I tried to stay awake last night for some late night soap viewing. Alas. I am getting to old for these all nighters! Never the less, I was able to catch my missed eppies from yesterday and here's what I got:
AMC: Amanda was all packed and ready to bolt out of Pine Valley when Opal caught her. They had a lovely conversation about love and Jake and the baby. I'm sorry. I don't understand how anyone can say their lines seriously while looking at Jill Larson's wardrobe. Gawd! Adam and Krystal were discussing the "sudden life long secret" and Krystal told Adam that he better keep his mouth shut about Marissa or she was going to kill him. That's twice that someone threatened to kill him this week. I smell a set up. Erica walked up at the ass end of the conversation Krystal stormed off and Erica wanted to know what was up. So, death threats be damned, Adam told her. Scott and J.R. were STILL arguing over the heart valve. David refuses to do the surgery on Ian because it is too risky; however, he had no problem whatsoever tooting his own horn. Kendall cried and whined all while managing to look like someone's grandma. J.R. and Marissa decided to start over and I can see that a new sordid love affair will soon begin. I am sure it will be filled with memories of Babe and alcohol. I'm just guessing. Scott ran up panicking about, you guessed it, the heart valve. If Scott loves the heart valve so much why doesnt he just have the damn thing surgically injected into himself and shut the hell about it! Zach and Kendall were at the hospital discussing Ian's condition when Zach turned it into a "feel sorry for me" party. Kendall did the honorable thing and walked away. Good girl. Scott ran into Zach and tried to talk to him. Zach responded by saying: "Run along now and leave us alone." Frankie's hands were crushed in Iraq and Randy decided to go to Germany to be with him. Angie was STILL flipping out. The best part of the show was when Amanda was somewhere listening to someone else watch telenovas on her cell phone. Over at Opal's, Jake was watching the same telenova and explaining to Opal what the hell was going on. Opal told Jake that him and Amanda love each other and that the rest is all "buzz buzz static".
Steve Burton is not only hot and sexy, but I can actually believe in his character most of the time. GH gave us access to Jason sitting in Michael's room reminiscing about Michael's original accident and he busted a tear. Still not as great as him catching free falling whores, but whatever. The whole surgery storyline has taken over Port Charles with Patrick and Dr. Wrong at odds over the best procedure times. Jason knows the truth, and he will convince Carly to do the right thing at the risk of pissing off Jax. Maxie needs help to uncover some mystery so she asked Spinelli for help. Spin flatly refused, calling Maxie the "Faithless One". Lulu showed up moments later and, fearing for her own job, also asked Spinelli for help. He agrees to help "Fair Lulu" and tells Maxie he's only helping because Lulu asked him too. I am quickly becoming a fan of Lulu despite my previous claims of hatred. I guess she grew on me when I wasn't paying attention. Spinelli's reference to Johnny as the "dark prince" never gets old. Claudia didn't lose her baby. Damn. Rebecca gave Nikolas a massage. Ethan and Luke got the DNA results. But of course, the results were not revealed. Lucky threw more tantrum over Ethan's paternity and Luke's loyalty to Laura. Then Lucky kindly tried to strangle Ethan.
Wouldn't it be great if Jason was actually Michael's dad after all these years? You know you want it to be true...
I have already been privy to most of today's eppy of Y&R so here's what I know:
Sharon and Billy were discussing her pregancy and how it basically sucks for everyone involved. Billy proved who he was truly concerned about by saying this: "I can't believe this is happening to me again." Billy is a Grade-A Asshole. However, I cannot fathom my favorite show without him. Nick went to the Newman ranch and told Victor that he would be happy to be COO of Newman. Adam was once again lurking at the top of the stairs eavesdropping. Why don't they just put a damn lazy boy up there for him? A clueless Nick proceeded to tell a clueless Victor not to trust Adam. Nick then took Summer to the same park that Sharon dreamt about yesterday and was pushing her on the same swing. Sharon tracked him down to tell him about the baby and Summer fell off of the swing. Sharon drove Nick and Summer to the E.R. While this was going on, Phyllis and Mary Jane were bonding over their hatred for all things Sharon. Phyllis got a call and ran off to be with Summer. When she arrived at the hospital, she questioned Sharon's presence. Sharon decided to leave them alone, however, she stayed lurking in the hospital corridors. Gloria's civil trial was well underway in today's eppy. Ashley testified and then Gloria took the stand. To Michael's chagrin, Gloria confessed all on the record. The Judge rewarded the Abbotts double the amount of the original lawsuit. After the trial was over, Gloria went the hell off on Ashley. Ashley went the hell off right back, calling Gloria a "gold digging narcissistic bitch". Glria went on a tirade the likes of which I have never seen and Ashley double over in pain. Then someone seethed at Gloria and said: "She's pregnant you idiot!" Michael stared at Ashley in horror as he quickly realized that his mother was always going to be the bain of his existence. Ashley was rushed to the hospital with the Abbott boys in tow. Victor showed up and promptly kicked them out of her room. Outside of Ashley's room, Jack ran into Sharon who accepted his offer to raise the baby after she decided not to tell Nick. Jack was happy as hell and pulled Sharon close for a hug. Psycho Mary Jane showed up just then and spied the embrace. Jack offered Billy a partnership and half of the CEO position at Jabot so he can help Sharon, but he did't inform his brother why.
