We all love spoilers, me included; therefore, I have a few gems to share with you on this fine Saturday evening:
Y&R:
As Paul gets closer to learning the truth about Mary Jane, she will file charges against him for stalking. I'm going to need her to let me know how that works out for her. Mac will confess her true feelings for Billy and kiss him. Nina will question Cane about his past, he will panic, and he will call Phillip III/Langley. Ashley will fall down the stairs after catching Adam being Sabrina. She will lose the baby. After, she will remember that it was Adam that she saw, but Adam will convince her that it is all in her head. Victoria will be all over Adam like white on rice. Agent Fake FBI will get murdered and Daniel will be the main suspect. Yawn. I am pretty sure we've been down this road before. Cane's lies will be exposed and Lily will leave him. I am sure it will not be permanent. After Nick announces that he no longer wants to be with Phyllis, Sharon rejects him. She will try to convince all involved that she and Jack are committed to working things out and raising the maybe-baby together. Phyllis will confront Nick about the status of their marriage. He will confess his true feelings for Sharon and ask for a divorce regardless of who Sharon chooses to be with. Phyllis will be devastated and as I blogged about recently, will go to Jack for support. They will have sex. Billy will tell Chloe about his trysts with Sharon and the maybe-baby.
B&B:
Stephanie's plan to take over Forrester Creations will backfire when Bill Jr. says he won't sell to her if he happens to acquire it. Bill has proof that Eric has been involved in some shady business dealings and he tells Stephanie that he plans to use it to get control of FC. Stephanie, realizing the mess that she has caused, will run to Eric and reveal all. They will bond, but who knows where it will go. Eric and Stephanie will team up to stop Bill. Owen and Nick will come to almost-blows after Nick learns that Owen moved in with Jackie. Jackie will stop him and send Nick on his merry way and then proceed to make cougar love to Owen all over Nick's desk. Ew.
FYI: Bold and the Beautiful has finally, after all these years, been extended to an hour. There is a God.
AMC: I have very little. I have posted some spoilers for this week in a recent blog so travel back a few pages and read up! I do know that Babe2 will come back this week in ghost form. Here's hoping that when she returns to the dark side, she takes Marissa with her.
OLTL: Brody will get into Nash's parents house in one piece, but he won't be able to get Jess to overpower the rest of her innerbeings. Bo will figure out all and he and a mob of police will surround Nash's parents house. Bess will take Chloe hostage to avoid arrest. Viki's alter ego, Jean Randolph, will be the only one to get Bess to listen to reason and Viki will pretend to be her to get through to Jessica. Jessica will learn the truth and remember that her baby is actually dead. Todd and Blair's truce will come to a screeching halt. Marty will confess her true feelings for McPain.
FYI: Forbes March had joined the cast of ATWT and will be mostly seen with Noah. Could this mean that old-Nash will be gay?
FYI x2: Catherine Hickland is returning! yay!
GH: Luke will leave town. We all know this because he leaves every summer, for obvious reasons. Lulu will spy Ethan with Nu-old Emily/Rebecca and ponder the connection. Nikolas and Emily will FINALLY have sex. Morgan will ask Michael to move back in to Carly's so they can be closer to each other. Carly and Sonny will come to an agreement on the living arrangements. Carly will most likely pack up and move in with Sonny and Claudia. Olivia will tell Sonny her suspicions about Claudia. Funny, I was pretty sure she knew the truth. Michael is pissed at Robyn and will be quite vocal about it. New Kristina will finally make her appearance this week.
FYI: Billy Dee Williams reprises his role as Toussaint this week!
That's all I got. I hope this tides you over until Monday....
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Catastrophic Cliffhangers 5-30-09
Yesterday's eppy of Y&R was stressful. That is the only word I can use to describe it. Phyllis was stressed as she quickly realized that Nick was getting ready to bounce on her and Summer to be with Sharon and the maybe-baby. Nick spit out some bull about how he didn't want to hurt her and Phyllis responded by saying "That's sweet of you. You should have thought about that." I agree! Nick is driven by his next "sperm elimination", so everything Phyllis screeched at him flew right over his product contaminated head. Phyllis finally resorted to begging Nick. Nick's penis pointed to the West and he was off to locate her, leaving Phyllis to seek out Jack. Over at the Abbott mansion, Sharon and Jack were "mending" their shattered relationship. Tranlation: Sharon led Jack on while Jack talked about the future. As soon as she could, Sharon ran to Restless Style to hook up with Nick and hook up they did! Nick told Sharon that he was divorcing the Red Headed She-Devil Phyllis and that he wanted to be with her. The conversation that she had with The Vein only moments before flew out the window and Sharon and Nick proceeded to attack one another like 2 wilderbeasts in the plains during mating season. Ashley continues to actually lose it and The Moustache and Dr. Fix it All (Olivia) are becoming quite concerned. Ashley went off on Dr. Fix when she suggested that Ash see a psychiatrist. Victoria and J.T. were actually present during this episode; however, they were busy playing mystery busters and J.T. did NOT take off his shirt. But, they did go to Adam's room and after discovering that the door was locked, promptly broke on in. Adam was off reaping havoc upon Ashley's psyche but quickly covered when he returned with a bottle of vintage vino from the Moustache Manor basement. That same bottle of vino is going to get his ass busted. When The Moustache went to question The Blind One about his recent activities, he noticed the vino and mentioned that is was a classic wine. I saw the the light bulb go off in his head when he realized that Adam must have been able to read the label in order to select such a fine choice. Adam even asked The Moustache to join him for a drink of his own sh*t. I was a little surprised by that, but not so surprised when Victor declined his offer.
B&B upset me with its stupidity yesterday. Eric called an emergency meeting and asked everyone to come up with a plan to stop Bill from taking over Forrester Creations. Donna very dramatically busted out with "There's only one way to save this company!" which was followed by Eric saying "Well if you know of a way to save this company, it is your duty to tell us. Just tell us Skeletor." Ok. He didn't say Skeletor, but I sure wish he would. Anyway, what the hell is Skeletor going to do, tell everyone that she can save the company if she bangs the Ass God (Bill)? Gah! That doesn't even have a modicum of reality to it. The Saggy Sailor (Nick) and The Rug (Bridget) had sex throughout the show. I wish my DVR wasn't broken because I wanted to fast forward so bad the tips of my fingers were throbbing. Stephanie walked around L.A. talking smack to anyone who had the balls to talk to her. She is riding high on her new found freedom and I cannot say that I blame her. Bill thinks he's got something on her, but I fear that he is mistaken. The Ass God decided that he wants payback for all the shenanigans he has helped The Battle Ax (Stephanie) pull. I ponder if he'll ever get it.
OLTL was full of tear jerkers as Todd, Skankbrook, and Ms. Southern Belle Reject (Blair) dropped the baby bomb to Cole and Starr. Cole and Starr were ecstatic and showed their emotions by hugging on one another. Jbo and I were discussing this scene and we both decided that it would have been better if they would have had "our baby is alive" sex right there on the couch, regardless of which parental units were in the room. McPain dropped the bomb to Marcy and Michael. Then we had to listen to Marcy whine and scream about "her" baby. Just leave already! The Smarmy Pimp called Stacy the Skank that if she didn't give him his money her life was going to "go up in smoke". Rex walked in and the Skank whined about the money. Rex whipped out a duffle bag full of cash and offered to save the day. Stacy went on and on about how grateful she was and how she knows that their is a deeper meaning to Rex's assistance. Rex then got the idea in his head that he could trick the Smarmy Pimp somehow and headed off to the park to meet the pimp, sans cash. Stacy called the pimp and told him to hurry up and come over while Rex was gone. When he arrived, Stacy handed over the duffle bag and then asked the pimp to do her a favor. Meanwhile, Gigi and Schyler somehow got lab clearance and realized that the DNA tests showed that Stacy was a perfect match for Shane's. Schyler realized that it must be rigged somehow and he and Gigi pondered who could have been helping the Skank. Schyler put 1 and 1 together and realized that it was Hot Ass Kyle who was helping the Skank with her dirty deeds. Kyle then tricked some random guy into leaving the presence of the lab computer and Kyle did a little test tampering. Bess/Tess/Jess/Lochness spied on Nash's parents while they watched Viki's press conference on television. Nash's father wanted to call the police so J/B/T/L practically flew down the stairs and proceeded to weasle her way out of the po po call by making Nash's idiot parents feel sorry for her. Brody spent most of this episode questioning the car salesman and searching for J/B/T/L. At the end, Brody arrived at Nash's parents and.....Nothing. And that's why it's called Cliffhanger Friday folks!
Over in Port Charles, Carly's pregnancy libido was kickin into high gear, but Jax shot her down saying he didn't want to hurt her or the baby. But hurt her he did! Over at the hospital, Claudia and Jason were arguing and Sonny walked in and interrupted them telling them to save it for another day. As the three mobsters were visiting with Michael, Sonny stared on in a mix of shock and horror as Michael and Claudia the Clingy bonded big time. Ethan and Luke sat around chit chattin and taking shots. Robin, wearing a very cute little top, questioned Holly about her reasons for telling Ethan that Scorpio was his dad and therefore her brother. Maxie returned from her latest Crimson venture and made a bee line for Spinelli. He was not shy about his shock that she was faithful and behaved herself while she was gone. Then, they ran off to go extract data from Kate's stolen blackberry. This is all I've got because my son forced me to change the channel to Yo Gabba Gabba. Go figure figure.
Peace out my chicas. Spoiler blog will be posted later!
B&B upset me with its stupidity yesterday. Eric called an emergency meeting and asked everyone to come up with a plan to stop Bill from taking over Forrester Creations. Donna very dramatically busted out with "There's only one way to save this company!" which was followed by Eric saying "Well if you know of a way to save this company, it is your duty to tell us. Just tell us Skeletor." Ok. He didn't say Skeletor, but I sure wish he would. Anyway, what the hell is Skeletor going to do, tell everyone that she can save the company if she bangs the Ass God (Bill)? Gah! That doesn't even have a modicum of reality to it. The Saggy Sailor (Nick) and The Rug (Bridget) had sex throughout the show. I wish my DVR wasn't broken because I wanted to fast forward so bad the tips of my fingers were throbbing. Stephanie walked around L.A. talking smack to anyone who had the balls to talk to her. She is riding high on her new found freedom and I cannot say that I blame her. Bill thinks he's got something on her, but I fear that he is mistaken. The Ass God decided that he wants payback for all the shenanigans he has helped The Battle Ax (Stephanie) pull. I ponder if he'll ever get it.
OLTL was full of tear jerkers as Todd, Skankbrook, and Ms. Southern Belle Reject (Blair) dropped the baby bomb to Cole and Starr. Cole and Starr were ecstatic and showed their emotions by hugging on one another. Jbo and I were discussing this scene and we both decided that it would have been better if they would have had "our baby is alive" sex right there on the couch, regardless of which parental units were in the room. McPain dropped the bomb to Marcy and Michael. Then we had to listen to Marcy whine and scream about "her" baby. Just leave already! The Smarmy Pimp called Stacy the Skank that if she didn't give him his money her life was going to "go up in smoke". Rex walked in and the Skank whined about the money. Rex whipped out a duffle bag full of cash and offered to save the day. Stacy went on and on about how grateful she was and how she knows that their is a deeper meaning to Rex's assistance. Rex then got the idea in his head that he could trick the Smarmy Pimp somehow and headed off to the park to meet the pimp, sans cash. Stacy called the pimp and told him to hurry up and come over while Rex was gone. When he arrived, Stacy handed over the duffle bag and then asked the pimp to do her a favor. Meanwhile, Gigi and Schyler somehow got lab clearance and realized that the DNA tests showed that Stacy was a perfect match for Shane's. Schyler realized that it must be rigged somehow and he and Gigi pondered who could have been helping the Skank. Schyler put 1 and 1 together and realized that it was Hot Ass Kyle who was helping the Skank with her dirty deeds. Kyle then tricked some random guy into leaving the presence of the lab computer and Kyle did a little test tampering. Bess/Tess/Jess/Lochness spied on Nash's parents while they watched Viki's press conference on television. Nash's father wanted to call the police so J/B/T/L practically flew down the stairs and proceeded to weasle her way out of the po po call by making Nash's idiot parents feel sorry for her. Brody spent most of this episode questioning the car salesman and searching for J/B/T/L. At the end, Brody arrived at Nash's parents and.....Nothing. And that's why it's called Cliffhanger Friday folks!
Over in Port Charles, Carly's pregnancy libido was kickin into high gear, but Jax shot her down saying he didn't want to hurt her or the baby. But hurt her he did! Over at the hospital, Claudia and Jason were arguing and Sonny walked in and interrupted them telling them to save it for another day. As the three mobsters were visiting with Michael, Sonny stared on in a mix of shock and horror as Michael and Claudia the Clingy bonded big time. Ethan and Luke sat around chit chattin and taking shots. Robin, wearing a very cute little top, questioned Holly about her reasons for telling Ethan that Scorpio was his dad and therefore her brother. Maxie returned from her latest Crimson venture and made a bee line for Spinelli. He was not shy about his shock that she was faithful and behaved herself while she was gone. Then, they ran off to go extract data from Kate's stolen blackberry. This is all I've got because my son forced me to change the channel to Yo Gabba Gabba. Go figure figure.
Peace out my chicas. Spoiler blog will be posted later!
Friday, May 29, 2009
The Top 10 Reasons To Watch Soaps: Gigi and Jbo
Jbo and I decided that too many people lack the appreciation for the greatness of Soap Operas. Therefore, we compiled a list of what we believe are the top 10 reasons to watch soaps. They are as follows:
10. "The Moustache
Victor Newman and Jack Abbott hate one another. We all know that. But only true fans will know that Jack's little term of endearment for Victor,"The Moustache", goes back decades.
9. Split Personalities
Split personalities are quite common on soaps. However, No one does it better than OLTL's Bree Williamson. Bree portrays Bess, Tess, and Jess, all of whom are intertwined and have creepy conversations with one another. They even have their own individual fashion sense!
8.Spinelli Speak
Never in daytime has there been a code name king of Spinelli's caliber. I know I get a laugh! I'm sure the "Dark Knight", "Stone Cold", "Maximista", and the "Original Blond One" all do as well. Jbo and I did notice that Luke has his own code names for everyone....Maybe Spin is Luke's son too!
7. Who's Your Daddy Plotlines
Baby daddy drama is a constant on soaps. I think we all got used to the same old same old when it comes to this predictable storyline. Sharon Case showed us how lack of birth control during a manic swing can destroy half of a whole town and one of the most loved couples in daytime.
6. Long Lost Relatives
As unrealistic as these storylines are, they are one of the only avenues that Soap people can use to bring in new actors and old actors that are playing new versions of their old characters. We get that. So I have to ask: Was it really necessary for AMC to come up with this whole convoluted Krystal/Babe/Marissa storyline just to bring in the actress that plays Marissa? If you ask me, she likes like a toy dog of some kind.
5. Dopplegangers and Resurrections:
There are other methods of bringing back old actors as new characters, or just to have a crazy evil twin storyline. Take the case of Adam/Stuart. Stuart was killed so that David Canary could slow down and get better. Now, we will be subjected to annoying Whodunnit brewhaha for months....Victor Newman, Sheila Carter, & Stephano Dimera are examples of people who have been, on more that 2 occasions, have died so that their portrayer can work on other projects. When the actor is ready to return...BOOM...instant "Resurrection".
4. Serial Killers and Long Drawn Out Murder Mysteries
These two go hand in hand on soaps. OLTL fans have just been released from the grips of the KAD Killer Storyline. Powell broke out of the loony bin to reap havoc upon Todd for raping Marty and not accepting responsibility for his part in the crime. Powell did manage to stir up some dust in Llanview before being killed by John McPain.
3. Padded Cells
No soap opera set is exempt for the dreaded "padded cell" set. Whether the contraption is being used via mental hospital or via some sort of love dungeon is and always will be anybody's guess.
2. Cake Fights
We have all come to know and love our catfights and Katherine and Jill have been going at it since Central Park was a grass seed. After discovering that Katherine was not her mother after all, Jill crashed the wedding of Chloe and Billy and started to spew her venom at Katherine. After taking all she could, Katherine screamed out: "Forgive Me Chloe!" and then promptly removed a huge hunk of wedding cake and shoved it in Jill's face. This wedding will go down in history as the Cake Fight Debacle.
And *drum roll* last but not least:
1. Hot Sex: A Must in Natural Disasters and other Random Tragedies
I think we can all agree that soaps are like porn for chics. Having said that, regardless of how entertaining we may find it to be, these storylines take the cake in being the most ridiculous! The top two Natural Disaster Sex Addicts choices are:
Ryan Lavery: Ryan tends to get needy during bad weather. He needs a lot of coddling, holding, and humping.
Nicholas Newman: Nick will use anything, including his daughter Cassie's tragic death, to get a piece of ass. It is a proven fact.
Let me and jbo2231 what you think about our choices for top 10. I am always interested in what others have to say...If you have a top 10 idea, please share! You know where to find me....
10. "The Moustache
Victor Newman and Jack Abbott hate one another. We all know that. But only true fans will know that Jack's little term of endearment for Victor,"The Moustache", goes back decades.
