I am always pondering why soap guys lack knowledge in child custody laws. Everyone wants to get married without the love. On Y&R today, Billy had a heart to heart with his annoying cousin Colleen in which he told her that he and Chloe will be sharing an open marriage. Colleen then took it upon herself to go over to Chloe's and tell her that Billy will never love her. After Chloe slammed the door in her face, Colleen remained on the porch yelling into the door. Hey Colleen, Nickelodeon called, they want their overdramatized bad actress back. Sharon busted Jack in another moustache related lie, so she has decided to move back into the GCAC. Let the sex-olympics begin! In other news, Nick and Phyllis got in another fight over Sharon. They ended the fight as they usual do, a hot make out session. Sure, thats what my marriage counselor told me to do too.
Over in Pine Valley, the poker game was a bust for Ryan. However, he still got the girl. What was classic was Ryan's loser speech, in which he told Zach he was just going to take it all again. Sounds like someone is a sore loser. Is anyone actually invested in the nu-psycho Annie story, or is it just a filler for the real stories? I am happy that Stuart is coming back and Adam is missing. That will be a nice change. Why does Erica care so much about Kendall's marriage? Hey, your other daughter is having some serious issues, go butt into her life! David and Krystal got into a little tussle that resulted in a black eye for her and another wall slamming for David, this time courtesy of Tad. Why don't they just nail him to the wall and hand out numbers?
On OLTL, Gigi and Brody had pretend sex to convince Rex that she doesnt love him anymore. I would have done the same thing, but I wouldn't be pretending! I have to laugh at the courtroom shenanigans between Tea and Todd. Why doesn't she just throw him on the defense table and get it on? John told Marty the good or bad news about his marraige to Blair. It would have been great if her eyeballs would have turned into liquid and oozed out of her head. But instead, she took it rather gracefully. Dorian and Ray are so cute, I wish they would just shut up and get it on. Who cares about David other than David?
Thats all I got. Until next time, same bitch time...same bitch channel...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Nacho Mama Drama 3-30-09
It was a great day in the world of soaps. It started with Katherine going of on Jill. Nothing new there. Enter Nikki, who tells Jill that if anyone is an imposter it is her. Victor and Ashley are having a heart to heart about Adam when they hear a "thump" from his room. As usual, it was just another cry for attention from Adam. Unbeknownst to them, Adam was eavesdropping the whole time. Olivia stops by to chat with Ashley, which was really boring. Lily finally grew some balls and broke it off with Cane. Why, oh why then, did she decide to put the giant ring on after he left heart broken? Enter Olivia (big screen time for her today) who makes a big deal out of the "engagement". Way to make her feel better, Aunt Liv. Kevin made Amber rob a bank and it was quite funny. First, Amber was mouthing "help me" into the security camera which is going to end up saving her ass in the end. Then, Kevin fell out in the course of the robbery. Who does that? Amber gets him out of there, but then the car won't start! The cops are getting closer and Kevin's wound is gettng worse. Meanwhile, stupid Jeffery is still on a mission to get Gloria back and somehow thinks he is going to seal the deal by dragging the big dumb bounty hunter around. Janna has a really bad migraine that keeps getting worse. That means (in soapology terms) that Janna is getting her brain tumor back. That could be a good thing since her husband is homicidal. You know what they say...if you can't beat them, join them!
On B&B today, Eric hired Rick a body guard. Brooke heard the news and practicly tongue wrestled with Rick the next time she saw him. Just a mention: Thomas was wearing a sweater that kind of reminded me of 'Where's Waldo". Ridge and Rick call a "truce". How many does this make now? 23? To show that he is willing to accept Rick in exchange for his silence, Ridge gives Steffy the wedding dress he has been working on all her life. I thought Taylor was going to scream like a banshee and scratch his eyes out like a wild animal. This is going to lead to some Ridge and Doc lovin in the afternoon, or at least I hope it does. Just when I thought I had finally caught a great episode of B&B, it was ruined when they cut to Rick and Steffy making out. NO ONE CARES! All I know is that I hope that Don Diamont gets this kind of air time when he starts on this show. Maybe, just maybe, he can breathe some life into B&B. Or, maybe he will sleep with Brooke. Snore.
On B&B today, Eric hired Rick a body guard. Brooke heard the news and practicly tongue wrestled with Rick the next time she saw him. Just a mention: Thomas was wearing a sweater that kind of reminded me of 'Where's Waldo". Ridge and Rick call a "truce". How many does this make now? 23? To show that he is willing to accept Rick in exchange for his silence, Ridge gives Steffy the wedding dress he has been working on all her life. I thought Taylor was going to scream like a banshee and scratch his eyes out like a wild animal. This is going to lead to some Ridge and Doc lovin in the afternoon, or at least I hope it does. Just when I thought I had finally caught a great episode of B&B, it was ruined when they cut to Rick and Steffy making out. NO ONE CARES! All I know is that I hope that Don Diamont gets this kind of air time when he starts on this show. Maybe, just maybe, he can breathe some life into B&B. Or, maybe he will sleep with Brooke. Snore.
Several Servings of OMG coming right up! 3-30-09
Over the weekend I had the opportunity to learn of some upcoming drama and scandals on my favorite shows. They are as follows:
AMC: Jake and Amanda are teaming up to conspire against David. This makes me happy because I think she is best with Jake anyway. Zach and Ryan are going to have some stupid poker game. The prize? Either the casino or some old lady's ashes. Um, gross. Kendall thinks about moving in with Ryan, but in swoops Super Asshole, Zach, who threatens to take the kids away from her if she does. Erica then tries to convince Ryan to leave Kendall hanging. Sure, that's going to work. Stealing a page right of OLTL's current handbook, Ian is going to be fatally ill which will bring Zach and Kendall closer together. She's already mad at Ryan for jackin' all of Zach's assets in a sheisty way. Krystal and David are scheduled to get into some kind of fist fight. Krystal is corn fed, hope she wins. Adam gets sick, but really who gives a hoot? Apparently Erica who said she loves him like ice cream. More like a brain freeze... So Liza is coming back in the form of Jamie Lunar who played the idiot hoe bag on Just the 10 of Us from like 1989. Maybe a red headed Liza is just what we need in Pine Valley. I hear that some guy is coming to the show named Adam Mayfield who is rumored to be Cameron Mathison's doppleganger. Hope is acting is a tad on the, um, better side.
B&B: Rick takes the Thomas opportunity to blackmail Ridge. That's cool with me. Ridge gets more annoying as he gets older. Rick is going to propose to Steffy. Please God, make it stop. Stephanie is going to take relationship advice from her arch nemesis, Nick at the ripe old age of 145 years old. No one cares about that, I guarantee it. Eric fires Stephanie from Forrester. That should be interesting. Jackie is going to seduce Owen. What a shock. A sick disgusting shock. Owen is so hot, is there no other game in town?
GH: Ric and Claudia got it on, yada yada yada. Claudia drugs Ric and then calls Johnny. Johnny and Maxie team up with Claudia to dispose of Ric properly. This causes more friction between the original blonde bitch and Johnny. Johnny decides to kill Ric but Claudia stops him and then, in an effort to smooth things over with Sonny, half ass confesses all to him. Sonny will take her side, of course. Claudia then decides that getting knocked up is the smart thing to do. I smell another 'who's your daddy" storyline after her sexin session with Ric. Speaking of, does he ever not have a drink in his hand? Claudia was buttoning up her pants and he was still in bed taking swigs. I could practicly see the drink dribbling onto his chest. Michael is popular as Jax goes into his room and confesses all. Does anyone know that the boy is in a coma? He can't freakin hear you! Jerry Jacks is coming back. Yay since Sebastian Bach is so yummy, so yummy! The original blonde bitch is going to catch fake-aussie Ethan stealing from Crimson. What a waste of what could be someone elses screen time. Nicholas and old-but-nu Emily are going to share a smootch. Anybody else feel like puking? Maxie is going to lie to Spinelli about Johnny. Sounds like Spinelli is going to seriously need some hands on comforting when the truth comes out. I'll have to check my calander, but I am pretty sure I will be available...
OLTL: Supercop Talia is going to get offed soon. Makes sense now that Antonio is gone. Of course, I don't care. I never like her anyway. Is Stacy sleeping with Kyle, the lab guy? Most likely. Gigi is going to sleep with Brody and break up with Rex. Too bad for Stacy. I get the feeling that he will always find her disgusting. Guess if she keeps drugging him, that could change...Jessica is probobly going to turn into a new personality: Ness. As in lochness monster when she loses her baby and Brody all at the same time. Sucks to be her. The Pussycat Dolls are going to be on soon. Remind me to miss that eppy! Real Andrews is coming as well, to play a cop. I am pretty sure that is all he knows how to do....
