The Low Down on B&B 6-13-09

I know I talk a lot of smack about B&B, but truly I am a fan or I would not sit on my ass everyday to watch it. Having said that, I like it when Bizarro Ken (Ridge) and Mega Slut (Brooke) break up, so these days I am definitely tuning in!

When we last left off, Saggy Sailor (Nick) was too busy banging The Rug (Bridget) to go to his own business meeting, so CCUM (Owen) stepped in for him. Saggy Sailor showed up just in time to catch CCUM making out with the Crypt Keeper (Jackie). Saggy Sailor went off and the Crypt Keeper acted non-chalantly about the whole damn debacle. The Saggy Sailor ran off to sulk somewhere and CCUM dropped down to one knee and proposed to the Crypt Keeper! Damn!

Bizarro Ken broke up with Mega Slut, who was none too pleased. Mega Slut blah blah blahed about their not so real marriage. Bizarro acted distraught but it was pretty obvious by Ronn Moss's bad acting that he had already made up his mind. Bizzaro ran off to be with Dr. Lips (Taylor). Mega Slut curled up in the fetal position and cried. Boo hoo bitch! Moments later Big Dumb and Stupid (Rick) showed up, busting a John Travolta I might add, and tried to console his mother, but to no avail.

Battle Ax (Stephanie) called Dr. Lips and they blah blah blahed over Ridge's "condition". After they got off the phone, Bizarro showed up and Dr. Lips continuously left the room while Bizarro coninuously stole pills out of her purse. Then he continued to eat the pills like candy. Do I blame him? Afraid not friends!

SPOILERS:

Stephanie is going to figure out that Ridge has a pill poppin problem. Go figure. She figures everything else out. Nick obviously is going to be pissed about his mother's engagement. Nick and Bridget will get engaged themselves. Yawn. 1 Strike. 2 Strikes. 3 Strikes....you know the rest. Nick will try to give Jackie an ultimatum, him or Owen. Good luck with that Saggy! Brooke will try to ply Ridge with sex. That is such a shocker! Stephanie will thwart Brooke's lame ass attempt at seduction.

Other News:

For those of you who haven't heard, Drew Tyler Bell has signed a three year contract. This prompts me to ask this question: Will the family of squirrels living in his eyebrows be signing contracts as well?

I did not know this, but apparently, Windsor Harmon is a grandpa now. Damn that man looks good for being somebody's pee-paw!


C & S, this one is for you guys. WARNING: Bouncing quarters off of tight asses can be harmful to your health!