9. Split Personalities
Split personalities are quite common on soaps. However, No one does it better than OLTL's Bree Williamson. Bree portrays Bess, Tess, and Jess, all of whom are intertwined and have creepy conversations with one another. They even have their own individual fashion sense!
8.Spinelli Speak
Never in daytime has there been a code name king of Spinelli's caliber. I know I get a laugh! I'm sure the "Dark Knight", "Stone Cold", "Maximista", and the "Original Blond One" all do as well. Jbo and I did notice that Luke has his own code names for everyone....Maybe Spin is Luke's son too!
7. Who's Your Daddy Plotlines
Baby daddy drama is a constant on soaps. I think we all got used to the same old same old when it comes to this predictable storyline. Sharon Case showed us how lack of birth control during a manic swing can destroy half of a whole town and one of the most loved couples in daytime.
6. Long Lost Relatives
As unrealistic as these storylines are, they are one of the only avenues that Soap people can use to bring in new actors and old actors that are playing new versions of their old characters. We get that. So I have to ask: Was it really necessary for AMC to come up with this whole convoluted Krystal/Babe/Marissa storyline just to bring in the actress that plays Marissa? If you ask me, she likes like a toy dog of some kind.
5. Dopplegangers and Resurrections:
There are other methods of bringing back old actors as new characters, or just to have a crazy evil twin storyline. Take the case of Adam/Stuart. Stuart was killed so that David Canary could slow down and get better. Now, we will be subjected to annoying Whodunnit brewhaha for months....Victor Newman, Sheila Carter, & Stephano Dimera are examples of people who have been, on more that 2 occasions, have died so that their portrayer can work on other projects. When the actor is ready to return...BOOM...instant "Resurrection".
4. Serial Killers and Long Drawn Out Murder Mysteries
These two go hand in hand on soaps. OLTL fans have just been released from the grips of the KAD Killer Storyline. Powell broke out of the loony bin to reap havoc upon Todd for raping Marty and not accepting responsibility for his part in the crime. Powell did manage to stir up some dust in Llanview before being killed by John McPain.
3. Padded Cells
No soap opera set is exempt for the dreaded "padded cell" set. Whether the contraption is being used via mental hospital or via some sort of love dungeon is and always will be anybody's guess.
2. Cake Fights
We have all come to know and love our catfights and Katherine and Jill have been going at it since Central Park was a grass seed. After discovering that Katherine was not her mother after all, Jill crashed the wedding of Chloe and Billy and started to spew her venom at Katherine. After taking all she could, Katherine screamed out: "Forgive Me Chloe!" and then promptly removed a huge hunk of wedding cake and shoved it in Jill's face. This wedding will go down in history as the Cake Fight Debacle.
And *drum roll* last but not least:
1. Hot Sex: A Must in Natural Disasters and other Random Tragedies
I think we can all agree that soaps are like porn for chics. Having said that, regardless of how entertaining we may find it to be, these storylines take the cake in being the most ridiculous! The top two Natural Disaster Sex Addicts choices are:
Ryan Lavery: Ryan tends to get needy during bad weather. He needs a lot of coddling, holding, and humping.
Nicholas Newman: Nick will use anything, including his daughter Cassie's tragic death, to get a piece of ass. It is a proven fact.
Let me and jbo2231 what you think about our choices for top 10. I am always interested in what others have to say...If you have a top 10 idea, please share! You know where to find me....
The Vein Against the World 5-29-09
This blog is coming a little late because I am a very busy woman. Regardless, Y&R was so good I'm going to need for you to listen to me bitch anyway. The episode started with more bonding between Phyllis and The Vein. The conversation was the same old same old, but the tears were genuine and I was torn! While telling her tales of woe, Phyllis told Jack that she loved Nick more than any man that she had ever loved. Here's a point. I think The Vein is running out of places in his back to STAB. Phyllis quickly realized the error of her ways, but it was too late. The Vein unleashed the tears and it was all over after that. He hooked up with Sharon and before she confess her brother bangin' ways, he confessed that he was already aware. Of course, The Vein kept all his anger inside and tried to assure Sharon that he was all about her and the baby. Nick showed up at Restless Style to "talk" to Phyllis and gently broke the baby news. Phyllis, god love her, even made me believe she was surprised by the news. She cried and Nick got that dumb ass look on his face that he gets every time he is in "trouble". We were also subjected to much talk about "Cassie's Prophecies". I could tell even Sharon Case felt like an idiot everytime she had to say it. Ashley woke up in agony and The Moustache called an ambulance. While they waited for it to arrive, Adam took it upon himself to offer his help in the event that anyone would want or need it. After she was rushed to the hospital, Ashley got the all clear from the doctors. Just when this appeared to be yet another Ashley false alarm, Adam somehow managed to slip out of the window, go the hospital, and slipped a Sabrina-esque photo album into Ashley's purse. She found it, freaked out, and The Moustache was "astounded" at the convenient arrival of the book. J.T. and Victoria were on. That needs to happen for often! (sans Victoria)
3 Key Points about this eppy:
1. Even Devon thinks Tyra is a skank.
2. Abby's side ponytail was a scary throwback to the late 80's.
3. Lily robbed Tyra at gun point and stole her weave.
Short Spoiler: Ashley will start a conversation with the Sabrina statue. I'll be damned if the cement bitch isn't going to talk back!
On B&B, Thomas and Rick got into an almost-brawl which was, of course, broken up by Ridge and the rest of the parental figures. Thomas did get in a good one: "Your family is a joke!" Yes Thomas, and we are ALL laughing. Brooke stuck up for Rick. Ridge and Taylor stuck up for Thomas. Taylor tried to convince Ridge to be with her some more, he continued to be convinced some more. Ridge argued with Brooke and came very close to spilling the marriage isn't legal beans. Nick and Bridget made me sick as Nick tried to do Bridget on the stairs and she told him she would rather talk. OK. I would rather they both die. That's just me. Stephanie somehow made her way to Brooke and spit out this little ditty: "What's the matter Brooke, did I hurt your feelings?"
Spoilers: Stephanie and Bill will soon butt heads. Um. I knew it was too good to last. Nick will warn Owen to stay away from Jackie. Owen will then high tail it over to Jackie for a booty call. Then, to make matters worse, Jackie and Owen will move into together. Eric and Stephanie will have a "moment" which will be witnessed by Donna. Bill will go to new lengths to get with Donna. My only question? What's Skeletor have that I don't have?
On AMC, J.R. and Scott discussed the guilt that Scott is harboring over Stuart's death. Kendall called Red-Liza a bitch. Then she got arrested. During this debacle, Ryan was on the other side of town, letting Erica blame him for the world's problems. After getting wind of Kendall's arrest, Erica went to Jesse and told him to arrest her little ass too. He didn't. Jake and Amanda bonded over the baby some more. At Stuart's funeral, Red Liza showed up and Colby called her a murderer and told her to leave. J.R. stuck up for her and told Colby to shut her whining trap. Those were not his exact words. During the funeral Tad got up and started singing, then the rest of the town started singing as well. Not only did I feel like I was in the twilight zone, but I also felt a little nauseated. Scott had some flashbacks of close moments between himself and Stuart. Looks like Amanda was about to go into labor. Erica confronted Red-Liza about her role in Kendall's arrest. For a hot second, I thought Erica was going to grab a stack of phone books to stand on and then promptly punch Red-Liza in the face. Alas....
Spoilers: Krystal will seek out Tad's assistance. Red-Liza will continue to look guilty. Ryan will confront Annie. Colby will accuse Red-Liza of murdering Stuart. Jake will hatch a scheme in order to pull a fast one over on David. Krystal will accuse David of Stuart's murder. She will tell Marissa to steer clear of him. Red-Liza and David will form an allicance.
On OLTL, Blair came insanely close to telling Starr that Hope was alive. Christian and Layla had some scenes involving some ugly ass art. All I heard was "blah blah blah blah blah". Michael and Marcy were still trying to get information from the funeral home who gave him the brush off. Cole and Skankbrook continued to bond over her refreshed memory. It really irritated me that Skankbrook kept looking at Cole's mouth when he talked. On soaps, that can only mean one thing....Todd and Viki discussed the arrival of Bess and Todd appeared to care. He eventually showed his true colors by staking claim to the child. Bess/Tess/Jess/Lochness argued out in the open in a public place in the middle of the daytime. No one found that strange? Bess finally arrived at the Parents Nash and announced to them that Nash was dead and that Chloe was their grandchild. After viewing Nash's parents in action, I found myself pondering if they had some serious mental issues of their own.
That is seriously all I got. I'm going to need myself to go to sleep. Peace!
3 Key Points about this eppy:
1. Even Devon thinks Tyra is a skank.
2. Abby's side ponytail was a scary throwback to the late 80's.
3. Lily robbed Tyra at gun point and stole her weave.
Short Spoiler: Ashley will start a conversation with the Sabrina statue. I'll be damned if the cement bitch isn't going to talk back!
On B&B, Thomas and Rick got into an almost-brawl which was, of course, broken up by Ridge and the rest of the parental figures. Thomas did get in a good one: "Your family is a joke!" Yes Thomas, and we are ALL laughing. Brooke stuck up for Rick. Ridge and Taylor stuck up for Thomas. Taylor tried to convince Ridge to be with her some more, he continued to be convinced some more. Ridge argued with Brooke and came very close to spilling the marriage isn't legal beans. Nick and Bridget made me sick as Nick tried to do Bridget on the stairs and she told him she would rather talk. OK. I would rather they both die. That's just me. Stephanie somehow made her way to Brooke and spit out this little ditty: "What's the matter Brooke, did I hurt your feelings?"
Spoilers: Stephanie and Bill will soon butt heads. Um. I knew it was too good to last. Nick will warn Owen to stay away from Jackie. Owen will then high tail it over to Jackie for a booty call. Then, to make matters worse, Jackie and Owen will move into together. Eric and Stephanie will have a "moment" which will be witnessed by Donna. Bill will go to new lengths to get with Donna. My only question? What's Skeletor have that I don't have?
On AMC, J.R. and Scott discussed the guilt that Scott is harboring over Stuart's death. Kendall called Red-Liza a bitch. Then she got arrested. During this debacle, Ryan was on the other side of town, letting Erica blame him for the world's problems. After getting wind of Kendall's arrest, Erica went to Jesse and told him to arrest her little ass too. He didn't. Jake and Amanda bonded over the baby some more. At Stuart's funeral, Red Liza showed up and Colby called her a murderer and told her to leave. J.R. stuck up for her and told Colby to shut her whining trap. Those were not his exact words. During the funeral Tad got up and started singing, then the rest of the town started singing as well. Not only did I feel like I was in the twilight zone, but I also felt a little nauseated. Scott had some flashbacks of close moments between himself and Stuart. Looks like Amanda was about to go into labor. Erica confronted Red-Liza about her role in Kendall's arrest. For a hot second, I thought Erica was going to grab a stack of phone books to stand on and then promptly punch Red-Liza in the face. Alas....
Spoilers: Krystal will seek out Tad's assistance. Red-Liza will continue to look guilty. Ryan will confront Annie. Colby will accuse Red-Liza of murdering Stuart. Jake will hatch a scheme in order to pull a fast one over on David. Krystal will accuse David of Stuart's murder. She will tell Marissa to steer clear of him. Red-Liza and David will form an allicance.
On OLTL, Blair came insanely close to telling Starr that Hope was alive. Christian and Layla had some scenes involving some ugly ass art. All I heard was "blah blah blah blah blah". Michael and Marcy were still trying to get information from the funeral home who gave him the brush off. Cole and Skankbrook continued to bond over her refreshed memory. It really irritated me that Skankbrook kept looking at Cole's mouth when he talked. On soaps, that can only mean one thing....Todd and Viki discussed the arrival of Bess and Todd appeared to care. He eventually showed his true colors by staking claim to the child. Bess/Tess/Jess/Lochness argued out in the open in a public place in the middle of the daytime. No one found that strange? Bess finally arrived at the Parents Nash and announced to them that Nash was dead and that Chloe was their grandchild. After viewing Nash's parents in action, I found myself pondering if they had some serious mental issues of their own.
That is seriously all I got. I'm going to need myself to go to sleep. Peace!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Oh Morris! 5-27-09
Y&R was business as usual today. If the business is SCANDAL! It is quickly dawning on Jill that she really is in financial trouble and she went to ask Jack for a "bail out". Jack, still reeling over the Sharon and Billy news, told Jill that she has had her chance to play nice and to go "Ask the Moustache for help!" Jill made a bee line for Billy Bad Ass and upon finding him, asked him to talk to Jack for her. Billy semi-confessed to Jill about the current goings on telling her that this time "it's bad." Bad? Um. Correction. SCANDALOUS! Cut to Gloria and Jeffrey, who also realize that they are in dire need of some financial assistance. Their debt ever increasing, Jeffrey and Gloria went to Phyllis and asked her if they could rent the penthouse. I had to give Gloria an A for effort. She tried to quickly glaze over the fact that she and her hubby Jeffrey would be lacking in the 1st and last months rent. Phyllis is no dummy as we all know, and she told the broke ass couple that she would be doing things by the book. Gloria quickly covered again, assuring Phyllis that they would be more than willing to do things right. Translation: Gloria thinks she can pull a fast one on Phyllis. I think NOT. Gloria thinks she's good at being bad. NEWS FLASH: The good ones don't get caught. Repeatedly. Back at Billy's, Jill discovered that Chloe and Delia had left and although she didn't know the deets, she instinctively knew it was Billy's fault. Billy was offended at this. At the Chancellor mansion, Raul was saying his goodbyes to Mac and Chloe was lurking around checking her phone for messages from Billy. Mac tried to force a repeat performance of the bonding session she had with Chloe the other day, but Chloe responded by saying "This is all your fault." No. I'm pretty sure it's all Chloe's fault, but hey, what the hell do I know? Billy did call Chloe, but her messages were not to her liking. Quite frankly, they were not to my liking either. Too bad it's real hard to stay mad at Billy. Jack had some more drinks and had another conversation with Ghost John. Then he went to Phyllis and told her that he wanted to talk about Sharon's baby. Olivia went to see Ashley. After having a conversation in which Olivia placated Ashley, Olivia went to Victor and basically stabbed her best friend in the back. Adam was, of course, lurking around ready to jam the proverbial knife into Ashley's back a little further. Adam then woke up to what was obviously a miscarriage scare. I don't even like Ashley and I am starting to feel bad for her.
B&B wasn't too exciting today. However, I must note that Mega Slut Barbie must have smelled the new meat in town, because she sure followed the Armani scent all the way to the Ass God's office. I was completely un-surprised when she flirted with Ass God and he flirted in return. I am starting to think that the Ass God would flirt with a rock if he thought he could get something out of it. The Ass God proceeded to let the Mega Slut think that she had the upper hand and allowed her to do her own podcast in which she slammed Stephanie and Taylor. Stephanie was enjoying a meal with Bizarro Ken and Numb Lips McGee (Taylor) and the two ladies were trying to convince Bizarro to "come over to the dark side" and help them take down the Logans. Stephanie seemed extra happy to be able to scheme freely and left the two stupids remaining at the table. Taylor then insulted Mega Slut and suprised me with this little gem: "You were so much happier when you were with me. Come back to me Ridge." I guess I shouldn't have been surprised; however, I must admit I am surprised every time Numb Lips acts assertive. Ridge got that look on his face that tells me that he already has "gone back to her", at least in his brainless head.
The citizens of Llanview never cease to amaze me. When we left off yesterday, Rex was confronting Stacy the Skank about the smarmy pimp and his $20k. I thought that maybe, just maybe, Rex was going to see the light, but by the end of today's eppy, the b*tch had convinced King Baby (Rex's new nickname) that Smarmy was picking on her. Schyler was still trying to convince Gigi that he was telling her the truth about the Skank's true role, or lack there of, in Shane's bone marrow transplant. Their conversation was rife with entertainment and after Gigi told Schyler that he was "insane" and that what he was saying was "impossible", he responded by saying one of my favorite phrases: "I know, right?!" Blair and Todd bonded some more. Blair wasn't the only one bondin'. Over at Skankbrooks, McPain and Skankbrook discussed "paper airplanes" because apparently they have some significance that I am supposed to know about. Um. I draw a blank. You are never going to hear me say this again but McPain and Skankbrook had a very HOT moment today. And that's all I am going to say about that. Todd went to visit Tea who woke up. Even with her bruised up condition, she managed to be a smart ass, telling Todd "it sounds like you're starting to care about me..." followed by "hee, hee, hee, hee". Upon learning that Tea was awake, Blair rushed to be by her new besty's side. This move, of course, was a ploy to get the rest of Tea's secrets out of her proverbial closet. I'm just guessing, but I think the "big secret" is that Tea has breast cancer. Can't think of anything else that is storyline worthy....