Y&R: The biggest news is that Jess Walton walked out of contract negotiations because she refuses to take a pay cut. I don't blame her. She has been on that show since 924 b.c.! I don't see how they can pull off a recast, but I am sure that they will give it a good try. Nina is coming back permanently. That is good news. I love it when they bring back old schoolers. I ponder who she will make trouble for....The long awaited re-arrival of Mac will screw up Chloe's happy family scenario. I just hope that a Mac and Billy reunion doesn't change the way Billy is played. Y&R has already screwed up Cane, I couldn't take it if they screwed up Billy too. Katherine will be diagnosed with Lyme Disease. I don't know what that is, but I am pretty sure she isn't going to die from it. Chloe demands a big wedding at the Chancellor mansion. This pisses Billy off because that's where he married Mac, who he actually wanted to marry. He eventually relents and the wedding is on! Before the wedding, Cane tries to trade the CEO position for custody of Delia with Billy. Billy kicks Cane out of the house. Hope that comes with a couple of swift punches to the gut...At the wedding, Chloe and Jill get into a pissing match over trivial things. The bitchfest continues as Jill and Katherine get into what promises to be the greatest catfight of all times. This irks Billy who leaves and goes to (surprise, surprise) a bar where he just happens to run into Sharon. I think we know what happens next. Nick is going to leave Phyllis. I am not sure why yet, but it is going to be good! Krazy Kevin and Accomplice Amber are going to get busted by the police. This is both good and bad for obvious reasons. Good thing Amber has taken precautions to save herself from prosecution. Kevin on the other hand, is S-C-R-E-W-E-D. Karen figures out Neils diabolical plan for Tyra. I haven't even seen Neil since Devon went off on him. So what the hell is the plan? Last but not least....Terrible Tom is going to appear to Kevin as an apparition. As if the storyline wasn't creepy enough already....
Sounds like enough goodies to keep me watchin! Until next blog, same bitch time, same bitch channel...
AMC: Jake and Amanda are teaming up to conspire against David. This makes me happy because I think she is best with Jake anyway. Zach and Ryan are going to have some stupid poker game. The prize? Either the casino or some old lady's ashes. Um, gross. Kendall thinks about moving in with Ryan, but in swoops Super Asshole, Zach, who threatens to take the kids away from her if she does. Erica then tries to convince Ryan to leave Kendall hanging. Sure, that's going to work. Stealing a page right of OLTL's current handbook, Ian is going to be fatally ill which will bring Zach and Kendall closer together. She's already mad at Ryan for jackin' all of Zach's assets in a sheisty way. Krystal and David are scheduled to get into some kind of fist fight. Krystal is corn fed, hope she wins. Adam gets sick, but really who gives a hoot? Apparently Erica who said she loves him like ice cream. More like a brain freeze... So Liza is coming back in the form of Jamie Lunar who played the idiot hoe bag on Just the 10 of Us from like 1989. Maybe a red headed Liza is just what we need in Pine Valley. I hear that some guy is coming to the show named Adam Mayfield who is rumored to be Cameron Mathison's doppleganger. Hope is acting is a tad on the, um, better side.
B&B: Rick takes the Thomas opportunity to blackmail Ridge. That's cool with me. Ridge gets more annoying as he gets older. Rick is going to propose to Steffy. Please God, make it stop. Stephanie is going to take relationship advice from her arch nemesis, Nick at the ripe old age of 145 years old. No one cares about that, I guarantee it. Eric fires Stephanie from Forrester. That should be interesting. Jackie is going to seduce Owen. What a shock. A sick disgusting shock. Owen is so hot, is there no other game in town?
GH: Ric and Claudia got it on, yada yada yada. Claudia drugs Ric and then calls Johnny. Johnny and Maxie team up with Claudia to dispose of Ric properly. This causes more friction between the original blonde bitch and Johnny. Johnny decides to kill Ric but Claudia stops him and then, in an effort to smooth things over with Sonny, half ass confesses all to him. Sonny will take her side, of course. Claudia then decides that getting knocked up is the smart thing to do. I smell another 'who's your daddy" storyline after her sexin session with Ric. Speaking of, does he ever not have a drink in his hand? Claudia was buttoning up her pants and he was still in bed taking swigs. I could practicly see the drink dribbling onto his chest. Michael is popular as Jax goes into his room and confesses all. Does anyone know that the boy is in a coma? He can't freakin hear you! Jerry Jacks is coming back. Yay since Sebastian Bach is so yummy, so yummy! The original blonde bitch is going to catch fake-aussie Ethan stealing from Crimson. What a waste of what could be someone elses screen time. Nicholas and old-but-nu Emily are going to share a smootch. Anybody else feel like puking? Maxie is going to lie to Spinelli about Johnny. Sounds like Spinelli is going to seriously need some hands on comforting when the truth comes out. I'll have to check my calander, but I am pretty sure I will be available...
OLTL: Supercop Talia is going to get offed soon. Makes sense now that Antonio is gone. Of course, I don't care. I never like her anyway. Is Stacy sleeping with Kyle, the lab guy? Most likely. Gigi is going to sleep with Brody and break up with Rex. Too bad for Stacy. I get the feeling that he will always find her disgusting. Guess if she keeps drugging him, that could change...Jessica is probobly going to turn into a new personality: Ness. As in lochness monster when she loses her baby and Brody all at the same time. Sucks to be her. The Pussycat Dolls are going to be on soon. Remind me to miss that eppy! Real Andrews is coming as well, to play a cop. I am pretty sure that is all he knows how to do....
Y&R: The biggest news is that Jess Walton walked out of contract negotiations because she refuses to take a pay cut. I don't blame her. She has been on that show since 924 b.c.! I don't see how they can pull off a recast, but I am sure that they will give it a good try. Nina is coming back permanently. That is good news. I love it when they bring back old schoolers. I ponder who she will make trouble for....The long awaited re-arrival of Mac will screw up Chloe's happy family scenario. I just hope that a Mac and Billy reunion doesn't change the way Billy is played. Y&R has already screwed up Cane, I couldn't take it if they screwed up Billy too. Katherine will be diagnosed with Lyme Disease. I don't know what that is, but I am pretty sure she isn't going to die from it. Chloe demands a big wedding at the Chancellor mansion. This pisses Billy off because that's where he married Mac, who he actually wanted to marry. He eventually relents and the wedding is on! Before the wedding, Cane tries to trade the CEO position for custody of Delia with Billy. Billy kicks Cane out of the house. Hope that comes with a couple of swift punches to the gut...At the wedding, Chloe and Jill get into a pissing match over trivial things. The bitchfest continues as Jill and Katherine get into what promises to be the greatest catfight of all times. This irks Billy who leaves and goes to (surprise, surprise) a bar where he just happens to run into Sharon. I think we know what happens next. Nick is going to leave Phyllis. I am not sure why yet, but it is going to be good! Krazy Kevin and Accomplice Amber are going to get busted by the police. This is both good and bad for obvious reasons. Good thing Amber has taken precautions to save herself from prosecution. Kevin on the other hand, is S-C-R-E-W-E-D. Karen figures out Neils diabolical plan for Tyra. I haven't even seen Neil since Devon went off on him. So what the hell is the plan? Last but not least....Terrible Tom is going to appear to Kevin as an apparition. As if the storyline wasn't creepy enough already....
Sounds like enough goodies to keep me watchin! Until next blog, same bitch time, same bitch channel...
Friday, March 27, 2009
Fire Me Friday! 3-27-09
Todays cliffhanger eppy of Y&R was just that! Murphy is so cute, that old bastard. I love how he supports Katherine no matter what even during that strange, albiet, interesting photoshoot. Katherine looked great. So Adam ripped into Victor and Victor ripped right back so Ashley, the evil stepmother, tries to step in. Here's a point: He hates you too dumb ass! Does Y&R really expect me to give a hoot about the nosy ass housekeeper that keeps popping up at the ranch? She really makes me want to throw something violently. Cane told Chloe she really was a heartless bitch after she screamed that he WAS NOT Delia's father. Chloe hauls ass over to Lily, who comes to her senses and tells Cane it's over. He points out that Lily said he wouldn't have to choose. Lily said he didn't and walked out. It's about time that bitch thought about someone else besides her and that australian hottie...Jill went on a firing spree today; canning Mary Jane, Billy, Jack, and Ashley from Jabot. I will laugh myself off the couch when that comes back to bitch slap her ass. Katherine got the last word with the DNA results that proved that she is Katherine and that Jill is not a Chancellor. Ouch. The look on Jill's face was priceless. Mary Jane looked like she needed a couple of prozac her damn self when she got the news. I don't think Victor is prepared for the mental instability that I can see Mary Jane being capable of. His little plan might just backfire. Poor Billy had my sympathy today as he got kicked around in every direction. He is going to get so mad, that the next time he attacks Sharon, they probobly won't be able to show it. Here's hoping.
It's Friday bitches! Until whenever...same bitch time...same bitch channel...
It's Friday bitches! Until whenever...same bitch time...same bitch channel...
Oh, really? 3-27-09
Ryan seriously impressed me today as I viewed yesterdays AMC. I thought Zach's face was going to crack into a million pieces and fall all over the floor when Ryan told him that everything Zach had was now his. Guess that includes Kendall after that long ass message she left him. What cell phone lets you leave a message that long? Anyway, Erica threw some power around to stop David from his dastardly deeds. I just wonder what any of that has to do with her? I don't really care, because if I was J.R., I would have taken Little A(sshole) out of the country a long time ago. David is crazy and evil, and quite frankly just not that handsome to look at. I know Greenlea is coming back soon, in some form, and then Kendall and Ryan will have some splainin to do!