OLTL SPOILER ALERT!:
Here's what I know is coming up in our immediate future- Langston and Dorian are going to get into some kind of altercation. Cole is going to see Matthew and feel an urge to take a pill. Jared is going to get wind that Hope's body is being exhumed. Nora will be suspicious of Clint's true intentions. Um. She should be. The prom is fast approaching and after Lola pulls her shenanigans, the Pussy Cat Dolls will perform. John wants to save Marty. No sh*t, right? Jessica is going to remember giving birth. It will be revealed that Kyle is related to someone in Llanview. No clue as to who yet! Hope's body will be exhumed, prompting Natalie and Jared to run off and elope before the sh*t hits the fan. Chloe is going to disappear. My guess? She will be one of the people kidnapped. I hear there will be two. Jared will have a bachelor party. Super Skank Stacy will jump out of his cake. I am not sure that Natalie is going to be down for all that. Here's hoping she scares someone when she pops out and they shoot her because they think their life is in danger. Marty will finally get her memory back. Is this going to make me hate her less? No. Natalie and Jared will confess the whole baby debacle to Viki and Charlie. And, last but not least: Bess is back! I hope that this personality hates Brody as much as I do. I mean Lt. Horndog....
EXTRAS:
1. Tom Pelphrey is returning to GL. I stopped watching when he left. I hope other soaps realize his potential and hire him!
2. Kristina has finally been aged and recast on GH.
3. Rick Hearst is leaving GH and reprising his role as one of Mega Slut Barbie's many husbands on B&B.
That's all I got peeps! More later....same bitch time...same bitch channel...
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Baby Trumps First Love 5-6-09
I have previously blogged about today's Y&R eppy, however, I watched again and noticed that I missed some important deets. My girl J and I were enjoying some coffee this morning when the conversation quickly turned to Nikki on Y&R. The topic? Who the hell knows. What we did agree on is that Nikki, as she continues to age, looks more and more like Miss Piggy. Watching her tilt her head to kiss Paul really just confirmed for me that Nikki and Miss Piggy are long lost twins who were separated at birth. Paul was spending a few quite minutes alone with the GIANT rock he plans on proposing to Nikki with, when Nick walked in. After some wedding chit chat, Nick offered his full support to Nikki and Paul. I totally forgot about this classic line via Chloe to Delia: "We are going to have to put a no trespassing sign on your daddy. Maybe a hot pink one." Of course! Leave it to Chloe to think about keeping her man with style. I mentioned the convo between Mac and Billy in my last blog. However, I forgot to mention this little tidbit: Billy: "It's not fair. Our relationship was taken from us!" Mac: "Life isn't fair Billy! You want to see unfair? Go to Darfur, that's unfair!" No Mac. What's unfair is me being forced to look at your ugly bitch face everyday. Phyllis told Nick that she was feeling neglected and had been for a while now. That's usually what happens when your husband is banging his real wife. Nuff said! Victoria went over to the Newman ranch for whatever reason and even though she tried to be nice, Adam acted like an ass as usual. Victoria was quietly looking around the room while Adam was talking when he suddenly stopped and said "What exactly is it that you are looking for?" to which Victoria replied "I thought you couldn't see?" OK! This just affirms everything I have said so far...Adam is faking and has been this whole time. Mac must have dropped her "mother theresa" wardrobe off at the Goodwill and bought herself some new duds from Bar-Hoes-R-Us. Later, Esmerelda (hagatha as previously referred to) came back from visiting Rafe and Ashley made a damn fool out of herself tripping over her own psycho drool to accuse Esme of planting the Sabrina gear. Victor hushed her like a child and defendended that old bitch Esmerelda. Victor then filled Victoria in on his theory that Nikkis is planting the "haunted Sabrina" items. Victoria urged Victor to consider the possibility that Ashley was just going nuts, which is par for the course where Ashley is concerned. Victor then proceeded to tell Victoria that she was 'Disrespectful" and to "Grow up and deal with it!" The doorbell rang then and Victor opened the door to Nikki, who was gearing up to bitch at him about Nick and Restless style. Victor informed Nikki that he had nothing to say to her and then told Victoria, who was in the corner licking her wounds: "Deal with your mother."
Side Note: ATWT promos are starting to look good again. For those of you who still tune in, feel free to let me know what the hell is going on, and when it is safe to watch again. Thanks!