GH was so good today, I thought I was watching a different show. I literally checked my cable guide. Anyway, let us begin with Claudia the Clingy. The show began with her whining and crying and yelling at Johnny. Johnny yelled at her back, pointing out that she is a selfish creature who deserves little redemption. Then, we were privy to Claudia yelling at the Eel (Ric) and the Eel telling Claudia that they would be good together. Yes Eel. We know you are leaving...hows about you take that clingy b*tch with you! Jax visited Michael in the hospital and they traded smart ass insults for a while. Lulu, who was also sporting the Cleavage, also visited Michael and they bonded over hospital cheeseburgers. Sonny tried to talk Olivia and the Cleavage out of getting involved with Johnny. Olivia told him to mind his own business and that she would sleep with whoever she wanted too. Later, Sonny went to Johnny and they fought over Olivia and the Cleavage. After her confrontation with Sonny, Olivia decided to tell Jax about her relationship with Johnny before someone else did. Jax questioned Olivia and the Cleavage for a moment, followed by "hey, I'm not judging..." Cut to Ric and Claudia, who were STILL arguing and trading nasty insults when Sonny came in and said "Ric, what the hell are you doing in my house again?" Ric wormed his way out of the tense situation while Claudia looked on in pinched up face horror. Johnny and Olivia then met up, kissed, and the Olivia and the Cleavage promplty left, leaving Johnny and little Johnny hanging. No pun intended. Or was it? Anyway, Lucky and Nikolas argued over Nu-old Emily. Liz confronted Nu-old Emily and called her out on her Bizarro Emily ways, including the purple blouse she has been sporting for 3 days. Alexis tried to enlist the help of the Mayor to take down Nu-Old Emily and Helena and he tried to enlist Alexis into bed. She responded by saying this: "I think you need a lesson on how this works. I have a gift for attracting psychopaths." You think? Robin finally bonded with Emma today. I cried. She bonded with Patrick. I cried. Finally, Robin told Emma that Patrick was a good daddy while Patrick listened in the doorway. I cried some more. And when I say cry, I mean mascara down the face cry.
That's all I got. I can type no more....
B&B wasn't too exciting today. However, I must note that Mega Slut Barbie must have smelled the new meat in town, because she sure followed the Armani scent all the way to the Ass God's office. I was completely un-surprised when she flirted with Ass God and he flirted in return. I am starting to think that the Ass God would flirt with a rock if he thought he could get something out of it. The Ass God proceeded to let the Mega Slut think that she had the upper hand and allowed her to do her own podcast in which she slammed Stephanie and Taylor. Stephanie was enjoying a meal with Bizarro Ken and Numb Lips McGee (Taylor) and the two ladies were trying to convince Bizarro to "come over to the dark side" and help them take down the Logans. Stephanie seemed extra happy to be able to scheme freely and left the two stupids remaining at the table. Taylor then insulted Mega Slut and suprised me with this little gem: "You were so much happier when you were with me. Come back to me Ridge." I guess I shouldn't have been surprised; however, I must admit I am surprised every time Numb Lips acts assertive. Ridge got that look on his face that tells me that he already has "gone back to her", at least in his brainless head.
The citizens of Llanview never cease to amaze me. When we left off yesterday, Rex was confronting Stacy the Skank about the smarmy pimp and his $20k. I thought that maybe, just maybe, Rex was going to see the light, but by the end of today's eppy, the b*tch had convinced King Baby (Rex's new nickname) that Smarmy was picking on her. Schyler was still trying to convince Gigi that he was telling her the truth about the Skank's true role, or lack there of, in Shane's bone marrow transplant. Their conversation was rife with entertainment and after Gigi told Schyler that he was "insane" and that what he was saying was "impossible", he responded by saying one of my favorite phrases: "I know, right?!" Blair and Todd bonded some more. Blair wasn't the only one bondin'. Over at Skankbrooks, McPain and Skankbrook discussed "paper airplanes" because apparently they have some significance that I am supposed to know about. Um. I draw a blank. You are never going to hear me say this again but McPain and Skankbrook had a very HOT moment today. And that's all I am going to say about that. Todd went to visit Tea who woke up. Even with her bruised up condition, she managed to be a smart ass, telling Todd "it sounds like you're starting to care about me..." followed by "hee, hee, hee, hee". Upon learning that Tea was awake, Blair rushed to be by her new besty's side. This move, of course, was a ploy to get the rest of Tea's secrets out of her proverbial closet. I'm just guessing, but I think the "big secret" is that Tea has breast cancer. Can't think of anything else that is storyline worthy....
GH was so good today, I thought I was watching a different show. I literally checked my cable guide. Anyway, let us begin with Claudia the Clingy. The show began with her whining and crying and yelling at Johnny. Johnny yelled at her back, pointing out that she is a selfish creature who deserves little redemption. Then, we were privy to Claudia yelling at the Eel (Ric) and the Eel telling Claudia that they would be good together. Yes Eel. We know you are leaving...hows about you take that clingy b*tch with you! Jax visited Michael in the hospital and they traded smart ass insults for a while. Lulu, who was also sporting the Cleavage, also visited Michael and they bonded over hospital cheeseburgers. Sonny tried to talk Olivia and the Cleavage out of getting involved with Johnny. Olivia told him to mind his own business and that she would sleep with whoever she wanted too. Later, Sonny went to Johnny and they fought over Olivia and the Cleavage. After her confrontation with Sonny, Olivia decided to tell Jax about her relationship with Johnny before someone else did. Jax questioned Olivia and the Cleavage for a moment, followed by "hey, I'm not judging..." Cut to Ric and Claudia, who were STILL arguing and trading nasty insults when Sonny came in and said "Ric, what the hell are you doing in my house again?" Ric wormed his way out of the tense situation while Claudia looked on in pinched up face horror. Johnny and Olivia then met up, kissed, and the Olivia and the Cleavage promplty left, leaving Johnny and little Johnny hanging. No pun intended. Or was it? Anyway, Lucky and Nikolas argued over Nu-old Emily. Liz confronted Nu-old Emily and called her out on her Bizarro Emily ways, including the purple blouse she has been sporting for 3 days. Alexis tried to enlist the help of the Mayor to take down Nu-Old Emily and Helena and he tried to enlist Alexis into bed. She responded by saying this: "I think you need a lesson on how this works. I have a gift for attracting psychopaths." You think? Robin finally bonded with Emma today. I cried. She bonded with Patrick. I cried. Finally, Robin told Emma that Patrick was a good daddy while Patrick listened in the doorway. I cried some more. And when I say cry, I mean mascara down the face cry.
That's all I got. I can type no more....
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Jack's Veins & Sharon's Shenanigans 5-26-09
I need to start off by saying that I love me some Sharon Newman Abbott. However, she was irking the mess out of me today. Upon learning that his wife had banged the snot out of his kid brother's nose, Jack was understandably upset. He confronted Billy and after screaming so hard his veins got a sore throat, promptly told his brother that he would never forgive him for this. I want to give some props to both Peter Bergman and Billy Miller for their perfomances today. Billy really looked like he wanted to cry and run into the nearest closet to hide. Enter Sharon and Chloe, who could tell that something was going on. They both seem to instinctively know not to ask what the spat was about. After Chloe grabbed Billy's chain and dragged him home, Sharon tried to talk to Jack. Jack was in a state of shock and disbelief. Sharon tried to coax him into confiding in her and then acted like he was being a pain in her ass because he wasn't as happy as she wanted him to be. This earns her the Bitch award for the day. Chloe and Billy went home and Billy thought it would be a great idea to continue his abuse towards my favorite fashionista. I beg to differ! Chloe quickly packed up Delia and moved out. Mac and Raul informed Billy that they were getting hitched. Ray Charles could have seen the pain in Billy's eyes. Speaking of blind people...Adam was up to his never ending misdeeds at the Newman Ranch today. Ashley and Victor have no idea that they are on candid camera. I must make a confession. Watching Ashley makes me want to rip out my eyeballs and feed them to the dog, and listening to her voice makes me want to cut off my own ears and flush them down the toilet. Regardless, Ashley let out a blood curtling scream after discovering Adam's latest gift. Adam walked around acting like he was on her side. After everything that happened in real life last week, I have to say that watching Adam just wasn't the same. Tell me how you feel on twitter because I sure want to know what you ladies are thinking! Any thoughts I had of boycotting Adam scenes were eliminated however when I thought that Ashley was going to bust Adam...but alas! Adam thrilled me by hiding under the bed. Now, if we could just get Ashley to crawl under there with him....and then promptly disappear, that would be great! Jill and Nina happened upon one another at Phillip III's grave and they discussed the good ole days. I know some of you think that Nina is in on the low down dirty Cane shame, I think she is just as clueless as she has always been.
2 things:
1. Nina asked Jill why a 3rd DNA test was never taken. Jill responded by saying that a 3rd test hadn't been necessary. Hmmm. More foreshadowing. What does it all mean?
2. Phillip III is a bartender. Now I see the connection.
It's unanimous....Tyra is the most hated woman on daytime.
On OLTL today, Schyler confronted Gigi with the facts about Stacy. I know what's coming so I have to say that this is a good thing. Gigi actually looked cute today..so I will just leave her alone today. Rex explained the whole Bess/Tess/Jess/Lochness debacle to Stacy. It made me laugh when Stacy acted like she couldn't believe that people could stoop so low. Rex rejected all of Stacy's requests to go do something together. Stacy pretended to have a job interview so she could go and bail Kyle's hot ass out of jail. While she was gone, the smarmy pimp, Stan, showed up and told Rex about the $20K. When Stacy arrived from her fuex interview, Rex confronted her with the pimp juice. Bess/Jess/Tess/Lochness was busy talking amongst herself while also carrying on a conversation with Hope/Chloe. Now that's what I call multitasking. It finally dawned on Viki today that Brody might acually be able to help Jessica. Um. It's a little late for that.
General Hospital was a scream fest today. Edward screamed at Sonny. Sonny screamed at Edward. Edward screamed at Carly. Carly screamed at Sonny. You get my point. Finally, Michael had enough and he did what we all wanted to do: He screamed at them all and told them to shut the hell up. Later, Jason and Michael bonded some more. Hmmmm. Robyn and Patrick went on a cute date. For a hot second, I wished Dr. Patrick was my husband. But when I snapped back to reality, I ran downstairs to my bedroom, looked inside, and damned if my husband wasn't sitting in his usual spot playing the usual video game. Damn the luck. Johnny, Olivia, and the Cleavage were front and center today. GH is much discussed on Twitter and I must say that the most talked about topic of conversation during today's episode was the Cleavage. Anyhoo, Jolivia is a couple I think I could seriously become addicted to. Maxie did what she does best: want what she can't have while lying to The Jackal about her true feelings. Fake-but-not-aussie Ethan yelled at Holly. Luke yelled at Holly. Last but not least...I had the displeasure of viewing the botched pre-schooler art work that was Lulu's hair and make up.
And with all that...I am finally done! C-ya on the flip ladies!
2 things:
1. Nina asked Jill why a 3rd DNA test was never taken. Jill responded by saying that a 3rd test hadn't been necessary. Hmmm. More foreshadowing. What does it all mean?
2. Phillip III is a bartender. Now I see the connection.
It's unanimous....Tyra is the most hated woman on daytime.
On OLTL today, Schyler confronted Gigi with the facts about Stacy. I know what's coming so I have to say that this is a good thing. Gigi actually looked cute today..so I will just leave her alone today. Rex explained the whole Bess/Tess/Jess/Lochness debacle to Stacy. It made me laugh when Stacy acted like she couldn't believe that people could stoop so low. Rex rejected all of Stacy's requests to go do something together. Stacy pretended to have a job interview so she could go and bail Kyle's hot ass out of jail. While she was gone, the smarmy pimp, Stan, showed up and told Rex about the $20K. When Stacy arrived from her fuex interview, Rex confronted her with the pimp juice. Bess/Jess/Tess/Lochness was busy talking amongst herself while also carrying on a conversation with Hope/Chloe. Now that's what I call multitasking. It finally dawned on Viki today that Brody might acually be able to help Jessica. Um. It's a little late for that.
General Hospital was a scream fest today. Edward screamed at Sonny. Sonny screamed at Edward. Edward screamed at Carly. Carly screamed at Sonny. You get my point. Finally, Michael had enough and he did what we all wanted to do: He screamed at them all and told them to shut the hell up. Later, Jason and Michael bonded some more. Hmmmm. Robyn and Patrick went on a cute date. For a hot second, I wished Dr. Patrick was my husband. But when I snapped back to reality, I ran downstairs to my bedroom, looked inside, and damned if my husband wasn't sitting in his usual spot playing the usual video game. Damn the luck. Johnny, Olivia, and the Cleavage were front and center today. GH is much discussed on Twitter and I must say that the most talked about topic of conversation during today's episode was the Cleavage. Anyhoo, Jolivia is a couple I think I could seriously become addicted to. Maxie did what she does best: want what she can't have while lying to The Jackal about her true feelings. Fake-but-not-aussie Ethan yelled at Holly. Luke yelled at Holly. Last but not least...I had the displeasure of viewing the botched pre-schooler art work that was Lulu's hair and make up.
And with all that...I am finally done! C-ya on the flip ladies!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
OMMFGDSFH!!!! 5-24-09
The title of this blog could mean a lot of things. If you know me at all, and I ain't shy, you can probobly decipher what it means. Anyhoo, I have little to share; but, what I do have is pretty good. I must give a shout out to Soap Opera Digest for providing me with info that I don't get off of soap sites. OK. Here's what I got: Y&R: I have had the opportunity to view some of tomorrow's episode and hence, the title of this entry. Billy's anger at the "Maul" pairing is apparent. However, he tells Raul that he is cool that they have "his blessing". Then he tells Chloe he wants to go home. They do. I am pretty sure that Billy wasn't inviting Chloe to come with him, just informing her. But, sticky Chloe had to follow him home. Upon entry, Billy is an asshole. He continues to act like an ass and finally tells Chloe to "give it a rest". Then he doe the #2 thing that he does best: He runs out of there. Raul and Mac discuss Billy's feelings. Billy comes in. They all talk. Billy asks them where the relationship stands now. Raul tells him he wants to marry Mac. Billy leaves and Raul pulls out some cheap ass looking ring and proposes to Mac. I don't know if she will accept, but I assume that she will. At least for a hot second. Billy runs into Sharon and they have a nice little talk. I was kind of hoping they would drop to the floor and start having hot sex. But, alas, No. Sharon runs into Noah and he tells her that he forgives her. She tells him about the baby. Noah is excited and offers to help. Sharon, of course, omitted that half of Genoa City could be her "baby's daddy". Phyllis lets it slip that Sharon and Billy did the nasty to Jack. Jack, understandably, gets real pissed. He goes the *bleep* off on Phyllis. As she scrambled to come up with answers, Jack screamed this at her: "Shut Up!" I felt some satisfaction. I'm not going to lie. I'm sure that Jack will unleash his massive fury on Billy at some point in the rest of this episode. Chloe will leave Billy. He'll ask her to come on back home. Will she go? I would like to say no; however, Chloe has a soft spot for that hot ass a-hole. B&B: Rick Hearst's air date will be in mid-July. I say this because I wanted to know and I am quite sure that everyone else does too. Brooke's blog will cause another blow up with Taylor and cause yet another fight between Rick and Caterpillar Eyes (Thomas). Taylor will sleep with Ridge. Snore. I'm not sure about this one. But, I think that Owen is going to propose to Jackie. The Saggy Sailor is not going to like it, and he will ponder what Owen's true financial motives are. The Saggy Sailor and The Rug Bitch will continue to "work out" their hot mess of a relationship but The Rug will please me greatly by desiring to be with the Ass God. FYI: Ass God is my new name for Bill Jr. There is some ridiculous Price is Right crap coming up involving Donna and Pam somehow getting involved with Drew Carey. I'm guessing that this is guaranteed to be both stupid as hell while somehow being hysterical and something that we will want to tune in to. GH: Helena will be returning to mess with Nu-old Emily. The two b*tches will come face to face. Jason will finally get some solid proof on Claudia. Ethan will tell Holly to go to hell. Jasam will be getting back together in some capacity. Quote: "It's going to be HOT." End Quote. Jax is keeping a big secret from Carly. Something "tragic" is going to happen to Claudia the Clingy that will expose all her crap. I ponder if this is the "Jason runs her into traffic" storyline? Ethan does have feelings for Nu-old Emily. I would like to see some action there, but, I can't decide if they would even look good together. I say no.
AMC: Chrishell Stause has extended her contract. This, my friends, is good news as we all know. If anyone is wondering where the hell Frankie is (I wasn't), his portrayer, Cornelius Smith Jr. is in "contract negotiations" and will be returning soon. Red-Liza will set Kendall up for Stuart's murder. Kendall will figure it out. Oh, Kendall will find about the card table debacle with Fabio as well. These revelations will prompt Kendall to seek out Red-Liza, call her a bitch, and slap the hell out of her. Then, Jesse will arrest Kendall. Kendall and Fabio will remarry so he doesn't have to testify against her. Ryan and Erica will grow closer. The mag warned that this would NOT be a cougar story. WTF? What else is going to interest us?! Adam and Annie will fall in love. Annie will also be eluded to as the killer but chances are, it wasn't her. Aidan will find new love and I read that he will be doing most of that shirtless. YES! God is a woman! People will start to realize that Emma could be a witness to the murder. I'm not sure what the hell is up with this; but, Jake is going to marry either Amanda or Red-Liza. I am willing to bet cash money that it will be Red-Liza. The reason for the nups? David finds out about the whole baby plan and it obviously will backfire. Crishell extended her contract; however, she did not sign a new one. Hence, we must be prepared. Tad and Taylor are finally going to hook up. I am real happy that Beth Ehlers might actually get to do her job on this show. She was great on GL. I was a big fan, but her character on AMC leaves much to be desired. Randi's stripper/hooker/trallop past will come back to bite her in the ass in the form of what is being eluded to as a pimp from back in the day. Stuart will remain present as guilty subconcious memories for all those involved. OLTL: Bess/Jess/Tess/Lochness will go to Nash's parents and set up camp. They, apparently, will be completely oblivious to who she even is. They will start to realize just how crazy that bitch really is. Todd will fall in love with Tea for real, and Blair will be cool with it. Michael and Marcy will find out that the Hope is alive. But, it looks like Starr might want to keep the baby. Rachel will question the whole "Blintz" engagement. I'm glad someone will be questioning that stupid sh*t. BORA all the way!