Cole is my new hero on OLTL. I felt bad for him when he struggled on whether or not to take the drugs. Of course, the addict sitting on his shoulder won the struggle and he was floating like a feather all through the hearing. Oh well, it worked. I had to laugh, though, when Cole was stonedly rambling on and on to Nora when Marty strolls up. Nora looked so glad as she hurried off and said this: "Your son really needs you." Starr is disgusting. She actually thinks she can convince mini-Jana that it's okay to be hot for teacher. No little friend. Why would he play with little girls when he has a fully adequate stripper-ex-girlfriend walking around naked in his apartment? There's no hot water and no clean towels? Oh, that bitch has to go! Bo looked so proud of Matthew when he finally overcome his slightly annoying attitude problem and got in the damn chair. Nora looked really pretty when she saw him. I could see why Bo fell in love with her. Rex was real cute today for some reason. I won't question it.
As far as GH goes, I didn't watch yesterdays eppy. But, I am sure it is more of the same. Blah Blah Blah Yada Yada Yada....
Until next time....same bitch time....same bitch channel...
Cole is my new hero on OLTL. I felt bad for him when he struggled on whether or not to take the drugs. Of course, the addict sitting on his shoulder won the struggle and he was floating like a feather all through the hearing. Oh well, it worked. I had to laugh, though, when Cole was stonedly rambling on and on to Nora when Marty strolls up. Nora looked so glad as she hurried off and said this: "Your son really needs you." Starr is disgusting. She actually thinks she can convince mini-Jana that it's okay to be hot for teacher. No little friend. Why would he play with little girls when he has a fully adequate stripper-ex-girlfriend walking around naked in his apartment? There's no hot water and no clean towels? Oh, that bitch has to go! Bo looked so proud of Matthew when he finally overcome his slightly annoying attitude problem and got in the damn chair. Nora looked really pretty when she saw him. I could see why Bo fell in love with her. Rex was real cute today for some reason. I won't question it.
As far as GH goes, I didn't watch yesterdays eppy. But, I am sure it is more of the same. Blah Blah Blah Yada Yada Yada....
Until next time....same bitch time....same bitch channel...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Dead Woman Talking 3-36-09
At the beginning of todays eppy of Y&R, Marge came busting out of a coffin and started rambling on about the goings on of Genoa City. Just when I thought that it was going to be a snoozer episode, things started to look up. I loved how Phyllis taunted Sharon at the GCAC, but, unbeknownst to the red-headed she devil, Nick was sniffing around trying to catch some alone time with his ex. Marge commented on if Nick would ever change. Um, probobly not. What is that they say about dogs? Anyway, Marge was awesome once again when Victor and Nicki had the "let's be friends' convo when they really wanted to rip eachother's eyes out. She said "ok, you kiss her, or you kiss him..." Kiss? Victor looks as if he would rather resort to cannibalism than kiss her ever again. Amber went the hell off on Kevin. But alas, it had no effect on him. He pulled out the gun, pointed it at her and told her he was tired of her. Somebody had to say it...
On B&B, Thomas goes over to Rick's to confess that he tried to kill him when he blew up his car. After a verbal altercation, (which included Rick saying this: "I am tired of being your all purpose brain receptacle") a physical altercation began to ensue. Of course, Ridge busted in and saved Thomas from a serious ass whippin. If this storyline continues much longer, I might end up blowing Rick up myself. Owen and Bridget finally made out today. Thank God. I could care less about Bridget, but Owen is hot, hot, hot! His backburner status was really starting to irritate me. Side note: I saw a preview for some new idiotic Disney movie starring the kid that plays what's his name...seriously, I forgot. Oh yeah, its Marcus. Oops.
Over in Oakdale, Holden made an appearance and it was well worth my time. After catching Damien in Luke's hospital room, he literally picked Damien up by the throat and carried him out. I know Luke hates him and all, but he is great eye candy. Plus, I love it when he says "Luciano" with that hot ass accent of his. I am so glad he is back. I hate nu-Lily. Just watching her hold hands with Holden made me grit my teeth. Martha Byrne would be rolling in her grave. Um, if she were dead...Anyways...back to soaps!
Until next time....same bitch time...same bitch channel
On B&B, Thomas goes over to Rick's to confess that he tried to kill him when he blew up his car. After a verbal altercation, (which included Rick saying this: "I am tired of being your all purpose brain receptacle") a physical altercation began to ensue. Of course, Ridge busted in and saved Thomas from a serious ass whippin. If this storyline continues much longer, I might end up blowing Rick up myself. Owen and Bridget finally made out today. Thank God. I could care less about Bridget, but Owen is hot, hot, hot! His backburner status was really starting to irritate me. Side note: I saw a preview for some new idiotic Disney movie starring the kid that plays what's his name...seriously, I forgot. Oh yeah, its Marcus. Oops.
Over in Oakdale, Holden made an appearance and it was well worth my time. After catching Damien in Luke's hospital room, he literally picked Damien up by the throat and carried him out. I know Luke hates him and all, but he is great eye candy. Plus, I love it when he says "Luciano" with that hot ass accent of his. I am so glad he is back. I hate nu-Lily. Just watching her hold hands with Holden made me grit my teeth. Martha Byrne would be rolling in her grave. Um, if she were dead...Anyways...back to soaps!
Until next time....same bitch time...same bitch channel
Rejection in the A.M. 3-26-09
On GH I was surprised when Robin went home to Patrick and confessed all. All except the part about the goateed-hottie, whom I later found out was named Brad. That'll come back to bite her in the ass. Speaking of ass...Jax saw Carly getting ready to watch the oh so incriminating DVD. Jax stalls her by having sex with her. Afterwords, he gets rid of the DVD so Carly can't see it and they have a "no more secrets" conversation. Spinelli and Jason got arrested but were quickly released because of lack of evidence. Yawn. Maxie told Spinelli that she's scared she is going to sleep with Johnny. I would be scared too honey. Ric, oh Ric, you make me so sick..The original blond bitch continues to complain about Johnny so he walked out on her. Thank God. I can listen to her no more!
I felt really bad for Kendall on AMC this morning when, after giving up the booty, Ryan rejects her and tells her "this can never happen again". Kendall runs home in tears only to find Zach sitting there hanging around with Erica, mulling over all of Kendalls business. Erica gets married twice a week, who the hell is she to talk? I love how Krystal used to hate David and love Tad, and now it's the other way around. Speaking of David! Jesse, who I have never noticed before, threw that bastard up against the wall and told him he didn't like him. I noticed, Jesse, thanks. Later, Jesse was talking to J.R. and giving him the business as well. It was nice.
OLTL was funny today as Natalie busted out with the super fantasy in mid-confession to Jessica and Starr. Jessica was awesome as she screamed "I should have blown you up all over Llanview!" I love Natalie, but I wonder why she doesn't just mind her own business instead of constantly stressing herself over other peoples. I like this Desitiny. She's got spunk. She's just what Matthew needs to get his groove back. As with all paralysis stories, on soaps, he will walk again, so I am not really invested anyway. I laughed my ass off when Todd was hiding behind the curtain at the hospital spying on Blair and her peeps and Dorian sceamed: "Todd Manning!" Did I say screamed? I meant shrieked! Heres a thought....If I were Todd, I would knock John out for banging my baby's mama!
Until next time...same bitch time...same bitch channel...
I felt really bad for Kendall on AMC this morning when, after giving up the booty, Ryan rejects her and tells her "this can never happen again". Kendall runs home in tears only to find Zach sitting there hanging around with Erica, mulling over all of Kendalls business. Erica gets married twice a week, who the hell is she to talk? I love how Krystal used to hate David and love Tad, and now it's the other way around. Speaking of David! Jesse, who I have never noticed before, threw that bastard up against the wall and told him he didn't like him. I noticed, Jesse, thanks. Later, Jesse was talking to J.R. and giving him the business as well. It was nice.
OLTL was funny today as Natalie busted out with the super fantasy in mid-confession to Jessica and Starr. Jessica was awesome as she screamed "I should have blown you up all over Llanview!" I love Natalie, but I wonder why she doesn't just mind her own business instead of constantly stressing herself over other peoples. I like this Desitiny. She's got spunk. She's just what Matthew needs to get his groove back. As with all paralysis stories, on soaps, he will walk again, so I am not really invested anyway. I laughed my ass off when Todd was hiding behind the curtain at the hospital spying on Blair and her peeps and Dorian sceamed: "Todd Manning!" Did I say screamed? I meant shrieked! Heres a thought....If I were Todd, I would knock John out for banging my baby's mama!
Until next time...same bitch time...same bitch channel...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I missed that?! 3-25-09
Oh my god! I had to help my son today and although there was 10 minutes of Y&R left, I decided nothing good would happen and I walked away only to return to catch the ass end of tomorrow's preview. Later, my girl J and I were discussing how much of an asshole Billy was today when she mentioned how hot the last minute of the show was. She was flabbergasted when I said that I had missed and youtubed me the clip right away. Crisis averted! I wish Billy would snatch my ass up, tell me to shut my mouth, and throw me on the couch where we would ravage eachothers bodies until we both screamed in the final moment of passion...oh snap, where am I going with this? Oh well. It was the hottest 15 seconds I have seen since Billy snatched Sharon up at GCAC and ripped off her robe, exposing her supple bosom...anyway...I just had to get that out.