Today's B&B began with Owen and Bridget and HOTNESS. My god! Brandon Beemer has taken over that show and all I can say is THANK YOU! I haven't been this excited to watch B&B since the Deacon/Bridget/Mega Slut days. Bridget cut her date short with Owen to preserve her reputation and "make him want it more" and Owen was very supportive saying: "I'm in no hurry." I guess I wouldn't be either if I was getting attacked by a sex crazed cougar with a bad wig EVERY five minutes. This may sound like complaining, but it is not! On her way out the door, Bridget turned to say goodbye and Owen just had to get in one more kiss before she left. Literally two seconds after Bridget left, Jackie rolled up in her hover-round for a play by play of the night's events. After convincing herself that Bridget is idiot enough to choose her son over Owen, Jackie proceeded to attack Owen and then they did the shag nasty up against her geriatric walker. Brooke and Katie were discussing Nick and Bridget's past, present, and future and quite frankly, all I heard was "oink oink oink oink" followed by "snort oink snort". Katie did share this little ditty: "Bridget is more than an ex wife. She's an ex wife squared." Bridget met up with Nick later who confessed his true feelings for her, stating "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me." I've heard him say that to just about every Logan Whore there is. Bridget told him to cut the cord, he said he was truly sorry this time, and she proved that the Saggy Sailor is still the king of her heart and they fell into a lustful embrace. Jackie told Owen that he needs a lesson in how to seduce women and followed it up by saying that she was going to hire him a "seduction consultant".
OLTL was filled with classic idiocies that could only be provided by the actors and writers of this show. Brody and Jessica tried to have a secret meeting in a public place (idiocy #1) and this public place just happened to be the destination of Jared and Natalie's pre-wedding day dinner. As her family came in, Jessica said "let's give them something to talk about" and proceeded to slap the sh*t out of him. I came close to liking her again for a hot second....but the feeling quickly passed. Jessica came up with some flower wedding excuse and headed over to Brody's for some afternoon delight. Rex and Gigi were continuing their argument from yesterday. Actually, Rex yelled and Gigi cried. (idiocy #2) YAWN. Gigi ran off to cry somewhere else and Rex said "Have fun with Lt. Horndog." (idiocy #3) Over at Llanview High, (or as I like to refer to it as the Coolest F-Ing School EVER!)Langston and Markko were both on computers and instant messaging about the prom during class. WOW. (idiocy #4) Markko asked Langston if she was ready for "Operation De-Flower" (idiocy #5) and Langston acted as if she was appalled. Markko then said this: "Would you rather I call it "Operation Doing-the-Nasty"? (idiocy #6) Rex went over to Brody's to stop her from sleeping with Brody. Jessica was in the bathroom hiding. Rex started beating on the door and yelling. Brody and Rex got into a little fight and Brody said "You don't want to hit me." I laughed and got up to go do something. When I returned, Rex was gone and Brody was holding his nose. I guess that means Rex did want to hit him. Stacy was chillin at Rex's when there was a knock on the door. This is where the show suddenly tool a turn for the better. In walks Stacy's old pimp, who instantly snatched up Stacy and put her in a choke hold. He wanted his money. Stacy whined about not having it. The pimp demanded a lap dance. Thank the bad stripper gods that OLTL didn't air it if it happended. Later, the pimp threatened to hurt Shane if Super Skank didn't fork over the dough. Shane called Gigi out at her job and then ran off, leaving the dumb bitch screaming "Shane! Shane! Come back!" then dropping to her bruised up knees and crying. (idiocy#7) If that was me, I would have snatched that little prick up and shoved my fist down his throat for basically calling me a whore in front of my friends. But, hey, that's just me.
That's all I got. If you like this blog, please support, follow, and spread the word!
More on GH and AMC later....some bitch time...some bitch channel....
Side Note: ATWT promos are starting to look good again. For those of you who still tune in, feel free to let me know what the hell is going on, and when it is safe to watch again. Thanks!
Today's B&B began with Owen and Bridget and HOTNESS. My god! Brandon Beemer has taken over that show and all I can say is THANK YOU! I haven't been this excited to watch B&B since the Deacon/Bridget/Mega Slut days. Bridget cut her date short with Owen to preserve her reputation and "make him want it more" and Owen was very supportive saying: "I'm in no hurry." I guess I wouldn't be either if I was getting attacked by a sex crazed cougar with a bad wig EVERY five minutes. This may sound like complaining, but it is not! On her way out the door, Bridget turned to say goodbye and Owen just had to get in one more kiss before she left. Literally two seconds after Bridget left, Jackie rolled up in her hover-round for a play by play of the night's events. After convincing herself that Bridget is idiot enough to choose her son over Owen, Jackie proceeded to attack Owen and then they did the shag nasty up against her geriatric walker. Brooke and Katie were discussing Nick and Bridget's past, present, and future and quite frankly, all I heard was "oink oink oink oink" followed by "snort oink snort". Katie did share this little ditty: "Bridget is more than an ex wife. She's an ex wife squared." Bridget met up with Nick later who confessed his true feelings for her, stating "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me." I've heard him say that to just about every Logan Whore there is. Bridget told him to cut the cord, he said he was truly sorry this time, and she proved that the Saggy Sailor is still the king of her heart and they fell into a lustful embrace. Jackie told Owen that he needs a lesson in how to seduce women and followed it up by saying that she was going to hire him a "seduction consultant".