OK. I'm all about shutting my pie hole right now. Peace!
AMC: Chrishell Stause has extended her contract. This, my friends, is good news as we all know. If anyone is wondering where the hell Frankie is (I wasn't), his portrayer, Cornelius Smith Jr. is in "contract negotiations" and will be returning soon. Red-Liza will set Kendall up for Stuart's murder. Kendall will figure it out. Oh, Kendall will find about the card table debacle with Fabio as well. These revelations will prompt Kendall to seek out Red-Liza, call her a bitch, and slap the hell out of her. Then, Jesse will arrest Kendall. Kendall and Fabio will remarry so he doesn't have to testify against her. Ryan and Erica will grow closer. The mag warned that this would NOT be a cougar story. WTF? What else is going to interest us?! Adam and Annie will fall in love. Annie will also be eluded to as the killer but chances are, it wasn't her. Aidan will find new love and I read that he will be doing most of that shirtless. YES! God is a woman! People will start to realize that Emma could be a witness to the murder. I'm not sure what the hell is up with this; but, Jake is going to marry either Amanda or Red-Liza. I am willing to bet cash money that it will be Red-Liza. The reason for the nups? David finds out about the whole baby plan and it obviously will backfire. Crishell extended her contract; however, she did not sign a new one. Hence, we must be prepared. Tad and Taylor are finally going to hook up. I am real happy that Beth Ehlers might actually get to do her job on this show. She was great on GL. I was a big fan, but her character on AMC leaves much to be desired. Randi's stripper/hooker/trallop past will come back to bite her in the ass in the form of what is being eluded to as a pimp from back in the day. Stuart will remain present as guilty subconcious memories for all those involved. OLTL: Bess/Jess/Tess/Lochness will go to Nash's parents and set up camp. They, apparently, will be completely oblivious to who she even is. They will start to realize just how crazy that bitch really is. Todd will fall in love with Tea for real, and Blair will be cool with it. Michael and Marcy will find out that the Hope is alive. But, it looks like Starr might want to keep the baby. Rachel will question the whole "Blintz" engagement. I'm glad someone will be questioning that stupid sh*t. BORA all the way!
OK. I'm all about shutting my pie hole right now. Peace!
Friday, May 22, 2009
McPain Gets a Hug 5-23-09
OK. I am in pain so I am going to keep this short and sweet. On Y&R today, Cane and Lily were in bed eating fruit throughout the entire episode. Billy asked Chloe about her talk with Mac and was in denial when Chloe announced that Mac was in love with someone else. Chloe broke bad on Billy with this little ditty: "Wait for it...Wait for it....It isn't you!" At the Chancellor barbeque, Billy made a complete ass out himself by attempting to hit on Mac not once, not twice, but thrice! Chloe watched from afar and laughed at each dose of rejection that Mac dished out. Mac got pissed when Billy blatantly told her that he knew she couldn't possibly be with someone else because of her love for him. She responded by saying: "Get over yourself Billy" Later, Chloe, Amber and Nina discussed the Katherine/Jill baby switch debacle and whether or not it should be explored in the movie. Nina and Amber cannot agree. Why doesn't that surprise me? Raul showed up at the barbeque as if he belonged there and everyone greeted him with open arms, including Billy. Billy introduced Raul to everyone, including two random ants that were walking on the patio, before he mumbled: "This is my wife Chloe" Raul tried to cover the shock that he felt, but couldn't resist telling Chloe that she had done the "impossible". Mac walked up from wherever the hell she was, and proceeded to make out with Raul like she forgot where she was. Billy's face cracked into a million pieces and Chloe scrambled to pick them all up from the sidewalk and put them back together. Jack continued to urge Sharon to stay away from Nicholas because it would be too tempting to tell him about the baby. We were then forced to watch 30 minutes of Sharon tell Phyllis how she would stay away from Nick forever and how she would like to start over with Phyllis. Then, she went to Cassie's grave, ran into Nick, and spilled the baby beans. All while Phyllis hid behind a magical headstone that suddenly made that loud ass dress she was wearing invisible, listening to the confession. I'll be damned if Phyllis didn't turn into the Incredible Hulk and smash the magic head stone with her brute strength. OK. You know that sh*t didn't happen.
On B&B today, the Saggy Sailor and the Crypt Keeper both got what they wanted. Jackie took home her boy toy, and Nick got to take home his "true love", or as I like to call her, The Rug Bitch, Bridget. Nick was appalled by Jackie's relationship with Owen, prompting him to ask her this: "Why couln't you have taken up knitting or playing cards?" It wasn't until after this love fest went down that Nick read his Dear Saggy Sailor letter that Katie had written him. AFter reading it, he must have been happy to be off the hook because I'll be damned if he didn't take The Rug Bitch upstairs and make awkward, saggy love to her. Katie, meanwhile, was still over at Hot Ass's penthouse passed out. Bill was still looking at her for whatever reason when he pulled out her I.D. and discovered that she was, indeed, a Logan Minx. He then called Donna who was impressed with the way Bill was "helping" Katie. Eric and Stephanie argued about Bill today. Eric blamed all his problems on Bill and Stephanie quickly informed him: "It's not Bill. It's Karma." Ouch.
Over in Llanview, Jess/Bess/Tess/Lochness was still on the run with Chloe/Hope. Bess is pretty creepy, but I have to admit that I actually like her the best. Viki and Clint both tried to get through to Jess, but failed. Brody, who had more lines in this one episode than he has since he started, was able to talk to Jessica. Jess was curious about why Bess would go on the run with Chloe. Bess kicked Jess out of her own head and after Viki took the phone from Brody, promplty hung up. Kyle is Rebecca's brother and now that she is ASSUMED to be dead, he has been arrested for his role in her crimes. Kyle called Stacy the Skank to announce that she owed him and it was time to pay off. Meanwhile, Stacy was online looking for new apartments to move in to, so that Rex and Shane could have their "space". When the camera zoomed into her computer screen, the bitch was actually looking at generic cosmetics. Rex, the Giant Douche Nozzle, was manipulated again, and Stacy ended the eppy with a key to Rex's apartment in her hand and a retarded smile on her rat-like face. McPain broke the baby news to Blair who raced over to Todd's and bonded with Skankbrook. I was amazed at the balls on both of these bitches when they actually acted like they were mad that Jess/Bess/Tess/Lochness for taking the baby that they knew nothing about 2 minutes ago. The baby reveal should have happened today. It didn't. Even more annoying? The fact that no one seems to think that Brody deserves or can handle the truth about his girlfriends issues. I know one thing. If he says "integrated" one more f-ing time, I am going to jump through my t.v. Blues Clues Skidoo style and punch him in the teeth. Blair tried to discuss her marriage with McPain, with McPain, but he said he had too much going on. Later, McPain got a hug from Jack, who still called him McPain. It actually made me NOT want to hit that kid for a damn change.
That's all I got. Peace and love. til next time.....
On B&B today, the Saggy Sailor and the Crypt Keeper both got what they wanted. Jackie took home her boy toy, and Nick got to take home his "true love", or as I like to call her, The Rug Bitch, Bridget. Nick was appalled by Jackie's relationship with Owen, prompting him to ask her this: "Why couln't you have taken up knitting or playing cards?" It wasn't until after this love fest went down that Nick read his Dear Saggy Sailor letter that Katie had written him. AFter reading it, he must have been happy to be off the hook because I'll be damned if he didn't take The Rug Bitch upstairs and make awkward, saggy love to her. Katie, meanwhile, was still over at Hot Ass's penthouse passed out. Bill was still looking at her for whatever reason when he pulled out her I.D. and discovered that she was, indeed, a Logan Minx. He then called Donna who was impressed with the way Bill was "helping" Katie. Eric and Stephanie argued about Bill today. Eric blamed all his problems on Bill and Stephanie quickly informed him: "It's not Bill. It's Karma." Ouch.
Over in Llanview, Jess/Bess/Tess/Lochness was still on the run with Chloe/Hope. Bess is pretty creepy, but I have to admit that I actually like her the best. Viki and Clint both tried to get through to Jess, but failed. Brody, who had more lines in this one episode than he has since he started, was able to talk to Jessica. Jess was curious about why Bess would go on the run with Chloe. Bess kicked Jess out of her own head and after Viki took the phone from Brody, promplty hung up. Kyle is Rebecca's brother and now that she is ASSUMED to be dead, he has been arrested for his role in her crimes. Kyle called Stacy the Skank to announce that she owed him and it was time to pay off. Meanwhile, Stacy was online looking for new apartments to move in to, so that Rex and Shane could have their "space". When the camera zoomed into her computer screen, the bitch was actually looking at generic cosmetics. Rex, the Giant Douche Nozzle, was manipulated again, and Stacy ended the eppy with a key to Rex's apartment in her hand and a retarded smile on her rat-like face. McPain broke the baby news to Blair who raced over to Todd's and bonded with Skankbrook. I was amazed at the balls on both of these bitches when they actually acted like they were mad that Jess/Bess/Tess/Lochness for taking the baby that they knew nothing about 2 minutes ago. The baby reveal should have happened today. It didn't. Even more annoying? The fact that no one seems to think that Brody deserves or can handle the truth about his girlfriends issues. I know one thing. If he says "integrated" one more f-ing time, I am going to jump through my t.v. Blues Clues Skidoo style and punch him in the teeth. Blair tried to discuss her marriage with McPain, with McPain, but he said he had too much going on. Later, McPain got a hug from Jack, who still called him McPain. It actually made me NOT want to hit that kid for a damn change.
That's all I got. Peace and love. til next time.....
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Serious Scandal: Spoilers 5-22-09
I've got a gang of spoilers. I love my soap people who keep me all kinds of informed. Here's what I've got:
Y&R:
Mary Jane and Mr. Mumbles will get in a tiff, which will be snapped a la a photo by Jill. Ashley will catch Adam in the act of being Sabrina, but the dumb bitch will fall down the stairs in shock and get knocked the hell out. No. Not another amnesia story. That's what you are saying to yourself right now isn't it? Nick and Sharon will have sex, prompting Phyllis to finally give his flippin ass the boot! Then my favorite red headed she devil is going to get some strange from Jack. Can I just say that this is what I need in my life? Mr. FBI is actually a nobody and the real Mr. FBI will show up and be clueless as to the goings on in Daniel's wierd little world. Chloe will find out that Billy and Sharon did the horizontal wedding march without her on her special day. I can only imagine that Sharon better run and hide. Adam has not forgotten about Jack and will be seeking revenge in the near future. However, he will get away with his sh*t for a while because of the whole 'Hey, I'm blind but I am looking right at you" thing. Hopefully the new Adam will play a better blind guy. Katherine and Jill have more skeletons in the closet...obviously this involves Phillips I-IV and Cane. Say it isn't so...Tyra and her weave may be having a baby. If this is true, I am already convinced it is Satan's spawn. Corbin Bernson will reprise his role as Todd, Paul's brother. Not only does this double confirm that Mary Jane is Patty, but Bernson is Jeanne Cooper's real son!
AMC:
Kendall will turn to Zach. Yawn. Liza will accuse others of the murder to take the heat off of herself. Her scheming will be discovered however. Amanda will recieve some baby related warning. Someone else will be arrested for Stuart's murder. Krystal will finally snap. Adam will get sicker. Where the hell is this hot love triange between J.R., Scott and Marissa the Mudsucker? This killer storyline is already over in my opinion. Or at least someone needs to let me know when it is.
OLTL:
I forgot to mention this in my recap blog yesterday and I seriously need to get it off my chest. Crystal Hunt's thighs are the most disgusting slabs of wasted space I have ever seen on daytime t.v. Yes, even more disgusting than Marcy's. Yes. I said it. Anyway...Bo will find out about the Blintz engagement. Schyler will tell Gigi about his suspicions about Stacy the Skank. Gigi and Schyler will team up to take down Stacy prompting Gigi to hope to get back together with Rex. Tess will question Bess. Um. How does that work exactly? Tea and Blair make a pact to keep their secrets. McPain and Skankbrook will not be able to fight their attraction. Bess will go looking for Nash's parents. Brody will go looking for her. Brody will find her. Starr and Cole are obviously going to find out about the baby. Viki will beg Bess to come home on television. Tea will move in with Todd to "heal". Is that what they are calling it these days? Marrko's parents will hit up Llanview.
GH:
I hear Jason isn't a very good shot and that Alcazar is coming back. That's a rumor I would definitely like to see come true. Michael will bond with Claudia while continuing to hate on Carly. Nu-old Emily and Not-so-Fake Aussie are in cahoots and may have been lovers once. Jason is going to chase Cry-baby Claudia into traffic and she will get hit by a car. She will lose the baby, pay the doctor, yada, yada, yada....you know the rest. Dante may return sooner than I thought...obviously, not soon enough...
B&B:
Bill will continue to secure his alliance with Stephanie. Stephanie will blackmail Eric in order to keep Bill from getting his hands on Forrester and Skeletor. Katie learns that the Saggy Sailor and Boo Hoo Bridget are already back together. Nick will offer Owen a large sum of money to leave the Crypt Keeper, I mean Jackie, alone. Stephanie will ask Ridge to help her take down Eric and the Logan Minxes. Taylor and Ridge will mesh collagen injections once again. Yawn. Once again.
Peace out. I am going to bed. You know the drill....
Y&R:
Mary Jane and Mr. Mumbles will get in a tiff, which will be snapped a la a photo by Jill. Ashley will catch Adam in the act of being Sabrina, but the dumb bitch will fall down the stairs in shock and get knocked the hell out. No. Not another amnesia story. That's what you are saying to yourself right now isn't it? Nick and Sharon will have sex, prompting Phyllis to finally give his flippin ass the boot! Then my favorite red headed she devil is going to get some strange from Jack. Can I just say that this is what I need in my life? Mr. FBI is actually a nobody and the real Mr. FBI will show up and be clueless as to the goings on in Daniel's wierd little world. Chloe will find out that Billy and Sharon did the horizontal wedding march without her on her special day. I can only imagine that Sharon better run and hide. Adam has not forgotten about Jack and will be seeking revenge in the near future. However, he will get away with his sh*t for a while because of the whole 'Hey, I'm blind but I am looking right at you" thing. Hopefully the new Adam will play a better blind guy. Katherine and Jill have more skeletons in the closet...obviously this involves Phillips I-IV and Cane. Say it isn't so...Tyra and her weave may be having a baby. If this is true, I am already convinced it is Satan's spawn. Corbin Bernson will reprise his role as Todd, Paul's brother. Not only does this double confirm that Mary Jane is Patty, but Bernson is Jeanne Cooper's real son!
AMC:
Kendall will turn to Zach. Yawn. Liza will accuse others of the murder to take the heat off of herself. Her scheming will be discovered however. Amanda will recieve some baby related warning. Someone else will be arrested for Stuart's murder. Krystal will finally snap. Adam will get sicker. Where the hell is this hot love triange between J.R., Scott and Marissa the Mudsucker? This killer storyline is already over in my opinion. Or at least someone needs to let me know when it is.
OLTL:
I forgot to mention this in my recap blog yesterday and I seriously need to get it off my chest. Crystal Hunt's thighs are the most disgusting slabs of wasted space I have ever seen on daytime t.v. Yes, even more disgusting than Marcy's. Yes. I said it. Anyway...Bo will find out about the Blintz engagement. Schyler will tell Gigi about his suspicions about Stacy the Skank. Gigi and Schyler will team up to take down Stacy prompting Gigi to hope to get back together with Rex. Tess will question Bess. Um. How does that work exactly? Tea and Blair make a pact to keep their secrets. McPain and Skankbrook will not be able to fight their attraction. Bess will go looking for Nash's parents. Brody will go looking for her. Brody will find her. Starr and Cole are obviously going to find out about the baby. Viki will beg Bess to come home on television. Tea will move in with Todd to "heal". Is that what they are calling it these days? Marrko's parents will hit up Llanview.
GH:
I hear Jason isn't a very good shot and that Alcazar is coming back. That's a rumor I would definitely like to see come true. Michael will bond with Claudia while continuing to hate on Carly. Nu-old Emily and Not-so-Fake Aussie are in cahoots and may have been lovers once. Jason is going to chase Cry-baby Claudia into traffic and she will get hit by a car. She will lose the baby, pay the doctor, yada, yada, yada....you know the rest. Dante may return sooner than I thought...obviously, not soon enough...
B&B:
Bill will continue to secure his alliance with Stephanie. Stephanie will blackmail Eric in order to keep Bill from getting his hands on Forrester and Skeletor. Katie learns that the Saggy Sailor and Boo Hoo Bridget are already back together. Nick will offer Owen a large sum of money to leave the Crypt Keeper, I mean Jackie, alone. Stephanie will ask Ridge to help her take down Eric and the Logan Minxes. Taylor and Ridge will mesh collagen injections once again. Yawn. Once again.