Until next time. Same bitch time...same bitch channel
Until next time. Same bitch time...same bitch channel
Whiny Wednsday 3-25-09
Billy Miller dominated the screen today on Y&R as he showed us how desperately he wants out of his current situation. I know it is in the script, but there are other ways to see your biological child than to marry the mother of said child. He proved how unhappy he was when he told Chloe that he was glad she was keeping Cane's rings because then he didn't have to buy new ones. That's classy. Although my favorite Abbott was being an ass today, he looked damn good in that blue shirt he was wearing. I thought Sharon was going to rip his clothes off during their "we can never sleep together again" conversation at the bottom of the stairs. Billy said this: "You can't live here and use my brother!" Who's using who, asshole? Sharon also looked like she wanted to rip Mary Jane's eyes out when Jack introduced them. Shows me that Sharon's womanly insticts are still intact when it comes to Jack's roaming penis. Over at, well somewhere, Cane hid a giant marry me rock in a fortune cookie. I found this to be quite the cliche, even for soaps. She shot him down, stating that she couldn't and didn't want to be a mother to Delia. Lily told Cane she only agreed to raise Delia because that is what he wanted. Way to be a stronger woman, Lily, really. Katherine gave Victor an oral whipping that made him believe that she is who she says she is. This prompted him to approach Jill and strike a deal. Jill, the greedy twit, hungrily agreed with $$ in her eyes. I noticed that Jill still has a few tricks up her sleeves still when she tried to butter up nu-Mary Jane into working with her behind Billy's back. Once again, I cannot wait to see how the demise of Billy and Jill's relationship will rock Genoa City.
On B&B, they want us to believe that Pam is just going to stay in jail and take the blame for Thomas the Dork? Brooke is crying to Katie about Ridge and Taylor's attempt at being the parental dynamic duo. AND, thanks B&B for another wasted 1/2 hour on Ric and Steffy and their childish, almost incestruous relationship!
ATWT is doing a storyline on gay rights. This is a great set-up for a Damien and Lily reunion when he returns. Since I haven't seen Holden in a while, this works for me. I almost cannot sit through this show right now because of my hatred for all things teeny-bopper. Parker and Liberty are shacking up in the honeymoon suite at the ripe old age of 16 and Craig is footing the bill? Janet, the incapable wretch of a stepmother, desperately needs help handling the children so she calls Carly, who comes rushing over. Jack spits venomous insults at her about her drinking and her friendship with Craig. Jack, if I was married to you I would drink at 6:00 a.m. too.
Until next time, same bitch time, same bitch channel...
On B&B, they want us to believe that Pam is just going to stay in jail and take the blame for Thomas the Dork? Brooke is crying to Katie about Ridge and Taylor's attempt at being the parental dynamic duo. AND, thanks B&B for another wasted 1/2 hour on Ric and Steffy and their childish, almost incestruous relationship!
ATWT is doing a storyline on gay rights. This is a great set-up for a Damien and Lily reunion when he returns. Since I haven't seen Holden in a while, this works for me. I almost cannot sit through this show right now because of my hatred for all things teeny-bopper. Parker and Liberty are shacking up in the honeymoon suite at the ripe old age of 16 and Craig is footing the bill? Janet, the incapable wretch of a stepmother, desperately needs help handling the children so she calls Carly, who comes rushing over. Jack spits venomous insults at her about her drinking and her friendship with Craig. Jack, if I was married to you I would drink at 6:00 a.m. too.
Until next time, same bitch time, same bitch channel...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Word of the Day 3-24-09
Todays word of the day is brought to you by Nicki and Paul as they discussed the only option left to finding out Katherine's true identity.
"Exhume": means to remove a body from a grave or to bring something to light. In this case, both.
Sentence Usage: If Marty (OLTL) died, I would want to make sure she was dead so I would exhume her body and bury her again.
My crazy ass is out!
"Exhume": means to remove a body from a grave or to bring something to light. In this case, both.
Sentence Usage: If Marty (OLTL) died, I would want to make sure she was dead so I would exhume her body and bury her again.
My crazy ass is out!
Traumatic and Tricked Out Tuesday 3-24-09
I had a chance to switch on yesterdays eppy of GH just as Ric was taunting Claudia with the incriminating DVD. I could have cut the sexual tension in the room with a machete. Then he kissed her with his slimy old-Alan Micheal lips and I had to ponder why she didn't resist or at the very least, push him away. But, later at the mob summit, Ric did get pushed, hard, by Stone Cold Jason Morgan. The best part was that all of Ric's drink and most of his ice flew onto his shirt. Claudia thought she was something else in that space-suit rubber band of a dress she was wearing. Oh well, she is a trallop. I was annoyed that Spinelli and his she-twin hid behind some desk for the whole episode. Maxie more than made up for it when she told the original blond bitch to chill the hell out in regards to Johnny. Lulu's face twisted up so hard I thought it just might get stuck that way. That would have been okay with me. I was disapointed in Robin today as she suddenly stopped doing the hotel horizontal with the goateed-hottie. Seriously, if you're going to go crazy, go all the way.
AMC was intriguing today as Zach cold heartedly rejected Kendall's pleas for a second chance. What he really means is that now that Reese has decided to stay a lesbian, he wants Reese even more. Who really cares why anyway? Ryan got the news that it was Greenlea's body that was found. Thank God he looked good while over-reacting to the news and shedding a fake tear or two. Again, who cares? This bit of bad acting led to what I wanted to see all along: Ryan and Kendall gettin' it on. Erica: It's time to invest in some new earrings. The ones you wore today were literally bigger than your head. David: I wish you would die, again, old-Lujack!
My girl J made a great point today. What kind of name is Little A anyway? Little Asshole? I wonder.
Stacy got bitch slapped today on OLTL. As I usually try to stick up for her, I cannot find a reasonable way to do so. This bitch is loco! Natalie looked horrible in todays eppy. She is my favorite. Not good. I don't see how anyone can find Jessica attractive. She is crazier than Stacy, literally, and I don't hear anyone bitching about her. I want to know why soap guys always want to take care of kids that have absolutely no relation to them. Take Brody for example. Wouldn't it be great if his conversation with Jess, Tess, Bess went something like this?:
Jessica: "I cannot believe Gigi let you believe that you were the father of Shane for all those years."
Brody: "Yeah, I told that bitch I was 100% sure that the baby wasn't mine. That hoe slept with everybody in the neighborhood, including the pizza guy!"
Jessica: "I am so glad Maury did that DNA test and final proved the truth."
Brody: "That's right. Now come over here and give daddy some sugar."
Thats the way it goes down in real life.
Nora was wearing a very stuffy looking turtle neck today. Is she trying to hide a hickey? It's March, damnit. I thought it might just pop right off of her shoulders as she rigidly spoke to Tea. Nora has balls. I dig it.
Until next time. Same bitch time...Same bitch channel
AMC was intriguing today as Zach cold heartedly rejected Kendall's pleas for a second chance. What he really means is that now that Reese has decided to stay a lesbian, he wants Reese even more. Who really cares why anyway? Ryan got the news that it was Greenlea's body that was found. Thank God he looked good while over-reacting to the news and shedding a fake tear or two. Again, who cares? This bit of bad acting led to what I wanted to see all along: Ryan and Kendall gettin' it on. Erica: It's time to invest in some new earrings. The ones you wore today were literally bigger than your head. David: I wish you would die, again, old-Lujack!
My girl J made a great point today. What kind of name is Little A anyway? Little Asshole? I wonder.
Stacy got bitch slapped today on OLTL. As I usually try to stick up for her, I cannot find a reasonable way to do so. This bitch is loco! Natalie looked horrible in todays eppy. She is my favorite. Not good. I don't see how anyone can find Jessica attractive. She is crazier than Stacy, literally, and I don't hear anyone bitching about her. I want to know why soap guys always want to take care of kids that have absolutely no relation to them. Take Brody for example. Wouldn't it be great if his conversation with Jess, Tess, Bess went something like this?:
Jessica: "I cannot believe Gigi let you believe that you were the father of Shane for all those years."
Brody: "Yeah, I told that bitch I was 100% sure that the baby wasn't mine. That hoe slept with everybody in the neighborhood, including the pizza guy!"
Jessica: "I am so glad Maury did that DNA test and final proved the truth."
Brody: "That's right. Now come over here and give daddy some sugar."
Thats the way it goes down in real life.
Nora was wearing a very stuffy looking turtle neck today. Is she trying to hide a hickey? It's March, damnit. I thought it might just pop right off of her shoulders as she rigidly spoke to Tea. Nora has balls. I dig it.
Until next time. Same bitch time...Same bitch channel
I scream, You scream, Amber screams! 3-24-09
CBS was a little more exciting today, although not by much. Greg Riikart deserves an emmy because Kevin is giving me the heeby jeebies. It looked as if Amber was really going to get through to him when, bam, he decides she needs a timeout in the coffin that just happens to be sitting on the living room floor. Amber screamed, and screamed, and sceamed, and well, you get the point. Big ups to Adrianne Frantz. Lots of boring Katherine action today...but the best part of today's eppy was when Jack and Jill were discussing the current situation at Jabot when he said: "Oh Jill, its nice to see you're not dripping venom all over the floor." Forgive me Jill, but that was great.
B&B leaves a lot to be desired. 30 minutes of watching Rick and Steffy make out is enough for me to change the channel to Montel Williams or the Price is Right. I do have a theory though...no I don't! Bold and the Beautiful just sucks.
