Mr. Mumbles 5-7-09

Once again I have already blogged about today's eppy of Y&R and once again I failed to mention some key points. Nick stopped over at Victor's to accept his job offer. As he passed Adam in the living room, we were privy to this little convo:

Adam: "Oh Nick. You're just in time. I was just going upstairs."
Nick: "Oh? Don't let me stop you."

Adam is up to NO good as it is perfectly clear to me that he can see. He called Heather over for a blind bangin booty call and somehow conned her into helping him get his sentence reduced. I know I shouldn't, but I wish that when this whole storyline comes to fruition, Adam gives Heather's bitch ass the boot. Victor informed Adam that the specialist would be there to see him tomorrow and Adam quickly scrambled to tell Victor that he doesn't need a specialist. Tune in tomorrow when he jams a hypo full of botox in his eye. Should be just about priceless. Jeffery and Gloria are broke. Billy called Gloria a moron. My personal favorite? Jack's new nickname for Victor: Mr. Mumbles.

I must admit that I spent the majority of today's eppy of B&B on the telephone playing Ms. Chatty Chatterson, however, I was able to catch Taylor's 1982 eyeshadow from 20 miles away as it blended perfectly with her botox injection sites. Marcus and Steffy kissed and made up. Enjoy it while it lasts dude. I am enjoying the strange but satisfying alliance that is being formed between Thorne and Pam. I was watching a big group of yelling Forresters and Logans who were all talking about Thomas as if he was not in the room when suddenly my mind went here:

Rick was yelling at Thomas when I suddenly envisioned his eyebrows coming to life. One eyebrow, we shall call him Fuzzy, raised up and high fived the other eyebrow, who we shall call Furry. Fuzzy then jumped from Thomas's forehead and proceeded to bitch slap Rick in the balls, after which, Furry yelled out "That's what you get, Bitch!"

Alas. This is not what I saw when I came back to reality. What I did notice, however, is that Thomas borrowed Ben Stiller's hair gel from Something About Mary and applied it ONLY to the left side of his hair.

On OLTL today, Todd and Tea were about to get it on when who should enter but Jack and a horrified Blair. Jack ran his little mouth for a hot second and was told to go away soon after. Blair started arguing with Tea, asking her when she was going to stop going after men that don't want her. Tea responded with an evil laugh, prompting Blair to look at Todd and say: "Please tell me you are not sleeping with THAT." After Blair blew out of there, Tea pointed out that if Todd is sleeping with Blair, then Tea herself was sleeping with Blair. This was followed by her then pointing out that if Blair is sleeping with John, then Todd is also sleeping with Todd. The point? Who the hell knows. Cut to the only lab in Llanview where Kyle was busy blackmailing Jared and Natalie and Natalie was busy blaming Starr for the world's problems. BREAKING NEWS: Melissa Archer was involved in an altercation with a wave of humidity. The wave won. Thank you Kyle for looking and good and having a modicum of common sense. He not only stuck up for Starr, but he also pointed out that Jessica was a baby stealing whore. Rex was still kissing Stacy from yesterday's eppy when he broke it off and once again, after making eye contact with Stacy's face, looked as if he might just throw up. Too bad he had a serious case of Assholitis today as he let his tween son disrespect the mother of his child. I fully support Rex's disease because I would be an asshole too if my baby's mama wouldn't shut the hell up with her damn tearless crying fits. Gigi proved that she truly is the dumbest bitch on daytime t.v. when she told Rex "We can't let Shane run the show." Where was that mindset yesterday when she was chasing him down the street begging him not to leave. Shane accidentally dropped Stacy's hairdryer in the toilet and Stacy had a mini-meltdown. The look on her face started a chain reaction in my brain which leads me to this: I think Stacy will work with the pimp to get rid of Shane and Gigi for good. Of course, her plan will backfire. Marty remembered she had a kid and placed a call to Cole. John got trapped with the dead doctor at the loony bin. At the end of the eppy Blair rejoined Todd and noticing that Tea was still lurking made this statement: "I thought you said you were going to take the trash out." God love her.

YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS SPOILER ALERT: Props to Jillian at Daytime Confidential for sharing these with me.

Cane and Lily will get married but not without some secrets and scandals coming out of Cane's past biting him in the ass. Devon is getting ready to discover that he isn't who he, or we, thought he was. Jana will suspect Daniel is up to something. Thank god because here lately he's been up to a whole lot of nothing. Jill loses all her money when she teams up with Jeffery and Gloria to take down whoever. She calls Victor for help who tells her he was responsible for her losing her damn money in the first place. Jill and Jack team up to take down Victor. Here's hoping they swap denture cream old school style. Nikki accepts Pauls proposal; however, both Nikki and Victor will question her true motives.

I'm done. Peace out. Til tomorrow...same bitch time....same bitch channel....