OLTL was filled with classic idiocies that could only be provided by the actors and writers of this show. Brody and Jessica tried to have a secret meeting in a public place (idiocy #1) and this public place just happened to be the destination of Jared and Natalie's pre-wedding day dinner. As her family came in, Jessica said "let's give them something to talk about" and proceeded to slap the sh*t out of him. I came close to liking her again for a hot second....but the feeling quickly passed. Jessica came up with some flower wedding excuse and headed over to Brody's for some afternoon delight. Rex and Gigi were continuing their argument from yesterday. Actually, Rex yelled and Gigi cried. (idiocy #2) YAWN. Gigi ran off to cry somewhere else and Rex said "Have fun with Lt. Horndog." (idiocy #3) Over at Llanview High, (or as I like to refer to it as the Coolest F-Ing School EVER!)Langston and Markko were both on computers and instant messaging about the prom during class. WOW. (idiocy #4) Markko asked Langston if she was ready for "Operation De-Flower" (idiocy #5) and Langston acted as if she was appalled. Markko then said this: "Would you rather I call it "Operation Doing-the-Nasty"? (idiocy #6) Rex went over to Brody's to stop her from sleeping with Brody. Jessica was in the bathroom hiding. Rex started beating on the door and yelling. Brody and Rex got into a little fight and Brody said "You don't want to hit me." I laughed and got up to go do something. When I returned, Rex was gone and Brody was holding his nose. I guess that means Rex did want to hit him. Stacy was chillin at Rex's when there was a knock on the door. This is where the show suddenly tool a turn for the better. In walks Stacy's old pimp, who instantly snatched up Stacy and put her in a choke hold. He wanted his money. Stacy whined about not having it. The pimp demanded a lap dance. Thank the bad stripper gods that OLTL didn't air it if it happended. Later, the pimp threatened to hurt Shane if Super Skank didn't fork over the dough. Shane called Gigi out at her job and then ran off, leaving the dumb bitch screaming "Shane! Shane! Come back!" then dropping to her bruised up knees and crying. (idiocy#7) If that was me, I would have snatched that little prick up and shoved my fist down his throat for basically calling me a whore in front of my friends. But, hey, that's just me.
That's all I got. If you like this blog, please support, follow, and spread the word!
More on GH and AMC later....some bitch time...some bitch channel....
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The First Love is the Deepest 5-6-09
I wish I could watch AMC as often as I would like and I even admit that sometimes it isn't worth watching anyway. However, I do keep up to date and catch as many eppies I can per week. Monday's eppy was ripe with Erica and that funky ass red and black "push-up" dress that she was still wearing. Erica was discussing Adam to someone and she told that someone that Adam could still slay dragons. That is almost as strange a comment as the time Colby asked Erica if she loved Adam. Erica responded: "I love him like ice cream." What the hell is that supposed to mean? Erica is still hot for Ryan and was doing everything in her power to convince Ryan that a relationship with Kendall would never work out. For once, I agree with LaKane.
J.R. momentarily lost Little A(sshole)and Marissa strolled up and casually insulted J.R.'s parenting skills. J.R. went off on her; but, I can see where this is going. I know there is supposed to be some scandalous love triangle hoppin' soon between Marissa, J.R., and Scott. Oh Joy. Ian needs heart surgery (that just happens to involve that damn heart valve) or he is going to die. Krystal got pissed at Marissa for "going there" with J.R. so Marissa packed her stuff and moved out. I hate how David is trying to play the good guy in the middle as if he were capable of such behavior. At the end of Monday's eppy, David stated he would not operate on Ian. Today's episode consisted of Adam (whom I believe is really Stuart) being an ass, as usual. He continues to panick over finances and act like a blooming idiot which prompts my soap senses to seriously tingle whenever he is on screen. I know it's Stuart because they have to kill off David Canary for now; but they will bring him back later and it won't be in the form of Stuart. Mark my words! If I am wrong, I will buy everyone cheeseburgers. Now that I am almost 100% positive that Crishell Stause is leaving, I can't help but wonder who Jake will be paired with next. I think it would be completely unneccesary to pair him with old-Harley or whatever the hell her name is. (omg, my foot is asleep) J.R. recalled the day Dixie was killed (the 2nd or 3rd time) and remembered seeing Adam looking through the window watching her die and creepy smiling. This came custom with flashbacks which only solidified my belief that it is really Stuart. Erica finally changed out of that dress. TTL! Krystal's dress was hideous. Adam/Stuart threatened Krystal through the whole episode while she sat around looking scared and lying to everyone. Scott, the Dork, is much to invested in this heart valve b.s. I cannot wait until it's over. Bring on the killer!