ATWT is pouring on the teen scene in March, which spells trouble for my summer. I don't care about Parker and Liberty, or Janet, or Nu-Lily, or Nu-Lucy, or Nu-Craig, or tired baby stories. The only thing of interest that has happened of late is when Paul told Emily to stab him with the giant butcher knife. After she declined, he said he would do it himself. Later, Paul walks into the emergency room holding his hand. Way to go Paul, way to stab that finger! Let's face it, ATWT sucks too.
All I can say is: Thank God for OLTL on days like this! I am out!
B&B leaves a lot to be desired. 30 minutes of watching Rick and Steffy make out is enough for me to change the channel to Montel Williams or the Price is Right. I do have a theory though...no I don't! Bold and the Beautiful just sucks.
ATWT is pouring on the teen scene in March, which spells trouble for my summer. I don't care about Parker and Liberty, or Janet, or Nu-Lily, or Nu-Lucy, or Nu-Craig, or tired baby stories. The only thing of interest that has happened of late is when Paul told Emily to stab him with the giant butcher knife. After she declined, he said he would do it himself. Later, Paul walks into the emergency room holding his hand. Way to go Paul, way to stab that finger! Let's face it, ATWT sucks too.
All I can say is: Thank God for OLTL on days like this! I am out!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Stacy Saves the Day! 3-23-09
Thank God I have variety in my soap watching! AMC was eventful today. I noticed some things as I viewed todays eppy. I love how Ryan blends into the background at Fusion just eavesdropping away, and no one seems to notice or care. I just happened to glance at the screen at what did I see? Zach having a conversation with someone and he had short hair. So, I thought to myself, awesome! The people that be finally allowed the guy to get a haircut. But alas, it was just a flashback. I didn't really care what his hair looked like when he called Aidan out on his betrayal, if thats what you want to call it. All I want to know is, don't the guys in Pine Valley get tired of losing their ladies to Ryan? It seems to be a rather common occurance. Erica wore 3 different coats today. Just a side note. Anyway, she was irking me because if she's not being mean, I don't want her on my screen! She did not dissapoint, however, when Reese showed up at Fusion. She spit some hateful insults at Reese, who surprised me by growing a pair of balls and giving Erica the business. Ah, refreshing. Funniest line of all the soaps today was when Jesse was threatening David about something or other and David shouted "You don't have the chops!" Chops? What does that mean exactly? Cut to Randy on her wedding day. Was it just me, or was she really pretending to walk down the aisle using a feather duster as her bouquet and humming the wedding march? Just checking. And last but not least, Zach is shitty about Ryan and Kendall's Montana mourning sex. Today, he served her with divorce papers. Sad for her, good for us!
Since CBS soaps were pretty much a snooze fest today, I found it oh so refreshing when OLTL was full of goodies! First of all, I know everyone hates Stacy, but I absolutely love to hate her! I love how she refuses to give up the marrow to save her nephew over a man with a family of squirrels living in his eyebrows. After I listened to Stacy spew hateful words, threats, and ultimatums at Gigi, I was extemely amused when Stacy said this: "Come on, I'm not heartless!" No? Just brainless. I also had to laugh a little when Rex and Roxy are discussing a potential donor at hospital. For one, Roxy looks like some sort of bizarro biker chick. Second, Rex was looking kind of good. Yum. Third, Rex is an idiot for not seeing through Roxy's lies. Fourth, how long is Rex going to hold those 2 large styrofoam cups? Swear to God, he never put them down.
My girl J thinks that Jack is so cute. Todd may be a rapist, liar, creep, horrible father, and psycho husband, but if my kid told me to "get the hell out" I might just have to bust out the Irish Spring. I'm just saying. A Martinez made me laugh outloud today. He went off on Todd with his horrible fake accent. Makes me laugh everytime he talks. I had to chuckle when Cole asked the jail guard for some "tylenol or something". Yeah, kid. That's going to help your opiate withdrawals. Starr threw one of her famous tantrums when she discovered she would have to move back in with Todd. Marty was as equally annoying as she usually is, but, to her credit, her hair looked better straight. I enjoyed the whole 2 seconds of flashbacks we got to see her have as well.
No GH today, as I am saving it for the a.m. Until then, I am outty 5000!
Since CBS soaps were pretty much a snooze fest today, I found it oh so refreshing when OLTL was full of goodies! First of all, I know everyone hates Stacy, but I absolutely love to hate her! I love how she refuses to give up the marrow to save her nephew over a man with a family of squirrels living in his eyebrows. After I listened to Stacy spew hateful words, threats, and ultimatums at Gigi, I was extemely amused when Stacy said this: "Come on, I'm not heartless!" No? Just brainless. I also had to laugh a little when Rex and Roxy are discussing a potential donor at hospital. For one, Roxy looks like some sort of bizarro biker chick. Second, Rex was looking kind of good. Yum. Third, Rex is an idiot for not seeing through Roxy's lies. Fourth, how long is Rex going to hold those 2 large styrofoam cups? Swear to God, he never put them down.
My girl J thinks that Jack is so cute. Todd may be a rapist, liar, creep, horrible father, and psycho husband, but if my kid told me to "get the hell out" I might just have to bust out the Irish Spring. I'm just saying. A Martinez made me laugh outloud today. He went off on Todd with his horrible fake accent. Makes me laugh everytime he talks. I had to chuckle when Cole asked the jail guard for some "tylenol or something". Yeah, kid. That's going to help your opiate withdrawals. Starr threw one of her famous tantrums when she discovered she would have to move back in with Todd. Marty was as equally annoying as she usually is, but, to her credit, her hair looked better straight. I enjoyed the whole 2 seconds of flashbacks we got to see her have as well.
No GH today, as I am saving it for the a.m. Until then, I am outty 5000!
Word of the Day 3-23-09
Todays word of the day is brought to you by Dorian on OLTL. She was talking about Todd to a lady I have never seen before.
Psychosis: severe mental disorder characterized by derangement of personality and loss of contact with reality.
Sentence usage: All my favorite soap heroines suffer from some form of psychosis.
Another great word...until next time, I am out!
Psychosis: severe mental disorder characterized by derangement of personality and loss of contact with reality.
Sentence usage: All my favorite soap heroines suffer from some form of psychosis.
Another great word...until next time, I am out!
Manic Monday CBS 3-23-09
As can be expected on a Monday, todays Y&R was a little on the boring side. Katherine and Murphy were sweet, cute and old today as they shared a momentary reunion. Meanwhile, Paul is at the GCAC convincing Nikki that Katherine is really Marge. I think shes going for it, too. I don't feel sorry for Adam, whose whining is making it impossible for me to enjoy him. He continues to cry bitterly over everything Victor, Ashley, and baby. All the while, he is in desperate need of a hair cut. Of course, he doesn't know that because he can't see it. Someone should let him on the secret. Gloria made me proud today as she shot Jeffrey down not once, but twice as he feigned concern for Kevin. Otherwise, she was her usual annoying self. Finally, so many things about Amber and Kevin made me laugh outloud like a mad woman. Amber is searching for Kevin when Daniel calls. Daniel and Amber are discussing how dangerous it is "out there" when Daniel says this: "Amber, I can't lose you. I love you too much." I swear I threw up in my mouth a little bit. After this declaration, Amber is startled by gunshots and throws her cell phone. What is up with Amber and cell phones? Anyway, so she finds Kevin and he takes her back to Clints house. She tries to convince him that Tom is dead. Kevin gets shitty and locks her in the closet with the dead guy. Classic.
On B&B, Thomas and Steffy argued over Rick. Snore. This makes day #5 of watching them stand in one spot at the cabin in Big Bear and scream at eachother while Ridge and Taylor stand around twiddling their thumbs. Pam is in jail, and everyone is treating her horribly. Oh well. Guess thats what she gets. The rest of todays eppy was spent on Nick and Jackie discussing Jackie's stale and stagnent sex life. Ew. Who talks to their mummy about that?
ATWT: I cannot believe that Alison-the-porn-star is the voice of reason on this show now. Pair her with nu-Casey and his tantrum throwing ass, and you have the makings of one of the most boring shows on earth. I was amused at Tom and Margo's (are they still alive?) attempts to make peace after they had him arrested for something he didn't do. I love Paul and Emily together, especially if it means that they are out to do harm to Dusty and Meg. Dusty makes me ill. A man I once found to be extremely sexy, is now just a shell of a man with a disgustingly icky haircut. I am curious about nu-Lucy. She has some tricks up her sleeve. I never even noticed her until she almost hauled off and punched Meg in the face today.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a little more eventful! I am o-u-t!
On B&B, Thomas and Steffy argued over Rick. Snore. This makes day #5 of watching them stand in one spot at the cabin in Big Bear and scream at eachother while Ridge and Taylor stand around twiddling their thumbs. Pam is in jail, and everyone is treating her horribly. Oh well. Guess thats what she gets. The rest of todays eppy was spent on Nick and Jackie discussing Jackie's stale and stagnent sex life. Ew. Who talks to their mummy about that?
ATWT: I cannot believe that Alison-the-porn-star is the voice of reason on this show now. Pair her with nu-Casey and his tantrum throwing ass, and you have the makings of one of the most boring shows on earth. I was amused at Tom and Margo's (are they still alive?) attempts to make peace after they had him arrested for something he didn't do. I love Paul and Emily together, especially if it means that they are out to do harm to Dusty and Meg. Dusty makes me ill. A man I once found to be extremely sexy, is now just a shell of a man with a disgustingly icky haircut. I am curious about nu-Lucy. She has some tricks up her sleeve. I never even noticed her until she almost hauled off and punched Meg in the face today.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a little more eventful! I am o-u-t!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Weekend Tidbits 3-22-09
The weekend is coming to an end and I have learned some slightly interesting upcoming sudsy tidbits.