Peace out. I am going to bed. You know the drill....
Logan Minxes and Bill Jr. Hijinxes 5-21-09
Big sh*t is poppin in soap world today..but I will get to all that in a minute. I must discuss the new show that just started on CBS this week. The Don Diamont show. Oh. Nevermind, it's still B&B only I didn't have to look at Mega Slut, Bizarro Ken, or any part of the Rick train. Bill Jr. arrived at Eric and Skeletor's for dinner on yesterday's eppy. Skeletor was desperate to get out of the encounter, so she tried to ply Eric with sex instead. The old bastard surprised me by ignoring his withering penis and continued with dinner as planned. Eric asked Bill if he had met Skeletor yet, to which Bill slyly responded: "Yes, but I look forward to getting to know her a little better." Skeletor looked as appalled as we feel when she busts out her honey bottle and Bill proceeded to offer Eric $100 million for Forrester Creations. Eric was shitty and refused Bill's offer. Bill told Eric it must really be hard to get work done at Forrester with all the "Logan Minxes" running around. LMAO. Bridget was headed out for a date with Owen when the Saggy Sailor begged her for one more chance and pulled her into a kiss. Bridget tried to be strong. She failed. On today's eppy, Bridget was trying to have HOT sex with Owen, but she couldn't get the Saggy Sailor off of her mind. Owen continued to ask her "are you with me?" No Owen. She isn't. But I guarantee you I could be. Anyway, while all this talking was going on, the Saggy Sailor and his even saggier mother were driving over to Owen's to stop the naughtiness. Jackie confessed that Owen was a great lover on the way over and I thought the Saggy Sailor was going to puke in his own lap. Long story short, Nick and Bridget kissed and made up. Jackie and Owen kissed and made up in front of Bridget and Nick. Bridget and Nick both threw up. Lonely Katie was hanging out with about 20 martinis when Bill came upon her. He introduced himself, stating his friends call him "Dollar Bill". Katie introduced herself, stating her friends call her "homewrecker". Yada, Yada, Yada, they left the bar, went to Bill's suite and Katie promptly passed out. Bill took off her sandals, subjecting us to her hammer toes and then stared at her. WOW. I have to be honest. Don Diamont's ass looked so good in the jeans he was wearing today that I payed attention to nothing else.
On OLTL, Jess/Bess/Tess/Lochness remembered stealing the baby on yesterday's eppy and Brody was there to share the joy. Natalie and Jared finally told Viki, Charlie, and Clint about the baby swap. Clint stayed in denial land throughout the show. Tea and Blair were still tied up, sucking in toxic gas and still managing to argue. Tea's secret is losing it's allure. I just want to know what it is. My girl J said that Tea got out yesterday before the whole place blew up, however, when I turned it on today, she was buried beneath the rubble. McPain sucks. Blair acted as if she cared about someone other than herself when she heard that Marty and Todd were safe with the baby. Viki confirmed to Todd and Marty that Chloe is really Hope. Brody got Jessica to the hospital in time for her to be reunited with Chloe. She then told the doctor that she was "cured". Brody tried to convince the doctor that there was more to the story but Clint put the kabosh on all that, telling Brody to stay out of it. Brody's eyes were more blue than usual. Anyone else notice? Gigi acted like she had some sense today and yesterday. 2 days in a row? I am scared. I really liked Stacy at first, but now, she is just a dumb bitch.
The Michael is Awake storyline has taken over GH. This storyline sucks in itself, however, the sh*t stemming from it is sooooo goooooood. Johnny and Olivia had mad sex yesterday. Play, stop, rewind. Rewind, stop, play. Yes, it was that good. Sonny cried. Claudia sat around and looked desperate. Jax was being an ass. Jason told Sam that no matter what "he is not Michael's father." Right. You keep telling yourself that, Stone Cold. Someone wake me up when Michael stops whining or Jolivia hits the sheets again. Whichever comes first.
When I awoke this morning, I was blasted with the news that Chris Engan walked off the set of Y&R because he didn't want to engage in a little man on man action. Guess now he can go engage in a little standing in the unemployment line. He has already been replaced by one Michael Muhney from Veronica Mars. I have had the opportunity to watch him shirtless today. It will take some getting used to, but I think I will manage. There is a photo posted below for your viewing pleasure.
On today's eppy of Y&R, Chloe was bragging to Delia about the change in Billy when she noticed Mac's name on the caller ID. Jack stopped by to check on things and he and Chloe had a nice talk about Billy finally coming around. Billy was over at Jack's and came across Sharon having a boo hoo moment. After some pathetic small talk, Billy asked if there was a 3rd candidate for her baby's daddy. Jack came in on the ass end of the convo and looked as if Sharon and Billy were busted. They weren't of course. Chloe went over to Mac's in search of Billy and was surprised to find that he wasn't even there. Mac and Chloe bonded but not until after Mac revealed that she had never had sex with Billy. NO WONDER. I forgot that they have never done the deed. That explains why he wants her so bad. Mac told Chloe about her long relationship with Raul in Africa. This convo was overheard by Billy, who did show up at Mac's after all. When he heard Chloe's voice he ran so fast my head was spinning. Not really. Summer drew Nick a picture of family which prompted him to reminisce about Cassie. He then confessed to Phyllis that no matter what, he and Sharon needed each other. Sharon was busy having the same conversation with Jack. Later Phyllis and Summer were leaving and Summer gave Nick a kiss. Nick asked if he could have "one of those from mommy" to which Phyllis responded: "You can have whatever you want, as soon as you figure out what that is." I wasn't even in the room and I still yelled at the damn tv. Paul finally got Mary Jane to go out in public with him. Not really sure why, but Mary Jane donned a giant Paris sized pair of sunglasses in the middle of the GCAC during the daytime. This just proves how stupid she really is. Oh yeah. It also proves that she is Patty Williams. Right? Right.
That's all I got. I am really tired! More later....some bitch time....some bitch channel.....
On OLTL, Jess/Bess/Tess/Lochness remembered stealing the baby on yesterday's eppy and Brody was there to share the joy. Natalie and Jared finally told Viki, Charlie, and Clint about the baby swap. Clint stayed in denial land throughout the show. Tea and Blair were still tied up, sucking in toxic gas and still managing to argue. Tea's secret is losing it's allure. I just want to know what it is. My girl J said that Tea got out yesterday before the whole place blew up, however, when I turned it on today, she was buried beneath the rubble. McPain sucks. Blair acted as if she cared about someone other than herself when she heard that Marty and Todd were safe with the baby. Viki confirmed to Todd and Marty that Chloe is really Hope. Brody got Jessica to the hospital in time for her to be reunited with Chloe. She then told the doctor that she was "cured". Brody tried to convince the doctor that there was more to the story but Clint put the kabosh on all that, telling Brody to stay out of it. Brody's eyes were more blue than usual. Anyone else notice? Gigi acted like she had some sense today and yesterday. 2 days in a row? I am scared. I really liked Stacy at first, but now, she is just a dumb bitch.
The Michael is Awake storyline has taken over GH. This storyline sucks in itself, however, the sh*t stemming from it is sooooo goooooood. Johnny and Olivia had mad sex yesterday. Play, stop, rewind. Rewind, stop, play. Yes, it was that good. Sonny cried. Claudia sat around and looked desperate. Jax was being an ass. Jason told Sam that no matter what "he is not Michael's father." Right. You keep telling yourself that, Stone Cold. Someone wake me up when Michael stops whining or Jolivia hits the sheets again. Whichever comes first.
When I awoke this morning, I was blasted with the news that Chris Engan walked off the set of Y&R because he didn't want to engage in a little man on man action. Guess now he can go engage in a little standing in the unemployment line. He has already been replaced by one Michael Muhney from Veronica Mars. I have had the opportunity to watch him shirtless today. It will take some getting used to, but I think I will manage. There is a photo posted below for your viewing pleasure.
On today's eppy of Y&R, Chloe was bragging to Delia about the change in Billy when she noticed Mac's name on the caller ID. Jack stopped by to check on things and he and Chloe had a nice talk about Billy finally coming around. Billy was over at Jack's and came across Sharon having a boo hoo moment. After some pathetic small talk, Billy asked if there was a 3rd candidate for her baby's daddy. Jack came in on the ass end of the convo and looked as if Sharon and Billy were busted. They weren't of course. Chloe went over to Mac's in search of Billy and was surprised to find that he wasn't even there. Mac and Chloe bonded but not until after Mac revealed that she had never had sex with Billy. NO WONDER. I forgot that they have never done the deed. That explains why he wants her so bad. Mac told Chloe about her long relationship with Raul in Africa. This convo was overheard by Billy, who did show up at Mac's after all. When he heard Chloe's voice he ran so fast my head was spinning. Not really. Summer drew Nick a picture of family which prompted him to reminisce about Cassie. He then confessed to Phyllis that no matter what, he and Sharon needed each other. Sharon was busy having the same conversation with Jack. Later Phyllis and Summer were leaving and Summer gave Nick a kiss. Nick asked if he could have "one of those from mommy" to which Phyllis responded: "You can have whatever you want, as soon as you figure out what that is." I wasn't even in the room and I still yelled at the damn tv. Paul finally got Mary Jane to go out in public with him. Not really sure why, but Mary Jane donned a giant Paris sized pair of sunglasses in the middle of the GCAC during the daytime. This just proves how stupid she really is. Oh yeah. It also proves that she is Patty Williams. Right? Right.
That's all I got. I am really tired! More later....some bitch time....some bitch channel.....
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
If the Straight Jacket Fits 5-20-09
So I started off this morning with a little house cleaning and although I was anticipating soaps as usual, I just happened to catch some of today's Y&R on youtube while looking for other random clips. OMFG. The clip started off with Billy, shirtless, laying on the bed. I instantly perked up when I noticed he was not alone, however I expected the other person to be Chloe, not Mac. I was sullen, but alas, Clementine Ford came to life right before my very eyes. After a very HOT mini-sex scene with Billy, the dream was over and it was Mac who was waking up. Over at Billy and Chloe's shack, the two were reminiscing about old times after opening up a tacky wedding present from Spencer and Heidi. Billy was smiling and bragging about giving Chloe a garbage can when they played "Who wants to marry a homeless man?" Chloe ran out to give Delia her blanky and Billy started painting the house. Chloe came home, yada, yada, yada...Chloe told Billy that she liked Designer Billy much more than Barfly Billy and we were treated to some hot pink paint sex. Mac was reminiscing as well, even busting out with a crappy dvd of she and Billy singing karaoke. NO! For some reason, she chose that moment to call Billy's cell to laugh about it. I have only one problem with this: She has not called him one time or expressed interest in him once. We are supposed to believe that one wet dream is going to change that? At the Abbott mansion, Jack walked Sharon to the door, opened it, and kissed her for a hot second. All of this was viewed by Mary Jane/Patty who just stood there with daggers shooting out of the side of her head. She then spat out some crap about how happy she was that the couple was back together. Sharon went off to see the therapist and Jack was trapped with Mary Jane. Mary Jane was getting something to drink and just happened to know where the damn coasters were, making Jack suspicious. Jack thanked Mary Jane for being so cool with the break up and Mary Jane said "We didn't fall in love or anything." to which Jack responded "Thank God for that. Now lets get back to those reports." Mary Jane will now be called Crumbled Cheese Face because that's exactly what the hell happened when Jack said that sh*t. At Sharon's room at the club, Sharon scrambled to explain her baby mama drama to the therapist but to no avail. She didn't like what the therapist was saying so she left. Later, Paul cornered CCF and she avoided him like the plague. Now I KNOW she's Patty. The anniversary edition of Restless Style was a success and Nick went off to celebrate somewhere else. He ran into Sharon who almost told him the truth. After telling him to leave her the hell alone for the 42nd time, she promptly went upstairs and flipped the hell out. Phyllis and Jack bonded over not having any secrets from one another while they both had visions of the secrets they were keeping from one another. Amber questioned Daniel's secrecy lately and he covered. Amber looked amazing as usual. Jana came over and became suspicious after noticing that Daniel was obviously copying the painting. Daniel, fresh from the shower in his little towel, covered some more. Damn. Why does Daniel have to start looking good again now that I hate him? Mr. FBI Agent came over and told Daniel to stay away from Jana. Amber returned from her meeting with Lauren and announced that her jackets had sold out. Kevin bonded with Mac. Kevin bonded with Jana and I fell in love with him.
OLTL was f-ing awesome today. However, I have homework to do and must blog about that sh*t later!
Until I get this other crap done...some bitch time...some bitch channel
OLTL was f-ing awesome today. However, I have homework to do and must blog about that sh*t later!
Until I get this other crap done...some bitch time...some bitch channel
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Boring-BooHoo-BOOM! 5-19-09
I have to be honest when I say that I anticipated that Y&R would be boring today and therefore I took a nap and missed all the damn shows. I have had the opportunity to view the necessary footage and this is what I got:
Y&R: We were subjected to more Cane and Lily wedding reception scenes which were filled with what I can only describe as eye openers. Katherine had a heart to heart with Billy about Monotone Mac in which she stated that Chloe was "an anchor around Billy's neck." Billy said some more stupid sh*t to Kevin and Monotone Mac continued to get pissed while looking at Billy as if she couldn't wait to give him an earth friendly hug. Billy, Chloe, and Cane and Lily all decided to be friends. Um. No. Chloe and Amber had a conversation in which they both expressed their hatred for Lily. I knew I liked these two for a reason. Amber became quite sad when after catching the bouquet, Daniel rejected even the thought of a wedding in their future. Three major issues with the show today:
1. Daniel's hair.
2. Daniel's odd yet cheerful banter as he took pictures for his ex-wifes wedding.
3. Daniel sitting on the computer at the end of the eppy looking at, what, porn?
OK. I lied.
4. Daniel
Daniel had the nerve to say to Amber that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", No Amber, if it is broke, stupid and ugly, you should leave it. Neil and Tyra are shiesty. Devon knows it. The show played a beautiful montage with an equally beautiful song entitled Happy by Josh Ryan. I am not going to lie. I cried like a f*cking baby.
My Mary Jane is Mari Jo theory has been blown all to hell thanks to my friend, the Y&R Lady. It makes much more sense for it to be Paul's psychotic whore sister, Patti.
I have no idea what happened on B&B today. All I know was that I woke up for a hot second and Bill Jr. was hitting on Jackie and Bridget while telling them about hitting on Skeletor, I mean Donna. What a f*cking stud. I'd do him.
AMC is so stupid right now, I am not sure if watching it is good for my mental health. Fabio was arrested. Gucci Goo (Ryan) was arrested. Erica obviously did the shooting or knows who did it or helped Adam cover up the fact that Stuart is the one that is really dead. Kendall suspects Erica. Erica suspects Kendall. Hey, Bitches! Go get the hotties out of jail! Jesse is the stupidist cop I have ever had the displeasure of watching screw up EVERYTHING. Acting+Jesse+Horrible. Still no sign of Asylum Annie or Emma. Krystal and J.R. basically admitted that they tried to kill Adam. But Jesse the Wonder Cop was more concerned about "Haywords" whereabouts. What an ass.
On OLTL, the KAD story is almost over. Powell has Chloe/Hope and the sh*t is about to hit the fan. Natalie and Jared are going to get busted. Jessica is freaking out. OK. Why do people feel sorry for her? She stole the damn baby! Todd and Marty were both shocked to find out the baby was their grandchild and Todd even begged for mercy. Not for himself, but for everyone else. Tea and Blair argued while dying through the eppy and finally got down to the nitty gritty of the whole damn shebang: Blair still loves Todd. That's the big secret? Wow. We all knew that, yet, these two actresses made it well worth the wait. Seething and hissing to the death. I like that.
I am watching GH now and since it just started, I can't really talk about it. Talk at you tomorrow...same bitch time...same bitch channel
Y&R: We were subjected to more Cane and Lily wedding reception scenes which were filled with what I can only describe as eye openers. Katherine had a heart to heart with Billy about Monotone Mac in which she stated that Chloe was "an anchor around Billy's neck." Billy said some more stupid sh*t to Kevin and Monotone Mac continued to get pissed while looking at Billy as if she couldn't wait to give him an earth friendly hug. Billy, Chloe, and Cane and Lily all decided to be friends. Um. No. Chloe and Amber had a conversation in which they both expressed their hatred for Lily. I knew I liked these two for a reason. Amber became quite sad when after catching the bouquet, Daniel rejected even the thought of a wedding in their future. Three major issues with the show today:
1. Daniel's hair.
2. Daniel's odd yet cheerful banter as he took pictures for his ex-wifes wedding.
3. Daniel sitting on the computer at the end of the eppy looking at, what, porn?
OK. I lied.
4. Daniel
Daniel had the nerve to say to Amber that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", No Amber, if it is broke, stupid and ugly, you should leave it. Neil and Tyra are shiesty. Devon knows it. The show played a beautiful montage with an equally beautiful song entitled Happy by Josh Ryan. I am not going to lie. I cried like a f*cking baby.