I love it when I get to see Y&R early and today was my lucky flippin day! Jack sincerely told Sharon that he loves her and wants to help raise the baby. Sharon told Jack she wasn't sure if she would keep the baby or not. Sharon was about to confess all things Billy when an eavesdropping Mary Jane/Mari Jo made her presence known. She then perched herself on the desk as if she were a vulture waiting for her prey. Sharon was becoming increasingly uncomfortable when who should walk in...Billy! He has arrived for a meeting put together by Mary Jane the psycho stalker. Sharon couldn't take anymore, and she ran out of there so fast the door hit her in the ass. I found it amusing she kept holding her belly and she was "so" tired. Um. Note to Sharon: You have only been pregnant for 2 minutes. At Restless Style, the sh*t hit the fan as the photographer came down with some funky illness, the wrong backdrop was delivered, and Nick announced that he would be active COO for Newman from now on. I thought that if I had to hear Phyllis say "How am I supposed to do this without you?" one more time, I was going to morph through the screen and strangle her with her own chunky bead necklace. That would have been a waste of a good necklace. Phyllis snitched on Nick to Nikki, who was none to pleased with his new job description. The only thing worse than a man that goes running to his mother is a man's wife that goes running to his mother. Sharon left Jabot and returned to her room at the club and laid down. She then had a dream in which Nick was pushing a little girl on the swing and Cassie came out of nowhere and started chattin it up with Sharon. OK. At first, the dream was real sweet and all. But then, it just got creepy from there. Cassie said "See I told you there would be another little girl." Sharon put her hand on her belly and said "Oh, I'm having a girl. That makes me so happy." Cassie replied "No. The little girl is already here. Summer is the little girl." Cassie suddenly turned into Jack who said the usual crap and then turned into Billy being an asshole. Billy really was banging and screaming at her door, demanding to be let in. When she finally let him in he asked her if she was with child. Lot's of Billy scenes as he informed Chloe of his job search. She asked him why he just can't be happy with what he's got; to which he replied: "I don't want to settle." He then made up some b.s. about going out for a while. Chloe did some spying and found out that he was headed to Jimmy's and Mac was working. Over at Jimmy's, a push-up bra packing Mac was wiping tables when Billy came in. She asked him what she could get for him. He said 'sex on the beach'. He just screams class, doesn't he? Chloe showed up as Billy escaped without being seen. Chloe confronted "Mother Theresa" about the kiss and kindly reminded her that she and Billy are so much alike it's scary and that they are like "little devils". I could tell that Mac was scared of little Chloe but also pissed because she knows she could have Billy if she wanted him. You will probobly never hear me say this again, but, bravo to Clementine Ford for depicting emotion in a relevant way to the storyline. At the business meeting between Billy, Jack, and Mary Jane, Jack let it slip about Sharon's papoose and the look on Billy's face was classic and priceless all at the same time. I thought his face was melting for a second.
Honorable Mentions:
Chloe to Mac: "I love me some ribs. Do you love ribs?"
Mary Jane tells Jack to keep the night open because she wants to celebrate. Jack, worried about Sharon says: "We'll see."
Mary Jane is talking strategy and Jack's concentration is obviously somewhere else. Billy says: "Chop Chop, big brother. Get your head back in the game."
The latter made me think of something else that I hate. All you HSM fans know what I am talking about!
Until later...same bitch time...same bitch channel...
J.R. momentarily lost Little A(sshole)and Marissa strolled up and casually insulted J.R.'s parenting skills. J.R. went off on her; but, I can see where this is going. I know there is supposed to be some scandalous love triangle hoppin' soon between Marissa, J.R., and Scott. Oh Joy. Ian needs heart surgery (that just happens to involve that damn heart valve) or he is going to die. Krystal got pissed at Marissa for "going there" with J.R. so Marissa packed her stuff and moved out. I hate how David is trying to play the good guy in the middle as if he were capable of such behavior. At the end of Monday's eppy, David stated he would not operate on Ian. Today's episode consisted of Adam (whom I believe is really Stuart) being an ass, as usual. He continues to panick over finances and act like a blooming idiot which prompts my soap senses to seriously tingle whenever he is on screen. I know it's Stuart because they have to kill off David Canary for now; but they will bring him back later and it won't be in the form of Stuart. Mark my words! If I am wrong, I will buy everyone cheeseburgers. Now that I am almost 100% positive that Crishell Stause is leaving, I can't help but wonder who Jake will be paired with next. I think it would be completely unneccesary to pair him with old-Harley or whatever the hell her name is. (omg, my foot is asleep) J.R. recalled the day Dixie was killed (the 2nd or 3rd time) and remembered seeing Adam looking through the window watching her die and creepy smiling. This came custom with flashbacks which only solidified my belief that it is really Stuart. Erica finally changed out of that dress. TTL! Krystal's dress was hideous. Adam/Stuart threatened Krystal through the whole episode while she sat around looking scared and lying to everyone. Scott, the Dork, is much to invested in this heart valve b.s. I cannot wait until it's over. Bring on the killer!