I feel guilty for not discussing my other CBS soaps on here. On B&B, they are bringing back Karen, or dead Caroline, or whoever. All I know is that it spells trouble for Brooke and Ridge. Do I care? Not really.
On ATWT, Dusty is sleeping with Meg AGAIN. Hey, 1986 called, they want their storyline back! So Damien is coming back, which is great. But, in order for him to come back, Luke has to get hit by a car. Darn. One less bad actor to worry about. In addition, Jack is going to catch Carly in bed with Craig this week. This will undoubtedly lead to two days of Jack attempting to be holier than thou; and, for me, 2 extra hours of sleep.
This week on Y&R, Kevin will be searched for by a bounty hunter. Murphy and Katherine are getting married, which just pleases me to no end. Katherine needs loving too! The DNA debacles continue as Victor offers Jill controlling shares of Jabot to exhume Katherine's body. Of course, she goes for it! What a wierdo. Lily is going to turn down Cane's marraige proposal. Which leads me to this: I was reading the comment section in the SOD, and one woman actually wrote that she loves the new Cane with a new stronger Lily by his side.
Heres to you, lady who wrote that stupid shit! Hope Chloe bitch slaps you in the face...
One last Y&R tidbit. The actress who will be portraying the new Mackenzie is the real life daughter of Cybill Shepard. Hhhmmm, interesting.
Three things I need to get off my chest about OLTL:
1. Nora wants Cole to go to rehab. Isn't there an app for that?
2. How can a girl (Jessica) with 3 or 4 different personalities rightfully get custody of her child, even if the child isn't really hers and nobody knows it? Except for Shaggy and Scooby....
3. It has literally been 5 days since Christian and Layla locked theirselves in the freezer. Can we please get down with some frozen friction?!
Ric is going to blackmail Claudia for sex this week. Yawn. I know everyone is hating Robin right now. However, it is nice to see her do something naughty for a change. Quite frankly, she couldn't have picked a hotter guy to go bipolar on. I am becoming slightly preturbed at Maxie. She tells Spinelli that if he goes into hiding, she is going to sleep with Johnny. Now, I have invested my time relearning the workings of GH for this baby-supercouple. I agree that Maxie and Johnny are real HOT, but GH is good again because of Maxie and Spinelli. There is a silver lining....for Maxie.
Most Predictable GH Moment of the Year: Fake aussie is Luke's son and Lulu and Lucky's brother. When I read this, I almost wet myself with surprise. Oh, oh, no I didn't.
I feel guilty for not discussing my other CBS soaps on here. On B&B, they are bringing back Karen, or dead Caroline, or whoever. All I know is that it spells trouble for Brooke and Ridge. Do I care? Not really.
On ATWT, Dusty is sleeping with Meg AGAIN. Hey, 1986 called, they want their storyline back! So Damien is coming back, which is great. But, in order for him to come back, Luke has to get hit by a car. Darn. One less bad actor to worry about. In addition, Jack is going to catch Carly in bed with Craig this week. This will undoubtedly lead to two days of Jack attempting to be holier than thou; and, for me, 2 extra hours of sleep.
This week on Y&R, Kevin will be searched for by a bounty hunter. Murphy and Katherine are getting married, which just pleases me to no end. Katherine needs loving too! The DNA debacles continue as Victor offers Jill controlling shares of Jabot to exhume Katherine's body. Of course, she goes for it! What a wierdo. Lily is going to turn down Cane's marraige proposal. Which leads me to this: I was reading the comment section in the SOD, and one woman actually wrote that she loves the new Cane with a new stronger Lily by his side.
Heres to you, lady who wrote that stupid shit! Hope Chloe bitch slaps you in the face...
One last Y&R tidbit. The actress who will be portraying the new Mackenzie is the real life daughter of Cybill Shepard. Hhhmmm, interesting.
Three things I need to get off my chest about OLTL:
1. Nora wants Cole to go to rehab. Isn't there an app for that?
2. How can a girl (Jessica) with 3 or 4 different personalities rightfully get custody of her child, even if the child isn't really hers and nobody knows it? Except for Shaggy and Scooby....
3. It has literally been 5 days since Christian and Layla locked theirselves in the freezer. Can we please get down with some frozen friction?!
Ric is going to blackmail Claudia for sex this week. Yawn. I know everyone is hating Robin right now. However, it is nice to see her do something naughty for a change. Quite frankly, she couldn't have picked a hotter guy to go bipolar on. I am becoming slightly preturbed at Maxie. She tells Spinelli that if he goes into hiding, she is going to sleep with Johnny. Now, I have invested my time relearning the workings of GH for this baby-supercouple. I agree that Maxie and Johnny are real HOT, but GH is good again because of Maxie and Spinelli. There is a silver lining....for Maxie.
Most Predictable GH Moment of the Year: Fake aussie is Luke's son and Lulu and Lucky's brother. When I read this, I almost wet myself with surprise. Oh, oh, no I didn't.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Word of the Day 3-20-09
The word of the day today is from AMC as a tribute to Reese's dream. "Lesbian"
"Lesbian" is a noun used to describe a woman whose sexual orientation is to women.
Sentence usage: "Now that Reese has had her enlightening dream, that dumb bitch says she's not a lesbian anymore!"
Once again, I am out!
"Lesbian" is a noun used to describe a woman whose sexual orientation is to women.
Sentence usage: "Now that Reese has had her enlightening dream, that dumb bitch says she's not a lesbian anymore!"
Once again, I am out!
Oh the drama! Friday sans Y&R (boo) 3-20-2009
Although Y&R was not aired today, my girl J called, like a gift from the soap gods, with spoilers that really made my day. As if the show isn't awesome already, now it looks as if Amber and Kevin might go on some type of crime spree with Amber as the unwilling damsel in distress as Kevin forces her at gun point to help him commit more robberies. Let the chaos begin!
As Sharon sinks deeper into the land of the loco, Phyllis and Nick are going to get in yet another fight over her. Is anyone else not surprised? Oh well. I hope Phyllis decides to get physical and takes an axe and tries to strike Sharon with it, only to miss and hitting Nick instead and taking his head clean off his neck. Just a thought.
The best spoiler of all: Katherine and Jill are about to have an old lady smackdown the likes of which we have never seen. I have seen a lot of shit go down between these bitches, so I am oh so excited to see what goes down when these ladies throw down!
AMC was almost a snooze fest but Kendall, Ryan, Zach, and Reese made it all worth watching. Kendall is going to have to make a choice between these guys soon and I have a prediction of what is to come. Kendall is going to pick Zach and Ryan will be devastated all over again. My girl J informs me that somehow I missed the eppy in which Zach confessed to Kendall that he wanted to do go sex crazy all over Reese. Zach sleeps with Reese, Kendall finds out, yada yada yada...
The most interesting thing about today's AMC was Reese's crazy twilight zone dream in which she was surrounded by people whom I believe to be her parents and some other crazies trying to convince her that she is not a lesbian. So of course, Zach is keeping vigile by her bedside when she wakes up and voila! she can see! As cheesy as it was, I was a little happy because now I don't have to watch Tamara Braun portray a blind woman badly.
Honorable Mention: I really enjoyed watching Erica and Kendall have their little heart to heart. It was nice to see Erica come out of her own bubble and pay attention to someone elses needs for a change.
OLTL was great today as Stacy put the clinch on Roxy with the mysterious baby daddy's daddy secret. I love Roxy's facial expression but I gotta wonder why her short ass doesn't just reach up there and punch Stacy in the nose or kick her in the shin or something! She is just a kid! That kind of behavior would make a girl like me snap. I am just saying. I am starting to become swayed by my girl J's opinion that the body in the bed is Spencer Truman. Predictions be damned! Here's a thought: If Spencer wakes up and he is just as crazy as he was before, and he falls in love with Stacy, they could get together and wreak havok across Llanview. Hhhmmm...
Christian and Layla are so cool! (no pun intended) I cannot believe that they didn't get down with some cold canoodling in the freezer. It's cliffhanger Friday! I can see it now:
Layla: "The only way we are going to survive is to huddle together and use our body heat to
keep eachother warm."
Christian: "Okay, but I think it would be better if we were completely naked in order to
maximize our warmness."
Layla: "Okay, if you really think so..."
Christian: "I do, bitch. Now get naked and lay the hell down."
The End
I only watched bits of pieces of GH today but from what I could gather, Jax and Carly have the disc that could expose Claudia for the lying scheming whore that she is. However, Carly told Jax that he would be silly to watch a DVD when his wife was standing naked before him. Jax concurred and they made love like springtime rabbits for the rest of the show.
Claudia and Sonny talked about the party. It was boring. Blah blah blah
Maxie and Spinelli are still the cutest thing on daytime in my opinion. Since they were boring today as well, I have no actual memory of what they discussed. Only that Maxie stroked his little ego and they kissed a lot. Good enough for me!
I have a ton of things to clean. I am out!
