Several Servings of OMG coming right up! 3-30-09

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to learn of some upcoming drama and scandals on my favorite shows. They are as follows:

AMC: Jake and Amanda are teaming up to conspire against David. This makes me happy because I think she is best with Jake anyway. Zach and Ryan are going to have some stupid poker game. The prize? Either the casino or some old lady's ashes. Um, gross. Kendall thinks about moving in with Ryan, but in swoops Super Asshole, Zach, who threatens to take the kids away from her if she does. Erica then tries to convince Ryan to leave Kendall hanging. Sure, that's going to work. Stealing a page right of OLTL's current handbook, Ian is going to be fatally ill which will bring Zach and Kendall closer together. She's already mad at Ryan for jackin' all of Zach's assets in a sheisty way. Krystal and David are scheduled to get into some kind of fist fight. Krystal is corn fed, hope she wins. Adam gets sick, but really who gives a hoot? Apparently Erica who said she loves him like ice cream. More like a brain freeze... So Liza is coming back in the form of Jamie Lunar who played the idiot hoe bag on Just the 10 of Us from like 1989. Maybe a red headed Liza is just what we need in Pine Valley. I hear that some guy is coming to the show named Adam Mayfield who is rumored to be Cameron Mathison's doppleganger. Hope is acting is a tad on the, um, better side.

B&B: Rick takes the Thomas opportunity to blackmail Ridge. That's cool with me. Ridge gets more annoying as he gets older. Rick is going to propose to Steffy. Please God, make it stop. Stephanie is going to take relationship advice from her arch nemesis, Nick at the ripe old age of 145 years old. No one cares about that, I guarantee it. Eric fires Stephanie from Forrester. That should be interesting. Jackie is going to seduce Owen. What a shock. A sick disgusting shock. Owen is so hot, is there no other game in town?

GH: Ric and Claudia got it on, yada yada yada. Claudia drugs Ric and then calls Johnny. Johnny and Maxie team up with Claudia to dispose of Ric properly. This causes more friction between the original blonde bitch and Johnny. Johnny decides to kill Ric but Claudia stops him and then, in an effort to smooth things over with Sonny, half ass confesses all to him. Sonny will take her side, of course. Claudia then decides that getting knocked up is the smart thing to do. I smell another 'who's your daddy" storyline after her sexin session with Ric. Speaking of, does he ever not have a drink in his hand? Claudia was buttoning up her pants and he was still in bed taking swigs. I could practicly see the drink dribbling onto his chest. Michael is popular as Jax goes into his room and confesses all. Does anyone know that the boy is in a coma? He can't freakin hear you! Jerry Jacks is coming back. Yay since Sebastian Bach is so yummy, so yummy! The original blonde bitch is going to catch fake-aussie Ethan stealing from Crimson. What a waste of what could be someone elses screen time. Nicholas and old-but-nu Emily are going to share a smootch. Anybody else feel like puking? Maxie is going to lie to Spinelli about Johnny. Sounds like Spinelli is going to seriously need some hands on comforting when the truth comes out. I'll have to check my calander, but I am pretty sure I will be available...

OLTL: Supercop Talia is going to get offed soon. Makes sense now that Antonio is gone. Of course, I don't care. I never like her anyway. Is Stacy sleeping with Kyle, the lab guy? Most likely. Gigi is going to sleep with Brody and break up with Rex. Too bad for Stacy. I get the feeling that he will always find her disgusting. Guess if she keeps drugging him, that could change...Jessica is probobly going to turn into a new personality: Ness. As in lochness monster when she loses her baby and Brody all at the same time. Sucks to be her. The Pussycat Dolls are going to be on soon. Remind me to miss that eppy! Real Andrews is coming as well, to play a cop. I am pretty sure that is all he knows how to do....

Y&R: The biggest news is that Jess Walton walked out of contract negotiations because she refuses to take a pay cut. I don't blame her. She has been on that show since 924 b.c.! I don't see how they can pull off a recast, but I am sure that they will give it a good try. Nina is coming back permanently. That is good news. I love it when they bring back old schoolers. I ponder who she will make trouble for....The long awaited re-arrival of Mac will screw up Chloe's happy family scenario. I just hope that a Mac and Billy reunion doesn't change the way Billy is played. Y&R has already screwed up Cane, I couldn't take it if they screwed up Billy too. Katherine will be diagnosed with Lyme Disease. I don't know what that is, but I am pretty sure she isn't going to die from it. Chloe demands a big wedding at the Chancellor mansion. This pisses Billy off because that's where he married Mac, who he actually wanted to marry. He eventually relents and the wedding is on! Before the wedding, Cane tries to trade the CEO position for custody of Delia with Billy. Billy kicks Cane out of the house. Hope that comes with a couple of swift punches to the gut...At the wedding, Chloe and Jill get into a pissing match over trivial things. The bitchfest continues as Jill and Katherine get into what promises to be the greatest catfight of all times. This irks Billy who leaves and goes to (surprise, surprise) a bar where he just happens to run into Sharon. I think we know what happens next. Nick is going to leave Phyllis. I am not sure why yet, but it is going to be good! Krazy Kevin and Accomplice Amber are going to get busted by the police. This is both good and bad for obvious reasons. Good thing Amber has taken precautions to save herself from prosecution. Kevin on the other hand, is S-C-R-E-W-E-D. Karen figures out Neils diabolical plan for Tyra. I haven't even seen Neil since Devon went off on him. So what the hell is the plan? Last but not least....Terrible Tom is going to appear to Kevin as an apparition. As if the storyline wasn't creepy enough already....

Sounds like enough goodies to keep me watchin! Until next blog, same bitch time, same bitch channel...