I love it when I get to see Y&R early and today was my lucky flippin day! Jack sincerely told Sharon that he loves her and wants to help raise the baby. Sharon told Jack she wasn't sure if she would keep the baby or not. Sharon was about to confess all things Billy when an eavesdropping Mary Jane/Mari Jo made her presence known. She then perched herself on the desk as if she were a vulture waiting for her prey. Sharon was becoming increasingly uncomfortable when who should walk in...Billy! He has arrived for a meeting put together by Mary Jane the psycho stalker. Sharon couldn't take anymore, and she ran out of there so fast the door hit her in the ass. I found it amusing she kept holding her belly and she was "so" tired. Um. Note to Sharon: You have only been pregnant for 2 minutes. At Restless Style, the sh*t hit the fan as the photographer came down with some funky illness, the wrong backdrop was delivered, and Nick announced that he would be active COO for Newman from now on. I thought that if I had to hear Phyllis say "How am I supposed to do this without you?" one more time, I was going to morph through the screen and strangle her with her own chunky bead necklace. That would have been a waste of a good necklace. Phyllis snitched on Nick to Nikki, who was none to pleased with his new job description. The only thing worse than a man that goes running to his mother is a man's wife that goes running to his mother. Sharon left Jabot and returned to her room at the club and laid down. She then had a dream in which Nick was pushing a little girl on the swing and Cassie came out of nowhere and started chattin it up with Sharon. OK. At first, the dream was real sweet and all. But then, it just got creepy from there. Cassie said "See I told you there would be another little girl." Sharon put her hand on her belly and said "Oh, I'm having a girl. That makes me so happy." Cassie replied "No. The little girl is already here. Summer is the little girl." Cassie suddenly turned into Jack who said the usual crap and then turned into Billy being an asshole. Billy really was banging and screaming at her door, demanding to be let in. When she finally let him in he asked her if she was with child. Lot's of Billy scenes as he informed Chloe of his job search. She asked him why he just can't be happy with what he's got; to which he replied: "I don't want to settle." He then made up some b.s. about going out for a while. Chloe did some spying and found out that he was headed to Jimmy's and Mac was working. Over at Jimmy's, a push-up bra packing Mac was wiping tables when Billy came in. She asked him what she could get for him. He said 'sex on the beach'. He just screams class, doesn't he? Chloe showed up as Billy escaped without being seen. Chloe confronted "Mother Theresa" about the kiss and kindly reminded her that she and Billy are so much alike it's scary and that they are like "little devils". I could tell that Mac was scared of little Chloe but also pissed because she knows she could have Billy if she wanted him. You will probobly never hear me say this again, but, bravo to Clementine Ford for depicting emotion in a relevant way to the storyline. At the business meeting between Billy, Jack, and Mary Jane, Jack let it slip about Sharon's papoose and the look on Billy's face was classic and priceless all at the same time. I thought his face was melting for a second.
Honorable Mentions:
Chloe to Mac: "I love me some ribs. Do you love ribs?"
Mary Jane tells Jack to keep the night open because she wants to celebrate. Jack, worried about Sharon says: "We'll see."
Mary Jane is talking strategy and Jack's concentration is obviously somewhere else. Billy says: "Chop Chop, big brother. Get your head back in the game."
The latter made me think of something else that I hate. All you HSM fans know what I am talking about!
Until later...same bitch time...same bitch channel...