As Sharon sinks deeper into the land of the loco, Phyllis and Nick are going to get in yet another fight over her. Is anyone else not surprised? Oh well. I hope Phyllis decides to get physical and takes an axe and tries to strike Sharon with it, only to miss and hitting Nick instead and taking his head clean off his neck. Just a thought.
The best spoiler of all: Katherine and Jill are about to have an old lady smackdown the likes of which we have never seen. I have seen a lot of shit go down between these bitches, so I am oh so excited to see what goes down when these ladies throw down!
AMC was almost a snooze fest but Kendall, Ryan, Zach, and Reese made it all worth watching. Kendall is going to have to make a choice between these guys soon and I have a prediction of what is to come. Kendall is going to pick Zach and Ryan will be devastated all over again. My girl J informs me that somehow I missed the eppy in which Zach confessed to Kendall that he wanted to do go sex crazy all over Reese. Zach sleeps with Reese, Kendall finds out, yada yada yada...
The most interesting thing about today's AMC was Reese's crazy twilight zone dream in which she was surrounded by people whom I believe to be her parents and some other crazies trying to convince her that she is not a lesbian. So of course, Zach is keeping vigile by her bedside when she wakes up and voila! she can see! As cheesy as it was, I was a little happy because now I don't have to watch Tamara Braun portray a blind woman badly.
Honorable Mention: I really enjoyed watching Erica and Kendall have their little heart to heart. It was nice to see Erica come out of her own bubble and pay attention to someone elses needs for a change.
OLTL was great today as Stacy put the clinch on Roxy with the mysterious baby daddy's daddy secret. I love Roxy's facial expression but I gotta wonder why her short ass doesn't just reach up there and punch Stacy in the nose or kick her in the shin or something! She is just a kid! That kind of behavior would make a girl like me snap. I am just saying. I am starting to become swayed by my girl J's opinion that the body in the bed is Spencer Truman. Predictions be damned! Here's a thought: If Spencer wakes up and he is just as crazy as he was before, and he falls in love with Stacy, they could get together and wreak havok across Llanview. Hhhmmm...
Christian and Layla are so cool! (no pun intended) I cannot believe that they didn't get down with some cold canoodling in the freezer. It's cliffhanger Friday! I can see it now:
Layla: "The only way we are going to survive is to huddle together and use our body heat to
keep eachother warm."
Christian: "Okay, but I think it would be better if we were completely naked in order to
maximize our warmness."
Layla: "Okay, if you really think so..."
Christian: "I do, bitch. Now get naked and lay the hell down."
The End
I only watched bits of pieces of GH today but from what I could gather, Jax and Carly have the disc that could expose Claudia for the lying scheming whore that she is. However, Carly told Jax that he would be silly to watch a DVD when his wife was standing naked before him. Jax concurred and they made love like springtime rabbits for the rest of the show.
Claudia and Sonny talked about the party. It was boring. Blah blah blah
Maxie and Spinelli are still the cutest thing on daytime in my opinion. Since they were boring today as well, I have no actual memory of what they discussed. Only that Maxie stroked his little ego and they kissed a lot. Good enough for me!
I have a ton of things to clean. I am out!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Word of the Day 3-19-09
The first official word of the day is "amore". Alexis (GH) used it to while discussing love obviously.
The word "amore" means love in Italian. An old Italian translation is sviscirano.
Sentance Usage: I wish Cane was me amore!
Until next time...I am out!
The word "amore" means love in Italian. An old Italian translation is sviscirano.
Sentance Usage: I wish Cane was me amore!
Until next time...I am out!
Pre-emptions & So-So Scandals 3-19-09
I am pissed because I found out Monday that soaps would be pre-empted today and tomorrow and I was devastated. Of course, I totally forget about it and my life continues on and on. When I awoke this morning, I was excited to begin the day anew and anticipating the scandals that would befall me via soap operas when, my girl J calls me bright and early and reminds me that due to basketball, our show was not going to air today. DEVASTATION! I am hoping that our friend in France has posted some footage. Unless they watch American college basketball too. Hhhmm, I wonder. I must mention something that Jess reminded me of today. If Jill isn't Katherine's daughter, then Mac and Billy are not related. Then Jess tells me that they are bringing Mac back. NO! That spells doom and gloom for the girls currently filling Billy's super-sexin scorecard. Side Note: Mac is nothing compared to Sharon. Billy is all grown up, with grown up needs. I don't think Mac will be able to satisfy him for long, if she can land him in the first place.
Anyway...I was sitting here minding my own business and pondering the workings of the world because AMC was that boring, when suddenly, a vision appeared on my screen. Thorsten Kaye with short hair. It was delicious. He was delicious. Hair and Make-up! After this little treat I was swayed into paying more attention and after Greenlea's little video Ryan and Kendall had me almost convinced that they really thought that having sex while mourning was wrong. But alas! Kendall are Zach are hanging out when Zach leaves the room. Conveniently, Ryan comes to the door and when Kendall opens it, Ryan snatches her skinny little ass up and starts eating her face. Of course, as is the way of the soap, Zach walks in on the smootch. It was pretty hot, all and all. Reese is still annoying. Ryan and Jack hugged over Greenlea.
Annie deserves her own paragraph today as she fully filled her crazy quota. Crazy Patient: "You must really be in love with that guy!" Annie: "Aidan is my whole life" Zoom in on her crazy ass face and you've got yourself a set up for the next "Annie Goes Psycho" storyline that I am sure is looming in the horizon. Watching them kiss makes me wants to dry heave. Ugh.
After last nights OLTL eppy, I was to tired to blog. Now that I am fully rested, I want to discuss yesterdays and todays eppys simulteously. Rex really pulled at my heart strings yesterday in the church. I could almost believe that his tears were genuine. Cut to today's eppy, in which he busted out and shaved his head. Big improvement. Now, about those eyebrows... Nora really gave Marty the business yesterday but sadly disapointed me at the end when she hugged her. Damn I say! Cut to today's eppy, NO Marty. Nada. Nil. That just about makes it the best eppy of OLTL in recent years. As I told my girl J, the scarf that Marty had on yesterday would have been much cuter if it was tied so tight that it cut off Mary's breathing airways. I doubt J thought it was very funny. Or maybe she did?
My hatred for Stacy is slowly turning into some form of admiration. Can't say what form. I just know that her ability to scheme and lie is priceless in the land of soaps. For me, Stacy is making the show worth watching.
So, who is the daddy? Roxy is hiding Rex's bio dad and all is soon to be revealed. J says Spencer Truman. I think that a more likely candidate would be Bo. I suppose it is time to propose a friendly wager?
From now on, this blog will include The Soap Word of the Day. During my soap viewing, I will choose the best word used out of all the shows once or twice daily. I will include the definition and it use it in a sentence. I believe that it could be both fun and educational. I am out!
Anyway...I was sitting here minding my own business and pondering the workings of the world because AMC was that boring, when suddenly, a vision appeared on my screen. Thorsten Kaye with short hair. It was delicious. He was delicious. Hair and Make-up! After this little treat I was swayed into paying more attention and after Greenlea's little video Ryan and Kendall had me almost convinced that they really thought that having sex while mourning was wrong. But alas! Kendall are Zach are hanging out when Zach leaves the room. Conveniently, Ryan comes to the door and when Kendall opens it, Ryan snatches her skinny little ass up and starts eating her face. Of course, as is the way of the soap, Zach walks in on the smootch. It was pretty hot, all and all. Reese is still annoying. Ryan and Jack hugged over Greenlea.
Annie deserves her own paragraph today as she fully filled her crazy quota. Crazy Patient: "You must really be in love with that guy!" Annie: "Aidan is my whole life" Zoom in on her crazy ass face and you've got yourself a set up for the next "Annie Goes Psycho" storyline that I am sure is looming in the horizon. Watching them kiss makes me wants to dry heave. Ugh.
After last nights OLTL eppy, I was to tired to blog. Now that I am fully rested, I want to discuss yesterdays and todays eppys simulteously. Rex really pulled at my heart strings yesterday in the church. I could almost believe that his tears were genuine. Cut to today's eppy, in which he busted out and shaved his head. Big improvement. Now, about those eyebrows... Nora really gave Marty the business yesterday but sadly disapointed me at the end when she hugged her. Damn I say! Cut to today's eppy, NO Marty. Nada. Nil. That just about makes it the best eppy of OLTL in recent years. As I told my girl J, the scarf that Marty had on yesterday would have been much cuter if it was tied so tight that it cut off Mary's breathing airways. I doubt J thought it was very funny. Or maybe she did?
My hatred for Stacy is slowly turning into some form of admiration. Can't say what form. I just know that her ability to scheme and lie is priceless in the land of soaps. For me, Stacy is making the show worth watching.
So, who is the daddy? Roxy is hiding Rex's bio dad and all is soon to be revealed. J says Spencer Truman. I think that a more likely candidate would be Bo. I suppose it is time to propose a friendly wager?
From now on, this blog will include The Soap Word of the Day. During my soap viewing, I will choose the best word used out of all the shows once or twice daily. I will include the definition and it use it in a sentence. I believe that it could be both fun and educational. I am out!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sharon the Crazy 3-18-09
As much as I feel sorry for Sharon right now, she is making the show so great right now! I can see it now: Chloe catches Billy and Sharon making rug burn on the Abbott living room floor and goes psycho. Sharon would be dead as she is no match for little Chloe and Billy would be dead because she would have to kill him after that. Chloe and Jack ride off into the sunset together high fiving eachother. The End.