My Mary Jane is Mari Jo theory has been blown all to hell thanks to my friend, the Y&R Lady. It makes much more sense for it to be Paul's psychotic whore sister, Patti.
I have no idea what happened on B&B today. All I know was that I woke up for a hot second and Bill Jr. was hitting on Jackie and Bridget while telling them about hitting on Skeletor, I mean Donna. What a f*cking stud. I'd do him.
AMC is so stupid right now, I am not sure if watching it is good for my mental health. Fabio was arrested. Gucci Goo (Ryan) was arrested. Erica obviously did the shooting or knows who did it or helped Adam cover up the fact that Stuart is the one that is really dead. Kendall suspects Erica. Erica suspects Kendall. Hey, Bitches! Go get the hotties out of jail! Jesse is the stupidist cop I have ever had the displeasure of watching screw up EVERYTHING. Acting+Jesse+Horrible. Still no sign of Asylum Annie or Emma. Krystal and J.R. basically admitted that they tried to kill Adam. But Jesse the Wonder Cop was more concerned about "Haywords" whereabouts. What an ass.
On OLTL, the KAD story is almost over. Powell has Chloe/Hope and the sh*t is about to hit the fan. Natalie and Jared are going to get busted. Jessica is freaking out. OK. Why do people feel sorry for her? She stole the damn baby! Todd and Marty were both shocked to find out the baby was their grandchild and Todd even begged for mercy. Not for himself, but for everyone else. Tea and Blair argued while dying through the eppy and finally got down to the nitty gritty of the whole damn shebang: Blair still loves Todd. That's the big secret? Wow. We all knew that, yet, these two actresses made it well worth the wait. Seething and hissing to the death. I like that.
I am watching GH now and since it just started, I can't really talk about it. Talk at you tomorrow...same bitch time...same bitch channel
The Killer is...AMC 5-19-09
I haven't blogged in a few but finals are over and therefore, I can get back to doing what I do best. Sit on my ass and watch soaps. I have to begin my getting all things AMC off my chest.
Yesterday's eppy began as the one before it ended: with Kendall, Fabio, and Everyone else in Pine Valley aiming a gun at Adam/Stuart. Scary, menacing music playing in the background...Adam/Stuart staring at the ceiling as if he knew his demise was imminent. All of this so called "drama" took some time, so my mind started to wander. Suddenly, I imagined Kendall and Fabio simultaneously pulling their respective triggers. Then, the bullets slammed into random pieces of furniture and ricocheted, slamming into the heads of all involved. That, unfortunately, is not what went down. Adam ended up shot and simple deduction eliminates Krystal, Opal, and Aidan as the shooters. Jesse sprung into action and with his brilliant police skills, shot Tad (his best friend) in the head. Meanwhile, Aidan comes in and finds some blood. Then, Erica's pointy high heels came in and found some blood. Then J.R.'s feet went outside and found some blood. After everyone started to tend to Tad, Krystal and Opal came running in and discovered Adam/Stuart dead on the floor. No one seemed to care when they noticed Tad was down as well, and everyone went scrambling to "save" him. As Krystal and Opal went screwing up the "crime scene", 5 minutes went by before Jesse screamed in panic: "You shouldn't be out here! We must preserve the crime scene!" We were then subjected to 20 minutes of bad flashbacks and crappy dialogue, including this little ditty from Colby after she discovered that Adam/Stuart was dead: "But I want my daddy!" How old is she, 30? During all this "drama", everyone noticed that Emma was gone and that Asylum Annie probobly took her. Cut to the magical moving bookshelf-we couldn't see who was behind, but I will give myself one guess...So the killer is, um, who gives sh*t? AMC is killing itself.
Y&R was the epitomy of boring yesterday. Cane and Lily spoke in newlywed code the whole time which in my opinion is equal to a crapload of foreshadowing that I could have lived without. Jill continued to bitch and to be a bitch. Della Reese showed up and announced that Trya isn't a Hamilton after all. Devon's world is going to be turned upside down before we can say "cochlear implant". Olivia and Victor are even more worried about Ashley's mental state after Victor had Rafe check Hagatha the Housekeeper's phone records and discovered she did not make the Sabrina call. Ashley was understandably pissed. Adam played on Ashley's need for someone to believe her. I hope Adam and Ashley sleep together. At the wedding, Billy called Kevin the 'silver chipmunk' and finished by telling Kevin that he would always be a perverted psychopath. Mac was PISSED, telling Billy that she was very disapointed. Too bad she still sucks. Kevin proceeded to ask Daniel if he would like to enter a hokie pokie contest with him and they literally did the tango across the room. Billy and Chloe danced at the wedding, but I can't say I know why. I liked it though. Nick and Phyllis had sex and Phyllis talked the whole time. I wonder if Nick ever just wants to turn her over and shove an apple in her mouth. Jill found out about the memoirs movie. Of course, she is pissed.
SPOILERS:
Ashley will be hospitalized. Lauren will surprise Michael. Cane will take the Chancellor name. Amber gets shitty. At who? Not sure. Sharon will have a break down. Jana will become suspicious of Daniel. Paul will realize who Mary Jane really is..Mari Jo or Diane...Billy will dig up dirt on Monotone Mac. Amber will give advice to Chloe. My advice to Chloe: RUN! Someone will get married. Adam will get more loony. Victor's Jack plan will fail due to psycho Mary Jane's scheming. Kevin and Jana are headed for some kind of drama...
On OLTL yesterday, the KAD story remained front and center which means that Skankbrook was on my screen most of the time. She cried. She whined. Tea and Blair fought with Powell and Tea continued to call him a rapist and comparing the current situation to Skankbrook's rape. Tea then said this: "Are you going to pull out little Powell?" Skankbrook cried some more. Jack is so traumatized he won't talk and McPain can't get anything out of him. Rebecca kidnapped Chloe. Jessica and Brody were busted by Natalie and Jared the Juicy Hottie, who were in turn busted by Jessica and Brody the Bonehead. Natalie almost confessed the whole baby debacle to Jessica but somehow, in true soap fashion, a commercial break came on.
SPOILERS:
Cole and Starr will catch Kyle over at Todd's. Fish will take Kyle to the police station for questioning on John's command. Jack will tell all. Tea has a secret and it will be revealed. Was she raped too? Stacy will continue to manipulate Rex the Rock Brain.
On GH yesterday, Alexis accused nu-old Emily of all kinds of evil doings. Nu-old Emily told Alexis that she would refrain from having sex with Nikolas for 2 weeks so Alexis could dig up dirt on her. And then, apparently, it's going to be ON! These two are so hot my flipping screen was on fire for 3 whole seconds. Holly flirted with Luke and continued to manipulate him because he's, um, a man. Tracy came in and told her to "get away from my husband" and then she told Luke that he was "her idiot". Ethan and Lulu had a heart to heart about being possible sibs and Lulu realized with disgust that she may have kissed her own bro. She should have been disgusted with the original kiss from his ill-built wierd ass mouth. Michael woke up and he was shitty and throwing a tantrum. Yeah. That's what people who get a second chance always do!
Damn! I am finally done. I've got so much 'bitch drama' going on I almost forgot to blog! Until next time...same bitch time...same bitch channel....
Yesterday's eppy began as the one before it ended: with Kendall, Fabio, and Everyone else in Pine Valley aiming a gun at Adam/Stuart. Scary, menacing music playing in the background...Adam/Stuart staring at the ceiling as if he knew his demise was imminent. All of this so called "drama" took some time, so my mind started to wander. Suddenly, I imagined Kendall and Fabio simultaneously pulling their respective triggers. Then, the bullets slammed into random pieces of furniture and ricocheted, slamming into the heads of all involved. That, unfortunately, is not what went down. Adam ended up shot and simple deduction eliminates Krystal, Opal, and Aidan as the shooters. Jesse sprung into action and with his brilliant police skills, shot Tad (his best friend) in the head. Meanwhile, Aidan comes in and finds some blood. Then, Erica's pointy high heels came in and found some blood. Then J.R.'s feet went outside and found some blood. After everyone started to tend to Tad, Krystal and Opal came running in and discovered Adam/Stuart dead on the floor. No one seemed to care when they noticed Tad was down as well, and everyone went scrambling to "save" him. As Krystal and Opal went screwing up the "crime scene", 5 minutes went by before Jesse screamed in panic: "You shouldn't be out here! We must preserve the crime scene!" We were then subjected to 20 minutes of bad flashbacks and crappy dialogue, including this little ditty from Colby after she discovered that Adam/Stuart was dead: "But I want my daddy!" How old is she, 30? During all this "drama", everyone noticed that Emma was gone and that Asylum Annie probobly took her. Cut to the magical moving bookshelf-we couldn't see who was behind, but I will give myself one guess...So the killer is, um, who gives sh*t? AMC is killing itself.
Y&R was the epitomy of boring yesterday. Cane and Lily spoke in newlywed code the whole time which in my opinion is equal to a crapload of foreshadowing that I could have lived without. Jill continued to bitch and to be a bitch. Della Reese showed up and announced that Trya isn't a Hamilton after all. Devon's world is going to be turned upside down before we can say "cochlear implant". Olivia and Victor are even more worried about Ashley's mental state after Victor had Rafe check Hagatha the Housekeeper's phone records and discovered she did not make the Sabrina call. Ashley was understandably pissed. Adam played on Ashley's need for someone to believe her. I hope Adam and Ashley sleep together. At the wedding, Billy called Kevin the 'silver chipmunk' and finished by telling Kevin that he would always be a perverted psychopath. Mac was PISSED, telling Billy that she was very disapointed. Too bad she still sucks. Kevin proceeded to ask Daniel if he would like to enter a hokie pokie contest with him and they literally did the tango across the room. Billy and Chloe danced at the wedding, but I can't say I know why. I liked it though. Nick and Phyllis had sex and Phyllis talked the whole time. I wonder if Nick ever just wants to turn her over and shove an apple in her mouth. Jill found out about the memoirs movie. Of course, she is pissed.
SPOILERS:
Ashley will be hospitalized. Lauren will surprise Michael. Cane will take the Chancellor name. Amber gets shitty. At who? Not sure. Sharon will have a break down. Jana will become suspicious of Daniel. Paul will realize who Mary Jane really is..Mari Jo or Diane...Billy will dig up dirt on Monotone Mac. Amber will give advice to Chloe. My advice to Chloe: RUN! Someone will get married. Adam will get more loony. Victor's Jack plan will fail due to psycho Mary Jane's scheming. Kevin and Jana are headed for some kind of drama...
On OLTL yesterday, the KAD story remained front and center which means that Skankbrook was on my screen most of the time. She cried. She whined. Tea and Blair fought with Powell and Tea continued to call him a rapist and comparing the current situation to Skankbrook's rape. Tea then said this: "Are you going to pull out little Powell?" Skankbrook cried some more. Jack is so traumatized he won't talk and McPain can't get anything out of him. Rebecca kidnapped Chloe. Jessica and Brody were busted by Natalie and Jared the Juicy Hottie, who were in turn busted by Jessica and Brody the Bonehead. Natalie almost confessed the whole baby debacle to Jessica but somehow, in true soap fashion, a commercial break came on.
SPOILERS:
Cole and Starr will catch Kyle over at Todd's. Fish will take Kyle to the police station for questioning on John's command. Jack will tell all. Tea has a secret and it will be revealed. Was she raped too? Stacy will continue to manipulate Rex the Rock Brain.
On GH yesterday, Alexis accused nu-old Emily of all kinds of evil doings. Nu-old Emily told Alexis that she would refrain from having sex with Nikolas for 2 weeks so Alexis could dig up dirt on her. And then, apparently, it's going to be ON! These two are so hot my flipping screen was on fire for 3 whole seconds. Holly flirted with Luke and continued to manipulate him because he's, um, a man. Tracy came in and told her to "get away from my husband" and then she told Luke that he was "her idiot". Ethan and Lulu had a heart to heart about being possible sibs and Lulu realized with disgust that she may have kissed her own bro. She should have been disgusted with the original kiss from his ill-built wierd ass mouth. Michael woke up and he was shitty and throwing a tantrum. Yeah. That's what people who get a second chance always do!
Damn! I am finally done. I've got so much 'bitch drama' going on I almost forgot to blog! Until next time...same bitch time...same bitch channel....
Thursday, May 14, 2009
May You Have a Drama Free Wedding 5-14-09
Although I had a chance to watch Y&R this afternoon, I thought about it later, and I couldn't remember anything. So, I watched again along with all of our other shows and here's what I've got for you:
Y&R: Cane and Lily had an engagement party, or as I like to call it, a foreshadowing fiesta. Lily spit out some crap about how she knows Cane would never lie to her like Daniel did. Cut to Cane looking guilty as sin. Cane then went to the church to pray that everything works out telling God: "You know where I come from." Well sh*t! I'm glad someone does. I will give you one guess what they gave out as parting gifts at the party....You guessed it! Hair extensions and weave. Lily suddenly had long, beautiful flowing locks. So did Olivia, and Tyra, and Colleen...After Cane was finished groveling to God, he went back to the party and had what I can only describe as an awkward intertwining arm wine glass wrestling session with Lily, which I can only assume was meant to be cute. I was pondering something as I watched today's eppy: Are Colleen and Lily having a secret contest to see who can wear the shortest skirt? I'm just asking. Cane sauntered over to Katherine and pulled her to the side for a private convo. He then asked her to take back the inheritance that they had given him. Katherine denied this request, telling Cane to go "brighten up your dingy little bar". Um. In order to do that, he would have to kill Mac and bury her somewhere far, far away so she can never return. Cane then decided to give all the money to charity. That's the only way. Neil cornered Cane and welcomed him to the fold. Cane was feeling overwhelmed and went outside for some Winters-free air when Lily came out wondering what he was doing. He then pulled her into a long, lingering, passionate kiss that made me remember why I find him so damn attractive in the first place. Cane went over to Billy's and asked him to come to the wedding and to bury the hatchet and start over. Billy made a face and left us hanging with no f-ing answer. Jill, Gloria, and Jeffery were still in the Caymans freaking out about their insufficient funds when Jill decided to call Jack for help. Smelling yet another chance to take down Mr. Mumbles, Jack agrees to help even after Jill tells him he has to help Glo and Jeff as well. Three key points about these three: 1. Jill looks great with bangs and a little blonde. 2. Jeffery looked shockingly sexy in that blue polo shirt he's been sporting. 3. Gloria and her shirt are much too loud to be on my screen.
Summary: Jill, gooooooood. Jeffery, goooooood. Gloria, baaaaaaaaaaad.
Jill made me laugh out loud when she told Jeffery and Gloria that she would "get the hell off this island even if I have to swim home!" Adam was lurking around the ranch talking to and playing with himself as usual when Nicholas showed up with package in hand declaring it was on the porch with Adam's name on it. After some snappy remarks about what was actually in the damn box, Adam fed Nick some bull about the contents of the box being braille crap for his braille computer. He used a guilt trip on Nick and told him to get the hell out. Nick threw the box on the counter and left. Adam opened the box and inside was what I assumed to be either spy gear or surround sound. Whatever the hell it is, I'm sure its sole purpose is to scare the sh*t out of Ashley. I saw a preview in which the baby recorder was playing and Victor was looking at his blackberry in horror. Billy spent today's eppy doing the same thing he did on yesterday's eppy: Got drunk at Jimmy's while staring lustfully at Monotone Mac's flat white girl ass. Jack was off somewhere with Sharon when Chloe called him in a panic, requesting that he drag Billy's drunk horny ass home to her and Delia. Jack did go to the bar and try to talk to Billy about committment and love, yada yada yada. Jack eluded to the fact that Sharon is with child and that he was happy to have a second chance and Billy responded by saying this: "You're just a strange man, Jack." Jack got frustrated and left and Monotone Mac asked him if he "had enough?" to which Billy responded "Nope. Not yet." Sharon had a series of flashbacks of her and Billy getting drunk and talking about relationships. Mary Jane has gone loco! It is official. She tricked Phyllis away from Nick today and then tricked both Sharon and Nick into accidentally on purpose running into eachother. I guess that bitch can do magic too, because Sharon just happened to get a giant case of morning sickness in Nick's presence. Looks like Phyllis is starting to suspect Mary Jane's sanity. Here's hoping that she uses some of that crazy to her advantage while she has the chance. The Winters clan were all gathered at the engagement party having a splendid time when TKO Karen showed up, divorce papers in hand. At the same time, Ana somehow got lost in Olivia's giant "poof" of weave and panic rang out throughout the club...OK. That last part didn't happen. Anyway. Karen came strolling in at the same time that Tyra, America's Next Top Homewrecker, and Neil started dancing. Neil scrambled to spit some b.s. at Karen who told him to "just sign the damn papers". Before I could yell "punch that bastard again!" at the television, she was gone.
SPOILERS: Cane is a fraud. Tyra is a fraud and has been hiding it from Devon, Neil and Ana. Paul's suspicions of Mary Jane will become stronger so he will start to investigate her. Sharon and Billy's affair will finally be exposed. Jack will still want to raise the baby. I see an Abbott v. Abbott bro-war over the "baby mama" comin our way. Victor will hire a shrink for Ashley, proving he has no faith in her at all. Phyllis will tell Nick that she wants Sharon out of there lives for good. Nick will then make a bee line for Sharon, pull her into a passionate kiss and tell her he is divorcing Phyllis for real this time. The Chancellors and Abbotts and will cohost a BBQ and Raul will crash it and surprise everyone, especially Billy, by kissing Monotone Mac. It will come out that Raul and Mac were engaged post-Billy. Billy, of course, will be pissed. Chloe will see this and move back in with Esther, taking Delia with her.
