian overheard and after a shouting match, conceded to what she could not stop and slipped Lang some jimmy hats from France, complete with fancy carrying case. Marrko was at the drug store having many conversations regarding rubbers, condoms, breath mints, and galoshes with the church lady and Cole. Powell and Rebecca, the creepy crazies, are in there own little world and Jack can see through the b.s. he told Starr he loved her over the phone which prompted Starr to figure out that something bad must be going on over at Todd's.

SPOILERS:

Natalie will assure Kyle that he will get his $100,000 to keep his damn mouth shut. After Stacy busts out of the cake at Jared's bachelor party, she will give Rex a private dance and Gigi will get super pissed. I bet you $5 she won't do a damn thing about it so who gives a sh*t? Cole and Starr will go to the prom together. Lola will drop some acid at the prom festivities. Here's hoping for some half assed camera effects.

On GH yesterday, Michael started crashing and everyone else started freaking out, understandably. Tracy was freaking out somewhere else over Lulu and Ethan's obvious attraction for one another. Maxie and Spinelli continue to search for Kate, um, I mean the Crimson traitor. Jason was on the rooftop clearing his head when Sam, the magically appearing whore, suddenly appeared on the rooftop as well. Jason cried on Sam's shoulder about Michael and then we were treated to what we have all been waiting for. Oh. No. That didn't happen. What did happen? Not a g*d damn thing! 5 minutes of my life-GONE.

SPOILERS:

Claudia will lose her baby and spill the beans about everyone's involvement in the cover up. To me this translates into: Sonny is about to be one angry mutha and everyone in Port Charles better run and hide. Fast. Molly will be aged and recast and rumor has it that she will have an inappropriate relationship with Ric before he leaves for B&B and greener pastures. Johnny and Olivia are going to start doing the shag nasty in our very immediate future. This whole build up for Luke and Ethan has all been for nothing. They are not father and son. The Mayor will hire Spam to spy on his wife because he believes that old-Lily is cheating on him.

OMG Finally! I am done. Til whenever peeps, I got finals this week. Some bitch time...some bitch channel....