I am seriously going to need Kevin to snap the hell out of it. Locking a dead man in the closet and telling him "now you are going to stay in there until I say you can come out". Greg, when you do it, you do it well.
Word to the wise! Katherine is Katherine. Jill is Jill. Jill is not really Katherine's biological daughter. That is the only reasonable explanation for all these DNA shenanigans. Well, that is not really true, but I did say reasonable.
Heather to Adam: "I am glad you have been released" Adam to Heather: "Oh yeah, then why did you put me here?" Bitter, party of one, your table is ready!
Classic look of shock when Billy saw Sharon parking her loony ass back in the Abbott mansion. That look really said "WTF?!" And clueless Jack and Chloe are none the wiser....yet.
Oh snap! OLTL is on. Bye!
I am seriously going to need Kevin to snap the hell out of it. Locking a dead man in the closet and telling him "now you are going to stay in there until I say you can come out". Greg, when you do it, you do it well.
Word to the wise! Katherine is Katherine. Jill is Jill. Jill is not really Katherine's biological daughter. That is the only reasonable explanation for all these DNA shenanigans. Well, that is not really true, but I did say reasonable.
Heather to Adam: "I am glad you have been released" Adam to Heather: "Oh yeah, then why did you put me here?" Bitter, party of one, your table is ready!
Classic look of shock when Billy saw Sharon parking her loony ass back in the Abbott mansion. That look really said "WTF?!" And clueless Jack and Chloe are none the wiser....yet.
Oh snap! OLTL is on. Bye!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
OH! 3-17-09
I failed to mention something that deserves to be talked about earlier. Devon showed us a side of him that we haven't seen before. I thought it was unrealistic, but, I so appreciated the way he slammed Neil for having nightclub nookie with Tyra.
Note to Tyra: Please go to your nearest Salon! All that action you've got going on up there is completely unneccessary.
Note to Tyra: Please go to your nearest Salon! All that action you've got going on up there is completely unneccessary.
ABC = Whining 3-17-09
I had the opportunity to catch both yesterdays and todays eppys today. Here is what I know: I have the utmost respect for the great Tamara Braun. After watching todays episode of AMC, however, I want to rip her worthless eyes out of hear head, roll them around in broken glass and salt, and then cram them back into her face. Then, it might actually be worth listening to her whine. Speaking of whining. Jesse's girlfriend is one of the most annoying people I have ever seen. Kendall, please stop asking Ryan why you won't fight for Zach. How the hell is he supposed to know? I don't get why she wants Zach back when Ryan is ripe for the picking, but hey, whatever floats her skinny little boat.
I think it would be great if someone from OLTL would shoot Marty directly in the throat so she would just STOP talking. My God, I cannot take anymore. After watching today's full episode (sans Gigi, Rex, and whore, I mean Stacy) I was so sick of listening to Tea, I wished I was in jail just so I wouldn't have to listen to her anymore. Stick a fork in me, I am done.
GH! I rather enjoyed watching Claudia and Sonny do the shag nasty on the couch. It was a nice change from Stone Cold, She-nelli and Sam-Slut pulling guns on the bad guys to save Spinelli. I am not saying that I did not enjoy that little scene, I am just saying that hot sex beats hot sexy guys with guns any day. Is it just me, or are Sonny and Jax the only ones getting any play lately? I thought Lucky and Nickolas were going to throw down today. Evil Emily is causing quite the rift. But where the hell does Nickolas get off? He needs to seek some psychological help. One final note, why was Maxie-old-Belle making out with Lu-Lu's (the original blond skank) boyfriend? I missed something, obviously.
I think it would be great if someone from OLTL would shoot Marty directly in the throat so she would just STOP talking. My God, I cannot take anymore. After watching today's full episode (sans Gigi, Rex, and whore, I mean Stacy) I was so sick of listening to Tea, I wished I was in jail just so I wouldn't have to listen to her anymore. Stick a fork in me, I am done.
GH! I rather enjoyed watching Claudia and Sonny do the shag nasty on the couch. It was a nice change from Stone Cold, She-nelli and Sam-Slut pulling guns on the bad guys to save Spinelli. I am not saying that I did not enjoy that little scene, I am just saying that hot sex beats hot sexy guys with guns any day. Is it just me, or are Sonny and Jax the only ones getting any play lately? I thought Lucky and Nickolas were going to throw down today. Evil Emily is causing quite the rift. But where the hell does Nickolas get off? He needs to seek some psychological help. One final note, why was Maxie-old-Belle making out with Lu-Lu's (the original blond skank) boyfriend? I missed something, obviously.
Wow Y&R 3-17-09
I was very impresssed with Sharon today but she was, as usual, quick to disapoint. Just once I wish she would haul off and bitch slap Phyllis. Problem is, Sharon would probobly then proceed to get her ass whooped. Moral of the story children: don't have affairs with people who had affairs on you. Obviously, lesson not learned. Let's talk about Adam. What a narly little pair he has! For someone who worked for everything he has, he is oh so demanding. However, I appreciate the great Hope flashbacks from back in the day.
Chloe is my new hero. A nice swift kick to the balls would help any man be a better fiance and father. For this, I am now 100% team Chloe.
The show was so good today, I have very little to say in the negative. Jack, I love you...Men that are willing to accept whoring as a condition of a relationship do not come around that often. In the soap world, that makes him a keeper! I'm out!
Chloe is my new hero. A nice swift kick to the balls would help any man be a better fiance and father. For this, I am now 100% team Chloe.
The show was so good today, I have very little to say in the negative. Jack, I love you...Men that are willing to accept whoring as a condition of a relationship do not come around that often. In the soap world, that makes him a keeper! I'm out!
Wedding Anniversary Debacle
So, this has nothing to with soaps. Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. However, I feel the need to vent....My husband went to sleep after playing video games for hours. Then I finally get his ass up to go shopping or do something. He acts like it is a pain in his ass. So we go shopping and he keeps up his portrayal of the "biggest loser" by sighing heavily and going to look at the toys because I was looking at housewares. So I tell him "fuck it lets go home". He happily obliges. When we got home, he invites one of his friends over who stays for two hours. My husband and I were at least going to attempt some type of romantic interlude (if you can call it that), however, before his friend even walked out the door, he was asleep. When I woke up this morning, guess what? Video games again. What a fucking shock. The point of the story is, it took this wedding anniversary to show me how incompatible he and I really are.
Monday, March 16, 2009
ABC Soaps Fridays Eppys
Okay, first things first...OLTL...Jessica plus Brody equals HOT! It's about time, right? Stacy is more than your average whore-slut-boyfriend stealing-bitch! She is a woman out for some serious revenge. But I wonder, is Rex really such an idiot? First the eyebrows, now this. Sorry about the leukemia diagnosis, but I am even more sorry that Farah Fath overacted to the point where I didn't feel sorry for her, I just wanted her gone. If I have to look at Starr slob all over Mr. Naughty Teacher anymore, I might be ill. How is that okay? And one last note...could somebody please stab Marty in the back, ala psycho style? That bitch summoned the strength to pick up a car to save the son that she hasn't even noticed? Here's a thought....it would have been way better story if the car had suddenly fallen on Marty and Cole, killing them both.
I feel that AMC deserves an honorable mention for being the most boring show on the planet besides Wheel of Fortune. There, I mentioned it.
GH fans, Spinelli is so sweet. He tells Maxie this: "I excerted my manly prowess. I attacked one of the evil-doers." Maxie says: "And then what happened?" Spinelli looks at the ground and responds: "Well, he threw me up against the wall, crash test dummy style." Classic. Which leads me to Robin. I wish someone would smash her head up against the wall. How does a doctor not recognize the signs of postpartum? Never mind that, how does her doctor husband remain in denial? Because it's in the script.
I have a theory. I believe that the Fake Aussie Bartender is going to end up being Jax junior. Just a guess. Who's the mommy? Maybe Brenda....Toodles!
I feel that AMC deserves an honorable mention for being the most boring show on the planet besides Wheel of Fortune. There, I mentioned it.
GH fans, Spinelli is so sweet. He tells Maxie this: "I excerted my manly prowess. I attacked one of the evil-doers." Maxie says: "And then what happened?" Spinelli looks at the ground and responds: "Well, he threw me up against the wall, crash test dummy style." Classic. Which leads me to Robin. I wish someone would smash her head up against the wall. How does a doctor not recognize the signs of postpartum? Never mind that, how does her doctor husband remain in denial? Because it's in the script.
I have a theory. I believe that the Fake Aussie Bartender is going to end up being Jax junior. Just a guess. Who's the mommy? Maybe Brenda....Toodles!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Billy Abbott, 3/16/09
I just had the opportunity to watch a little of tomorrow's eppy. In what world is it okay for a man to treat my favorite soap heroine like a common whore, and that man still be completely and utterly the sexiest thing breathing? In my world! So, he stops nailing Sharon long enough to go play "daddy" to Delia. Somehow, I find this completley acceptable! However, little does he know that the Sharon gravy train is coming to an end...thank you Phyllis. Hhhmmm, I ponder who she will sleep with now? Not many fish left in the genoa city pool, but as we can see, Sharon isn't ashamed to take or be someone's sloppy seconds. Having said all that, Billy and Sharon (or just Sharon) is the hottest thing ever! How can something so right be so wrong?
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