Split Personalities all Around! 4-3-09

Here's one for you...one for you...I have to start with AMC today because craziness abounds. A while back, my girl J and I were discussing Annie's stay at the funny farm and her many visitors when J said that she thought Annie's wierd friend was a figment of her personality. So true J! After whining to her "friend" for the whole episode about killing someone (we know, she didn't do it) Annie was so excited when Aidan came in because she wanted to introduce him to her friend. She pointed to the chair and Aidan turned his head. Cut to the chair, it was empty! Just when I thought AMC was incapable of being creepy...Ryan's desperation to fill his Greenlea void is starting to make me ill. Erica went over there to talk some sense into him, but he failed to listen and said he would fight for Kendall. Thank you Erica for being the only person in the world that sees that everything is wrong with them being together right now! Meanwhile, at the hospital, Zach and Kendall were bonding over Ian when they decided to walk around for some damn reason. I had 2 issues with this scene: 1. They were holding hands. 2. They were both wearing purple. Coincidence? I think not. Speaking of Kendall and issues...Why does she always have to be so overdramatic and saying things that NO ONE would actually say? I need to know. Flashbacks of Zach with short hair are always welcome. Keep 'em comin! David stole Little A (sshole) yesterday, and today, Krystal used her trailer park wits to get him out of it. At least she was thinking sanely for a change. Petey and Colby- Maxie and Spinelli called, they want their storyline back. Rumor has it that Ryan and Kendall are going to break up. Sob. Amanda's hormones will cause her to reject Jake. Idiot. Zach and Kendall are going to take Ian home together. Bummer.

Yesterday on OLTL, Brody gave Stacy the business and sent her running scared. Today, Stacy was busy convincing Schyler that she has no feelings for Rex. Yesterday, Gigi cried to Rex through the whole episode. Today, she cried to Viki through the whole episode. Just when I was beginning to think that Gigi was even more annoying than Marty, there the bitch was, crying about John's marriage to Blair. Hey Marty, why don't you pull another incredible hulk? Only this time, just drop the car on top of yourself. Cole was feeling sorry for himself again today and in walked Marty to join the pity party. Of course, she turned it into a "let's make it all about Marty" session. Snore. Over at Blair's house, John was pretending to be the caring stepfather to Starr when he was really fishing for info on Schyler. Thanks for that. Speaking of Schyler, I find it hard to believe that he is the voice of reason in Llanview, but since no one else likes Stacy, I guess he will have to do. After Stacy left to go lurk somewhere, Starr popped by in her training bra to offer of up some prepubescent loving. Schyler rejected her and sent her crying to her mother. Random mentions: 1. Gigi's dress looked like something I wore to church when I was 10. That would explain why Gigi has not discovered the strapless bra. 2. Kyle the lab tech can fill my test tube anytime he wants! Word has it that he will succumb to the evil wishes of both Roxy and Stacy. Yay. Thanks to Ray, Dorian isn't feeling David anymore thanks to his new hemmorhoid commercial. Blair is going to tell Marty to back off of McPain. Schyler is going to be accused of seducing Starr. Yuck. Gigi is going to confess all to Jessica. Stacy is almost going to spill all to Rex. Rex is going to eavesdrop on Jessica and Gigi. Sounds like the cat is jumping out of the bag! Todd and Tea are going to do ease some sexual tension, causing her to stay in Llanview. Oh boy. Cole is going to confide in Todd. Wierd. Starr will be kidnapped and someone else will shanked in the back.

On Y&R today, the Billy and Chloe nups finally came to fruition. After Billy woke up next to a hungover Sharon, he rushed home to shower and get ready when he was attacked by his loving brother and sister. Did I say loving? I meant annoying. Ashley ripped Billy a new one and tried to convince him not to marry Chloe. Suddenly, she pulled one of Sharon's hairs off of his jacket. Awkward! Before the wedding, Esther was walking around with her giant bow kissing everyones
asses. Katherine received the DNA results confirming that she is Brock's mommy. At first she was filled with empathy for Jill, even offering to be her mommy regardless. But after Jill continued to spit venom around the room, and after calling Katherine and Nikki "dried up old lushes", Katherine screamed "Forgive me Chloe!" and handfed Jill some wedding cake all over her face. Jill then grabbed some cake and returned the favor. I was laughing my ass off when Katherine then picked up a whole layer of cake and threw at Jill. Priceless. Sharon shows up to be the maid of honor and I had to wonder what anyone was thinking when they put the giant fake flowers in her hair. My wondering stopped at soon as I saw Chloe's 1920 style flapper dress and matching headband. Okay then. I laughed some more when Sharon up and left in the middle of the ceremony. Cut to Jack sniffing the floor behind her apologizing for her everymove. Sharon had every reason to be upset though. Before the ceremony, Phyllis showed up at her room spewing insults at Sharon. Props to Phyllis for using one of my favorite terms: "accidentally on purpose". Props to Sharon for having that bitch thrown out by security. Conveniently, as she was being kicked to the curb by the rent a cop, Phyllis came face to face with Nick. When he discovered her dastardly deeds, he quickly went to Sharon's rescue. Bye Bye Bye. Back at the wedding, Chloe prepared a sweet poem for her vows that included the words "punch you in the face". As she was saying them, I thought Billy might throw up. He then spit out some shit that he didn't mean and kissed her like she was his grandmother. Realizing how that must of looked, he planted a better kiss right as Mackenzie walked in. Oh, I didn't see that coming. The best line of the whole wedding was when the minister asked Billy if had any special vows and Billy, in a panic, asked "Cant you just feed me the words?"

Cliffhanger Friday has cliffhanger killed me. Until next time, same bitch time, same bitch channel...