The Hypocrite's Oath 5-5-09
Y&R began with Nicholas and Victor discussing Neil working at Chancellor as CEO. Victor offered to replace Neil with Nick. Neither of them knew that Adam was lurking at the top of the stairs eavesdropping. Obviously if Victor knew, he wouldn't have said: "I want my children running my company. You and Victoria." Adam was obviously wounded and slinked back to his room. Later, Rafe came to visit Hagatha and Adam. Rafe told Adam that there was a good chance that he could get Adam's sentence reduced. Adam responded with sorrow, saying: "You may free me from this bracelet, but not from the darkness." I felt a hint of sympathy for Adam UNTIL Ashley was freaking out about Sabrina's pictures ending up in her closet. The camera suddenly cut to Adam up in his mini-dungeon laughing his ass off; which then prompted me to laugh my ass off. Nick, newly pumped about his new position, goes to Restless Style to talk to Phyllis about it. The red headed she-devil bumrushed Nick as he arrived with the new wedding issue and said this stupid sh*t: "Everything we touch turns to gold, baby." Joshua Morrow looked as uncomfortable as I suddenly felt. Regardless of her pathetically stupid lines, Phyllis whined and cried about Nick's priorities throughout the rest of the episode. Sharon, meanwhile, had a series of flashbacks in which she did the nasty with the brothers Abbott and Nick. Sharon then had lunch with Doris, who told her to find out who the baby daddy is ASAP! Sharon said she was hoping it would be Nick's. After lunch, Sharon ran into Billy who asked her what she was doing. She stuttered some idiocies and he stuttered some crap too. Words be damned! The look on Billy's face was priceless as if he couldn't understand the concept of Sharon walking out of the club without doing him. Sharon seemed to know that Billy was sniffing, because she rushed her little ass over to Restless Style to spill the beans to Nick. Phyllis cut her off by apologizing for trashing her room and snitching to the police. She happened to use the words "not very mature of me." You think? Sharon replied: "The more you apologize, the less it means." OOOOOH. Good one. Sharon made a series of faces that indicated she couldn't take one more second of Phyllis' b.s. and she ran out of there. Today's episode really focused on Billy and his inability to find a good job. He asked everyone in town, including Victor and Katherine, who both rejected his advances. Jack and Billy almost got into a bro fight when Jack called Billy a "kid" and said he was nothing like their father. Jack left and John's ghost appeared to lecture Billy. Billy responded "I get enough of this from Jack." The best Billy Miller moment came when Billy was talking to Jill at the club and Jill laughed in her old bitty way and Billy mocked her perfectly with this spaced out look on his face. Classic. Jill went to Crimson Lights for some coffee where she ran into Katherine. Jill gave Kay a sincere apology and then said "This is goodbye, Katherine." However, at the end of the eppy, Jill showed up at the Chancellor mansion and stated she was moving back in. Also going on at the coffee house is Kevin's mini-welcome-back party. Michael was giving Kevin a toast in which he called Kevin a "warrior" and the "slayer of demons". OK! Jeffery and Gloria showed up and Jeffery opened his smart ass mouth and caused Kevin to freak the hell out. Michael kicked Jeffrey out and Jana called him an "Idiot!" Honorable mention goes to Phyllis for being able to be a bitch when she didn't even mean to by showing Sharon the newest issue of RS and saying "Take a look at our new baby." Ouch.
I was busy during B&B laughing and screaming at my television set for the whole actual 19 minutes of airtime that the show actually gets. Owen was making out with Jackie as she was convincing him that going out with Bridget will prove that she and Nick belong together. Cut to the offices of Jackie M where Bridget was trying on sexy swimsuits for her date with Owen. Yeah. Because we all do that kind of stuff at work. The Saggy Sailor, Nick, came in and tried to convince her that Owen is a "surfer serpant". His words, not mine. Over at who the hell knows where, Katie and Donna were having a bitter-jealous-hag party over Saggy Sailor and Bridget. Heather Tom is a great actress. Katie Logan, however, is not likable. Mega Slut Barbie (Brooke) stopped by and after hearing the topic of discussion, decides it would be a good idea to give Saggy Sailor a piece of her mind. Since Mega Slut is only good for giving out pieces of ass, her advice flew right over Saggy Sailor's head. Stupid Unrealistic Line of the Day Award goes to Mega Slut for saying this: "What kind of mother would I be if I wasn't concerned for Bridget?" Um. The same mother that hopped into bed with Deacon only to bear his evil spawn. Or. The same mother that forced Bridget to divorce Nick so she could have him for herself. Bridget went over to Owen's for her date with him and they made out on the floor. The Saggy Sailor stood alone somewhere, penis in hand, having flashbacks of Bridget and himself in disgusting positions. Positions I was glad that I had forgotten about.
Attention!: Don Diamont finally makes his first appearance on Tuesday!
On today's eppy of OLTL, Christian walked around shirtless while Layla whined. Nothing new to see there. A couple of my twitter chicks want Christian gone and think that he should take Layla's bitch ass with him. I concur! Much of the show focused on the skank that is Stacy walking around in cheap leopard skin lingerie making meaningless comments to herself because no one else wants to listen to her lies. Stacy climbed into bed with Rex which prompted more yelling at the t.v. She somehow got Rex to snuggle with her. When he opened his eyes and saw Skanktrash Stacy, he looked like he wanted to puke. Priceless. Gigi called and Stacy answered the phone, pretending to be exhausted from a night of sexin with Rex. Rex took the phone and listened to Gigi whine about Shane and then ran off to save the day. While Rex was headed over to Gigi's, Shane was sneaking over to Rex's. He ran into Stacy and she informed him about what a slut his mom is. What I found most amusing is that Stacy's skank ass found it appropriate to remain clad in her lingerie during the entire conversation. Schyler spent today's eppy lugging around the sack of blood and hacking into hospital files. Cole, who miraculously has recovered since yesterday, passed his drug test and made Rachel proud. Later, he hooked up with Starr and they recommitted themselves to one another. The couple then went over to the hospital to get the baby's DNA results. Kyle told them that the baby wasn't theirs. Starr ran off to do who the hell knows and she ran into Schyler doing whatever it is that he was doing. They had a cute little talk and Starr confessed that she loved Cole and she was sorry for the trouble she had caused. He responded by saying: "Maybe when you get older we can be friends." No thanks blood bag boy! Roxy and Kyle were arguing back and forth and Kyle said he couldn't wait to get his medical license so he could stop doing odd jobs for freaks like Roxy. Roxy said something to the effect of "You will still be a dirtbag even after you give the hypocrite's oath." Thanks for that.