AMC: David, reeling over the news about Marissa and Ian's surgery, went to Adam's to confront him. Adam told David he owed for everything he had done for David. David attempted to connect with little Adam who rejected his love. J.R. told David to leave and just leave the boy alone. Marissa forgave Krystal but stated that she was still pissed. Ryan and Fabio argued. Kendall cried. Stuart was on today and he had a nice father-son convo with Scott. I predict that someone will mistake Stuart for Adam and shoot him instead. J.R. later pulled out a gun and showed Scott, telling him that he would take care of Adam himself. Ian flatlined and David said he most likely wouldn't make it through the night. Kendall cried.
SPOILERS: Kendall will be a suspect in the Adam/Stuart shooting. Ryan will take her out of town and Fabio will cover their asses. Kendall will question Erica's role in the shooting, if any, and her guilt, if any. Liza has a secret and Fabio knows what it is. She will confide in Jake. Kendall will turn to Fabio for comfort. Translation: Hot Kendall and Fabio sex coming our way! Fabio will then run into Annie as she tries to get to Emma.
OLTL: Hope's body was exhumed today as Cole and Starr were at the prom reminiscing about the good 'ol times. Marcy, the desperate needy tart that she is, showed up at the grave site as if her presence was going to change anything or be of any forensic value to the Medical Examiner. I just want to say that I am sh*tty that Kristen Alderson and Brandon Buddy were RUDELY overlooked for the Daytime Emmys. Langston and Marrko were both feeling the nerves of virginity breaking, but they quickly became sidetracked when it became painfully obvious that a loud and boisterous Lola was high on drugs. The couple offered to drop Lola off at home before going off to the dirty debut. Lola declined the offer telling them to go have a good time on their special night, followed by "Don't get knocked up, okay?" Marrko and Langston went off to do it, said some cheesy crap, looked at eachother longingly and then that was it. Guess we have to wait til tomorrow to see the rest. Lola somehow managed to make it back to Dorians and after flying into Dorian's bedroom finding Ray and Dorian doing the hispanic horizontal their damn selves. Lola yelled out: "Are you two having sex? What's up with all the sex? Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex!" Um. Need something, Lola? John made a long awaited appearance today in a straight jacket. Even without arm capabilities, the man was able to head butt two cronies. But afterward, he seemed to realize that he still has no access to his arms. Over at the frat house, Todd was tied to the bed posts spread eagle while the ladies remained tied to chairs and gagged. Todd, even facing death, could not shut his pie hole and continued to enrage Powell more.
SPOILERS: Marty will get her complete memory back and finally reunite with Cole the way should have in the damn first place. Chloe will come up missing. I assume Lasso Boy (Kyle) will kidnap her. Jessica will become suspicious of Natalie and Jared. Kyle will turn the tables and get the upper hand over Stacy. Viki will realize something is going on with Jess/Bess.
I have not been able to watch GH but I do have some spoilers for you:
As we all know, Michael will wake up on tomorrow's eppy. Jason will pressure everyone to keep the deets of his shooting from Michael. Michael will be pissed at Carly and move in with Sonny prompting Carly to move in with Sonny as well. As Michael remains bitter towards Carly, Carly will become bitter towards Jax. Johnny and Olivia will start their torrid affair. OK. I'm willing to watch that. Claudia will find out and confront Olivia. Jason will get closer to Sam. Tracy makes a confession to Lulu and then learns Holly's true motives.
Y&R: Cane and Lily had an engagement party, or as I like to call it, a foreshadowing fiesta. Lily spit out some crap about how she knows Cane would never lie to her like Daniel did. Cut to Cane looking guilty as sin. Cane then went to the church to pray that everything works out telling God: "You know where I come from." Well sh*t! I'm glad someone does. I will give you one guess what they gave out as parting gifts at the party....You guessed it! Hair extensions and weave. Lily suddenly had long, beautiful flowing locks. So did Olivia, and Tyra, and Colleen...After Cane was finished groveling to God, he went back to the party and had what I can only describe as an awkward intertwining arm wine glass wrestling session with Lily, which I can only assume was meant to be cute. I was pondering something as I watched today's eppy: Are Colleen and Lily having a secret contest to see who can wear the shortest skirt? I'm just asking. Cane sauntered over to Katherine and pulled her to the side for a private convo. He then asked her to take back the inheritance that they had given him. Katherine denied this request, telling Cane to go "brighten up your dingy little bar". Um. In order to do that, he would have to kill Mac and bury her somewhere far, far away so she can never return. Cane then decided to give all the money to charity. That's the only way. Neil cornered Cane and welcomed him to the fold. Cane was feeling overwhelmed and went outside for some Winters-free air when Lily came out wondering what he was doing. He then pulled her into a long, lingering, passionate kiss that made me remember why I find him so damn attractive in the first place. Cane went over to Billy's and asked him to come to the wedding and to bury the hatchet and start over. Billy made a face and left us hanging with no f-ing answer. Jill, Gloria, and Jeffery were still in the Caymans freaking out about their insufficient funds when Jill decided to call Jack for help. Smelling yet another chance to take down Mr. Mumbles, Jack agrees to help even after Jill tells him he has to help Glo and Jeff as well. Three key points about these three: 1. Jill looks great with bangs and a little blonde. 2. Jeffery looked shockingly sexy in that blue polo shirt he's been sporting. 3. Gloria and her shirt are much too loud to be on my screen.
Summary: Jill, gooooooood. Jeffery, goooooood. Gloria, baaaaaaaaaaad.
Jill made me laugh out loud when she told Jeffery and Gloria that she would "get the hell off this island even if I have to swim home!" Adam was lurking around the ranch talking to and playing with himself as usual when Nicholas showed up with package in hand declaring it was on the porch with Adam's name on it. After some snappy remarks about what was actually in the damn box, Adam fed Nick some bull about the contents of the box being braille crap for his braille computer. He used a guilt trip on Nick and told him to get the hell out. Nick threw the box on the counter and left. Adam opened the box and inside was what I assumed to be either spy gear or surround sound. Whatever the hell it is, I'm sure its sole purpose is to scare the sh*t out of Ashley. I saw a preview in which the baby recorder was playing and Victor was looking at his blackberry in horror. Billy spent today's eppy doing the same thing he did on yesterday's eppy: Got drunk at Jimmy's while staring lustfully at Monotone Mac's flat white girl ass. Jack was off somewhere with Sharon when Chloe called him in a panic, requesting that he drag Billy's drunk horny ass home to her and Delia. Jack did go to the bar and try to talk to Billy about committment and love, yada yada yada. Jack eluded to the fact that Sharon is with child and that he was happy to have a second chance and Billy responded by saying this: "You're just a strange man, Jack." Jack got frustrated and left and Monotone Mac asked him if he "had enough?" to which Billy responded "Nope. Not yet." Sharon had a series of flashbacks of her and Billy getting drunk and talking about relationships. Mary Jane has gone loco! It is official. She tricked Phyllis away from Nick today and then tricked both Sharon and Nick into accidentally on purpose running into eachother. I guess that bitch can do magic too, because Sharon just happened to get a giant case of morning sickness in Nick's presence. Looks like Phyllis is starting to suspect Mary Jane's sanity. Here's hoping that she uses some of that crazy to her advantage while she has the chance. The Winters clan were all gathered at the engagement party having a splendid time when TKO Karen showed up, divorce papers in hand. At the same time, Ana somehow got lost in Olivia's giant "poof" of weave and panic rang out throughout the club...OK. That last part didn't happen. Anyway. Karen came strolling in at the same time that Tyra, America's Next Top Homewrecker, and Neil started dancing. Neil scrambled to spit some b.s. at Karen who told him to "just sign the damn papers". Before I could yell "punch that bastard again!" at the television, she was gone.
SPOILERS: Cane is a fraud. Tyra is a fraud and has been hiding it from Devon, Neil and Ana. Paul's suspicions of Mary Jane will become stronger so he will start to investigate her. Sharon and Billy's affair will finally be exposed. Jack will still want to raise the baby. I see an Abbott v. Abbott bro-war over the "baby mama" comin our way. Victor will hire a shrink for Ashley, proving he has no faith in her at all. Phyllis will tell Nick that she wants Sharon out of there lives for good. Nick will then make a bee line for Sharon, pull her into a passionate kiss and tell her he is divorcing Phyllis for real this time. The Chancellors and Abbotts and will cohost a BBQ and Raul will crash it and surprise everyone, especially Billy, by kissing Monotone Mac. It will come out that Raul and Mac were engaged post-Billy. Billy, of course, will be pissed. Chloe will see this and move back in with Esther, taking Delia with her.
AMC: David, reeling over the news about Marissa and Ian's surgery, went to Adam's to confront him. Adam told David he owed for everything he had done for David. David attempted to connect with little Adam who rejected his love. J.R. told David to leave and just leave the boy alone. Marissa forgave Krystal but stated that she was still pissed. Ryan and Fabio argued. Kendall cried. Stuart was on today and he had a nice father-son convo with Scott. I predict that someone will mistake Stuart for Adam and shoot him instead. J.R. later pulled out a gun and showed Scott, telling him that he would take care of Adam himself. Ian flatlined and David said he most likely wouldn't make it through the night. Kendall cried.
SPOILERS: Kendall will be a suspect in the Adam/Stuart shooting. Ryan will take her out of town and Fabio will cover their asses. Kendall will question Erica's role in the shooting, if any, and her guilt, if any. Liza has a secret and Fabio knows what it is. She will confide in Jake. Kendall will turn to Fabio for comfort. Translation: Hot Kendall and Fabio sex coming our way! Fabio will then run into Annie as she tries to get to Emma.
OLTL: Hope's body was exhumed today as Cole and Starr were at the prom reminiscing about the good 'ol times. Marcy, the desperate needy tart that she is, showed up at the grave site as if her presence was going to change anything or be of any forensic value to the Medical Examiner. I just want to say that I am sh*tty that Kristen Alderson and Brandon Buddy were RUDELY overlooked for the Daytime Emmys. Langston and Marrko were both feeling the nerves of virginity breaking, but they quickly became sidetracked when it became painfully obvious that a loud and boisterous Lola was high on drugs. The couple offered to drop Lola off at home before going off to the dirty debut. Lola declined the offer telling them to go have a good time on their special night, followed by "Don't get knocked up, okay?" Marrko and Langston went off to do it, said some cheesy crap, looked at eachother longingly and then that was it. Guess we have to wait til tomorrow to see the rest. Lola somehow managed to make it back to Dorians and after flying into Dorian's bedroom finding Ray and Dorian doing the hispanic horizontal their damn selves. Lola yelled out: "Are you two having sex? What's up with all the sex? Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex!" Um. Need something, Lola? John made a long awaited appearance today in a straight jacket. Even without arm capabilities, the man was able to head butt two cronies. But afterward, he seemed to realize that he still has no access to his arms. Over at the frat house, Todd was tied to the bed posts spread eagle while the ladies remained tied to chairs and gagged. Todd, even facing death, could not shut his pie hole and continued to enrage Powell more.
SPOILERS: Marty will get her complete memory back and finally reunite with Cole the way should have in the damn first place. Chloe will come up missing. I assume Lasso Boy (Kyle) will kidnap her. Jessica will become suspicious of Natalie and Jared. Kyle will turn the tables and get the upper hand over Stacy. Viki will realize something is going on with Jess/Bess.
I have not been able to watch GH but I do have some spoilers for you:
As we all know, Michael will wake up on tomorrow's eppy. Jason will pressure everyone to keep the deets of his shooting from Michael. Michael will be pissed at Carly and move in with Sonny prompting Carly to move in with Sonny as well. As Michael remains bitter towards Carly, Carly will become bitter towards Jax. Johnny and Olivia will start their torrid affair. OK. I'm willing to watch that. Claudia will find out and confront Olivia. Jason will get closer to Sam. Tracy makes a confession to Lulu and then learns Holly's true motives.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Blind Bracelet Slippage & Condom Poking 5-12-09
Y&R was mad with the creepy factor today as Jack decided to break things off with Mary Jane. She was obviously stunned, saying she couldn't believe Jack would re-wreck his reputation by taking back his "klepto wife". Mary Jane quickly recovered told Jack she would see him at work and promptly kicked his ass out of her room. She made a series of facial expressions after the door closed behind him that made me think that this may be the beginning of the end for my favorite misunderstood heroine, Sharon. Phyllis and Nicholas were having lunch at the club and Jack and Sharon arrived. Phyllis and Nicholas both registered shock and awe at the news that Sharon would be moving back in with Jack, for very different reasons of course. Later, Phyllis cornered Sharon and asked her what the hell was really going on. Sharon stayed mum of course. Phyllis and Mary Jane hooked up at the bar and discussed the possibilities....Amber and Daniel were still celebrating from the big art sale but all I noticed was that Amber was grunting a lot. Random and odd. Mr. FBI asked Daniel to speak in private and asked him to paint a forgery to trick some art theives. Then he told Daniel to keep it a secret from Amber. Amber, The Nosy One, asked him about the convo and Daniel sidetracked her with some PDA which she followed up by tickling him and grunting some more. Adam and Rafe had a nice discussion, or pity party, for Adam and the Rafe decided to go and confront Victor. Victor brushed him off with Mr. Mumbles style and promptly kicked him out. Ashley went to Adam and they made friends. Tsk, Tsk Ashley. Is it just me or does Ashley Abbott have a fetish for homicidal maniacs? Do the research, you shall see. Anyway, while Ashley was downstairs tooting Adam's horn to Victor, Adam was upstairs having a series of flashbacks that showcase the fact that he has been fasting for months. After the flashbacks, Adam slipped off his bracelet, crammed his shoes on his feet and promptly jumped out of the damn window. Adam went creeping into the garden, past the creepy Sabrina statue and then dug a voice recorder out of the ground. He pushed play and a baby started crying. So now we know for sure. We all knew it was Adam, we just weren't sure how. Paul proposed to Nikki, who got scared and ran away. After having a heart to heart with Katherine, Nikki found Paul and accepted his proposal with an ice cream cone. After this scene, I was sold. I am totally 100% invested in this relationship and I am not ashamed to admit it.
All 19 minutes of today's epidode was devoted to hotties Bill and Owen. Don Diamont made his first appearance as Bill Jr. and DAMN! I can tell he has been working out and the goatee thing might just work out for me after all. Bill Jr. worked with Stephanie to set up her podcast and she started it off with a bang calling it the start of her "life after Donna". Owen gave Bridget relationship advice. Bridget was wearing a very cute pink coat. Owen realized that he might actually have feelings Bridget and I think he went over to Jackie's to tell her so. Jackie was in the bathtub and she told him to get naked and get in there with her. Owen tried to resist, but Jackie was having none of it. I stopped paying attention after that because I found myself concentrating more on Jackie's hair, or whatever it is, more than anything else.
OLTL was full of good laughs today. Natalie and Jared were both having there bachelor parties today and right before Jared's, the stripper that Rex hired called and cancelled. Rex proved once again that he is the biggest idiot on daytime television when he looked at Stacy in a panick and said this: "Where the hell am I going to find a stripper in a half an hour?" Stacy, being the good little skank that she is, volunteered and put on her best clown face for the occasion. At the party, I was appalled not at Stacy jumping out of the cake, but at the fact that she did to my favorite Keri Hilson song. Stacy the Skank then, ignoring the groom, slithered over to Rex and shimmied all up on him for a hot minute or two. All the while, Rex did what he always does when Stacy is that close to him, looked like he wanted to wretch all over the damn place. It finally dawned on Stacy that it might be a good idea to pretend that she was there for Jared and she went on over there and kissed him on the forehead. Meanwhile, over at Natalie's party, the male stripper shows up to perform only to be lured away by Kyle with the promise of more money. The stripper music started and who should come out but Kyle his damn self, dressed in some chaps and a cowboy hat. Kyle, who shall now be called Lasso Boy for obvious reasons, proceed to shake his groove thing causing all the women in Llanview to fall to the floor after massive coronaries. Kyle then lassoed Natalie which was sexy in its in own right. Later Natalie cornered him and assured him he would get his damn money. Starr and Langston were having one of their sisterly convos when the topic turned to birth control. Starr became uncomfortable and offered to do Langston's hair. As they ran off to play beauty salon, Lola entered and stole the french jimmy case that Dorian gave Langston and before I could yell "not another teen pregnancy!", she was poking holes in the damn condoms while talking to herself on Myface. What an idiotic rip off of a social website name. Anyway, Langston looked really cute and I am actually excited to see how this is going to play out. Dorian called Marrko out on Operation Deflower and assured him that as long as he and Langston were safe, she was on board. Tomorrow is the big start of the prom. I won't be able to watch tomorrow's eppy at it's original time because my daughter is doing a Pussy Cat Dolls show herself, in the form of the Hoedown Throwdown.
Short blog today but it's all good. I'll bitch at you later...some bitch time...some bitch channel...
All 19 minutes of today's epidode was devoted to hotties Bill and Owen. Don Diamont made his first appearance as Bill Jr. and DAMN! I can tell he has been working out and the goatee thing might just work out for me after all. Bill Jr. worked with Stephanie to set up her podcast and she started it off with a bang calling it the start of her "life after Donna". Owen gave Bridget relationship advice. Bridget was wearing a very cute pink coat. Owen realized that he might actually have feelings Bridget and I think he went over to Jackie's to tell her so. Jackie was in the bathtub and she told him to get naked and get in there with her. Owen tried to resist, but Jackie was having none of it. I stopped paying attention after that because I found myself concentrating more on Jackie's hair, or whatever it is, more than anything else.
OLTL was full of good laughs today. Natalie and Jared were both having there bachelor parties today and right before Jared's, the stripper that Rex hired called and cancelled. Rex proved once again that he is the biggest idiot on daytime television when he looked at Stacy in a panick and said this: "Where the hell am I going to find a stripper in a half an hour?" Stacy, being the good little skank that she is, volunteered and put on her best clown face for the occasion. At the party, I was appalled not at Stacy jumping out of the cake, but at the fact that she did to my favorite Keri Hilson song. Stacy the Skank then, ignoring the groom, slithered over to Rex and shimmied all up on him for a hot minute or two. All the while, Rex did what he always does when Stacy is that close to him, looked like he wanted to wretch all over the damn place. It finally dawned on Stacy that it might be a good idea to pretend that she was there for Jared and she went on over there and kissed him on the forehead. Meanwhile, over at Natalie's party, the male stripper shows up to perform only to be lured away by Kyle with the promise of more money. The stripper music started and who should come out but Kyle his damn self, dressed in some chaps and a cowboy hat. Kyle, who shall now be called Lasso Boy for obvious reasons, proceed to shake his groove thing causing all the women in Llanview to fall to the floor after massive coronaries. Kyle then lassoed Natalie which was sexy in its in own right. Later Natalie cornered him and assured him he would get his damn money. Starr and Langston were having one of their sisterly convos when the topic turned to birth control. Starr became uncomfortable and offered to do Langston's hair. As they ran off to play beauty salon, Lola entered and stole the french jimmy case that Dorian gave Langston and before I could yell "not another teen pregnancy!", she was poking holes in the damn condoms while talking to herself on Myface. What an idiotic rip off of a social website name. Anyway, Langston looked really cute and I am actually excited to see how this is going to play out. Dorian called Marrko out on Operation Deflower and assured him that as long as he and Langston were safe, she was on board. Tomorrow is the big start of the prom. I won't be able to watch tomorrow's eppy at it's original time because my daughter is doing a Pussy Cat Dolls show herself, in the form of the Hoedown Throwdown.
Short blog today but it's all good. I'll bitch at you later...some bitch time...some bitch channel...
One Hell of an Acid Trip and French Condoms 5-12-09
Y&R started yesterday with Adam stabbing himself in the eye with the hypo full of botox. The doctor proceeded to begin his examination, and Adam told him that the Doctor would know all his secrets once he shined the light in his eyes. However, the clueless doctor informed Victor that Adam's condition was worsening. Later, Rafe came by and Adam was frantically looking for the box containing the botox hypo. Downstairs, Hagatha the Housekeeper was telling Ashley that getting rid of her wouldn't stop what ever crazy sh*t was going on in Ashley's head. I wonder who stole the hypo from the botox box? Ashley, Victor, or someone else? Chloe and Lily continued their verbal catfight with Lily pointing out that Chloe is the only one that is in a "soulless marriage". Cane slammed Chloe later, pointing out that marriage is her choice weapon of destruction. Wonder Dad Billy stopped sniffing up Mac's you-know-what long enough to go get Delia from an ailing nanny. At the art show, Daniel was stunned at the amount of the check that he received from the FBI Agent/Art Buyer. When it suddenly occurred to him just how successful the show had actually been, he scooped Jana up, bestowing her with compliments. For a hot second, I thought they were going to kiss. I happen to know that if you were dreaming of a Jana/Daniel/Amber/Kevin sex-a-thon, you can keep dreaming. The PTB are happy with our favorite foursome. Thank god for small favors. I do hear that others will be involved in their relationships; however, nothing earth shattering will come of it.
Amber and Kevin were over at Katherine's getting the verbal bitch slap from Jill and the Governor. Jill and Katherine went off to another room to argue and Kevin and Amber were banished to the outside, waiting for news of their fate. Murphy and the Governor stayed behind, reminiscing about their time in Vietnam, respectfully. Murphy whipped out some old school war heat and presented it the Governor as a gift. I forgot to mention that Jill took the Governor away for a "private" converation and when they returned, Jill was reapplying her lip gloss and the Governor's idiot ass was grinning the good grin. Regardless of what happened behind closed doors, the Governor granted Kevin and Amber clemency and the duo met up with Daniel and Jana and they had a big "hooray for us" party. Jill's face crashed when the Governor made his decision and she said: "You're doing what!?" Kevin asked Amber if she knew that Jill was a bitch. Um. News flash Kev! We ALL know that.
SPOILERS:
Word has it that Melody Thomas Scott is going to be put on recurring status because the show cannot afford to pay her ass anymore. I'm thinking this is not the best idea. Rafe will confront Victor on his treatment of Hagatha the Housekeeper and Adam the Botox Baby. Sharon will move back into the Abbott mansion, prompting Jack to tell Mary Jane that whatever they started is already over. Mary Jane will act nonchalant, but inside she will be seething and therefore, plotting and scheming. I say bring on the crazy! Sharon moving in with Jack is going to make Phyllis suspicious and she will ask Sharon what the hell is really going on. Nina is going to turn Katherine's memoirs into a movie. I, for one, cannot wait for the sh*t to hit the fan when Jill finds out. My predicition, although vague, will come true. The FBI Agent will ask Daniel to help him nap some art thieves. This storyline better be worth it or I am going to be pissed the hell off. It was only a couple of years ago when we forced to deal with the Brad is George debale and all the art b.s. that followed. Colleen will spill Newman secrets to Jack. Ashley will befriend Adam. Oh snap! Prediction Time! Adam and Ashley will have an affair and Victor will catch them in the act, causing Victor to blow up the whole damn town. OK. Maybe it's not going to go down exactly like that, but you get my drift. Billy will continue to be obsessed over Mac. I can't wait until she gives in and he gets what he wants. I predict he will go running back to Chloe once the conquest is over. Nick will "be there" for Sharon. AGAIN. I am sure that the Red Headed She Devil will be just pleased as punch. Daniel will attempt to keep his snitchin a secret from Amber. Um. Good luck with that.
On B&B yesterday, Rick was kissing Steffy's ass and she was being a bitch to him when he decided to tell her he was taking a vow of celibacy. He was lying of course. Rick was just trying to get in her pants again. Taylor opened her big collagen filled lips and spilled the invalid marriage beans. Bizarro Ken and Mega Slut Barbie decided the best thing to do right then and there was to go have hot, steamy, angry sex in his office. I must admit this actually made me uncomfortable. I have been watching these two go at it almost all my life and I felt like I needed to leave my own living room. Look for Don Diamont to break bad on today's eppy!
SPOILERS:
Stephanie publishes a webcast entitled "The Logan Chronicles". This will most definately prove to be filled with slandering verbal bitch slaps for all Logans in the immediate vicinity. Rick will put on some b.s. tribute to Phoebe which will score him more booty points with Steffy. Then Rick will give Steffy some sort of gift that will cause Ridge to freak the hell out. Looks like this sh*t isn't going away anytime soon. Bill and Donna will meet and sparks will fly. Whip is definately returning!
I only caught half of yesterday's eppy of AMC, but here's what I saw:
David was bitching and arguing with anyone and everyone that was standing by him and Zach, (who shall now be called Fabio until he gets a damn haircut), came running in telling him to get his ass to the hospital and save Ian. Ryan showed up, looking yummy I might add, and Fabio yelled at him too. Annie was on a mission and although I knew she was going to restrain Aidan in some way, I had no idea that she was going to knock his australian ass down the stairs. She then tied him to a pole and said: "I love you, but I gotta go." He tried to convince her to untie him, but she left his ass there. Krystal's hair looked really cute while she sat and talked to Babe's grave. Forgive me people, but does that sh*t really happen? Regardless, Marissa overheard and wanted to know what the big secret was. The heart valve inventor committed suicide and more of Adam's foes began to gather at the mansion.
On OLTL yesterday, Bo told Nora that he wanted to kiss her the day that Marcie caught them in the parking lot. Nora and Bo decided to just remain friends and as they embraced, Clint walked in and started to behave like my four year old, or worse. I have some new squish names for this trio: Bora and Blintz, for obvious reasons. Langston and Starr were hanging out in the foyer again when Langston loudly announced that she and Marrko were going to go all the way. Dorian overheard and after a shouting match, conceded to what she could not stop and slipped Lang some jimmy hats from France, complete with fancy carrying case. Marrko was at the drug store having many conversations regarding rubbers, condoms, breath mints, and galoshes with the church lady and Cole. Powell and Rebecca, the creepy crazies, are in there own little world and Jack can see through the b.s. he told Starr he loved her over the phone which prompted Starr to figure out that something bad must be going on over at Todd's.
SPOILERS:
Natalie will assure Kyle that he will get his $100,000 to keep his damn mouth shut. After Stacy busts out of the cake at Jared's bachelor party, she will give Rex a private dance and Gigi will get super pissed. I bet you $5 she won't do a damn thing about it so who gives a sh*t? Cole and Starr will go to the prom together. Lola will drop some acid at the prom festivities. Here's hoping for some half assed camera effects.
On GH yesterday, Michael started crashing and everyone else started freaking out, understandably. Tracy was freaking out somewhere else over Lulu and Ethan's obvious attraction for one another. Maxie and Spinelli continue to search for Kate, um, I mean the Crimson traitor. Jason was on the rooftop clearing his head when Sam, the magically appearing whore, suddenly appeared on the rooftop as well. Jason cried on Sam's shoulder about Michael and then we were treated to what we have all been waiting for. Oh. No. That didn't happen. What did happen? Not a g*d damn thing! 5 minutes of my life-GONE.
SPOILERS:
Claudia will lose her baby and spill the beans about everyone's involvement in the cover up. To me this translates into: Sonny is about to be one angry mutha and everyone in Port Charles better run and hide. Fast. Molly will be aged and recast and rumor has it that she will have an inappropriate relationship with Ric before he leaves for B&B and greener pastures. Johnny and Olivia are going to start doing the shag nasty in our very immediate future. This whole build up for Luke and Ethan has all been for nothing. They are not father and son. The Mayor will hire Spam to spy on his wife because he believes that old-Lily is cheating on him.
OMG Finally! I am done. Til whenever peeps, I got finals this week. Some bitch time...some bitch channel....
Amber and Kevin were over at Katherine's getting the verbal bitch slap from Jill and the Governor. Jill and Katherine went off to another room to argue and Kevin and Amber were banished to the outside, waiting for news of their fate. Murphy and the Governor stayed behind, reminiscing about their time in Vietnam, respectfully. Murphy whipped out some old school war heat and presented it the Governor as a gift. I forgot to mention that Jill took the Governor away for a "private" converation and when they returned, Jill was reapplying her lip gloss and the Governor's idiot ass was grinning the good grin. Regardless of what happened behind closed doors, the Governor granted Kevin and Amber clemency and the duo met up with Daniel and Jana and they had a big "hooray for us" party. Jill's face crashed when the Governor made his decision and she said: "You're doing what!?" Kevin asked Amber if she knew that Jill was a bitch. Um. News flash Kev! We ALL know that.
SPOILERS:
Word has it that Melody Thomas Scott is going to be put on recurring status because the show cannot afford to pay her ass anymore. I'm thinking this is not the best idea. Rafe will confront Victor on his treatment of Hagatha the Housekeeper and Adam the Botox Baby. Sharon will move back into the Abbott mansion, prompting Jack to tell Mary Jane that whatever they started is already over. Mary Jane will act nonchalant, but inside she will be seething and therefore, plotting and scheming. I say bring on the crazy! Sharon moving in with Jack is going to make Phyllis suspicious and she will ask Sharon what the hell is really going on. Nina is going to turn Katherine's memoirs into a movie. I, for one, cannot wait for the sh*t to hit the fan when Jill finds out. My predicition, although vague, will come true. The FBI Agent will ask Daniel to help him nap some art thieves. This storyline better be worth it or I am going to be pissed the hell off. It was only a couple of years ago when we forced to deal with the Brad is George debale and all the art b.s. that followed. Colleen will spill Newman secrets to Jack. Ashley will befriend Adam. Oh snap! Prediction Time! Adam and Ashley will have an affair and Victor will catch them in the act, causing Victor to blow up the whole damn town. OK. Maybe it's not going to go down exactly like that, but you get my drift. Billy will continue to be obsessed over Mac. I can't wait until she gives in and he gets what he wants. I predict he will go running back to Chloe once the conquest is over. Nick will "be there" for Sharon. AGAIN. I am sure that the Red Headed She Devil will be just pleased as punch. Daniel will attempt to keep his snitchin a secret from Amber. Um. Good luck with that.
On B&B yesterday, Rick was kissing Steffy's ass and she was being a bitch to him when he decided to tell her he was taking a vow of celibacy. He was lying of course. Rick was just trying to get in her pants again. Taylor opened her big collagen filled lips and spilled the invalid marriage beans. Bizarro Ken and Mega Slut Barbie decided the best thing to do right then and there was to go have hot, steamy, angry sex in his office. I must admit this actually made me uncomfortable. I have been watching these two go at it almost all my life and I felt like I needed to leave my own living room. Look for Don Diamont to break bad on today's eppy!
SPOILERS:
Stephanie publishes a webcast entitled "The Logan Chronicles". This will most definately prove to be filled with slandering verbal bitch slaps for all Logans in the immediate vicinity. Rick will put on some b.s. tribute to Phoebe which will score him more booty points with Steffy. Then Rick will give Steffy some sort of gift that will cause Ridge to freak the hell out. Looks like this sh*t isn't going away anytime soon. Bill and Donna will meet and sparks will fly. Whip is definately returning!
I only caught half of yesterday's eppy of AMC, but here's what I saw:
David was bitching and arguing with anyone and everyone that was standing by him and Zach, (who shall now be called Fabio until he gets a damn haircut), came running in telling him to get his ass to the hospital and save Ian. Ryan showed up, looking yummy I might add, and Fabio yelled at him too. Annie was on a mission and although I knew she was going to restrain Aidan in some way, I had no idea that she was going to knock his australian ass down the stairs. She then tied him to a pole and said: "I love you, but I gotta go." He tried to convince her to untie him, but she left his ass there. Krystal's hair looked really cute while she sat and talked to Babe's grave. Forgive me people, but does that sh*t really happen? Regardless, Marissa overheard and wanted to know what the big secret was. The heart valve inventor committed suicide and more of Adam's foes began to gather at the mansion.
On OLTL yesterday, Bo told Nora that he wanted to kiss her the day that Marcie caught them in the parking lot. Nora and Bo decided to just remain friends and as they embraced, Clint walked in and started to behave like my four year old, or worse. I have some new squish names for this trio: Bora and Blintz, for obvious reasons. Langston and Starr were hanging out in the foyer again when Langston loudly announced that she and Marrko were going to go all the way. Dorian overheard and after a shouting match, conceded to what she could not stop and slipped Lang some jimmy hats from France, complete with fancy carrying case. Marrko was at the drug store having many conversations regarding rubbers, condoms, breath mints, and galoshes with the church lady and Cole. Powell and Rebecca, the creepy crazies, are in there own little world and Jack can see through the b.s. he told Starr he loved her over the phone which prompted Starr to figure out that something bad must be going on over at Todd's.
SPOILERS:
Natalie will assure Kyle that he will get his $100,000 to keep his damn mouth shut. After Stacy busts out of the cake at Jared's bachelor party, she will give Rex a private dance and Gigi will get super pissed. I bet you $5 she won't do a damn thing about it so who gives a sh*t? Cole and Starr will go to the prom together. Lola will drop some acid at the prom festivities. Here's hoping for some half assed camera effects.
On GH yesterday, Michael started crashing and everyone else started freaking out, understandably. Tracy was freaking out somewhere else over Lulu and Ethan's obvious attraction for one another. Maxie and Spinelli continue to search for Kate, um, I mean the Crimson traitor. Jason was on the rooftop clearing his head when Sam, the magically appearing whore, suddenly appeared on the rooftop as well. Jason cried on Sam's shoulder about Michael and then we were treated to what we have all been waiting for. Oh. No. That didn't happen. What did happen? Not a g*d damn thing! 5 minutes of my life-GONE.
SPOILERS:
Claudia will lose her baby and spill the beans about everyone's involvement in the cover up. To me this translates into: Sonny is about to be one angry mutha and everyone in Port Charles better run and hide. Fast. Molly will be aged and recast and rumor has it that she will have an inappropriate relationship with Ric before he leaves for B&B and greener pastures. Johnny and Olivia are going to start doing the shag nasty in our very immediate future. This whole build up for Luke and Ethan has all been for nothing. They are not father and son. The Mayor will hire Spam to spy on his wife because he believes that old-Lily is cheating on him.
OMG Finally! I am done. Til whenever peeps, I got finals this week. Some bitch time...some bitch channel....
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