Note to the PTB: Please make better use of the characters of Natalie and Jared. You are wasting their talents. Thank you.
Port Charles was filled with boring scenes today. Lucky and Liz were chilling at home with the kids having family time. Sonny was over at Olivia's begging for Carly info while his pregnant bitch wife was doubled over in pain, forced to ask his a-hole brother for help. Ric said he should let Claudia suffer and concluded with this: "The only reason I'll help you is because I think that baby is mine." Luke caught Ethan stealing "nothing" from the petty cash box and revealed that it was a set up. They blah blah blahed for a few minutes about what an ass Luke is and Tracy came in and started bitching. Nothing was exciting about this scene until Tracy started to leave the room and Luke said "Isn't she beautiful when she's cranky?" as he looked dead at her ass in that pencil skirt. Tracy then offered Ethan some money to get the hell out of dodge. Nu-old Emily and Nikolas were getting it on in the living room of Wyndemere when Nu-old Emily opened her mouth and said: "If we do this, who will I be? Emily..or Rebecca?" Nikolas promptly rolled off. They argued for a few minutes and Nu-old Emily left only to return moments later feigning car trouble. Nikolas, with no other choice, told her she could stay. Nu-old Emily went upstairs to get "cleaned up". When she returned, she was wearing real-old-Emily's nightgown. Nikolas freaked out and asked her where it came from. Nu-old Emily replied: "The housekeeper laid it out for me." Um. Okay. Y&R called. They want the storyline that they just aired LAST WEEK back!
Stick a fork in me. I am done. Until the next entry...same bitch time...same bitch channel....
I was busy during B&B laughing and screaming at my television set for the whole actual 19 minutes of airtime that the show actually gets. Owen was making out with Jackie as she was convincing him that going out with Bridget will prove that she and Nick belong together. Cut to the offices of Jackie M where Bridget was trying on sexy swimsuits for her date with Owen. Yeah. Because we all do that kind of stuff at work. The Saggy Sailor, Nick, came in and tried to convince her that Owen is a "surfer serpant". His words, not mine. Over at who the hell knows where, Katie and Donna were having a bitter-jealous-hag party over Saggy Sailor and Bridget. Heather Tom is a great actress. Katie Logan, however, is not likable. Mega Slut Barbie (Brooke) stopped by and after hearing the topic of discussion, decides it would be a good idea to give Saggy Sailor a piece of her mind. Since Mega Slut is only good for giving out pieces of ass, her advice flew right over Saggy Sailor's head. Stupid Unrealistic Line of the Day Award goes to Mega Slut for saying this: "What kind of mother would I be if I wasn't concerned for Bridget?" Um. The same mother that hopped into bed with Deacon only to bear his evil spawn. Or. The same mother that forced Bridget to divorce Nick so she could have him for herself. Bridget went over to Owen's for her date with him and they made out on the floor. The Saggy Sailor stood alone somewhere, penis in hand, having flashbacks of Bridget and himself in disgusting positions. Positions I was glad that I had forgotten about.
Attention!: Don Diamont finally makes his first appearance on Tuesday!
On today's eppy of OLTL, Christian walked around shirtless while Layla whined. Nothing new to see there. A couple of my twitter chicks want Christian gone and think that he should take Layla's bitch ass with him. I concur! Much of the show focused on the skank that is Stacy walking around in cheap leopard skin lingerie making meaningless comments to herself because no one else wants to listen to her lies. Stacy climbed into bed with Rex which prompted more yelling at the t.v. She somehow got Rex to snuggle with her. When he opened his eyes and saw Skanktrash Stacy, he looked like he wanted to puke. Priceless. Gigi called and Stacy answered the phone, pretending to be exhausted from a night of sexin with Rex. Rex took the phone and listened to Gigi whine about Shane and then ran off to save the day. While Rex was headed over to Gigi's, Shane was sneaking over to Rex's. He ran into Stacy and she informed him about what a slut his mom is. What I found most amusing is that Stacy's skank ass found it appropriate to remain clad in her lingerie during the entire conversation. Schyler spent today's eppy lugging around the sack of blood and hacking into hospital files. Cole, who miraculously has recovered since yesterday, passed his drug test and made Rachel proud. Later, he hooked up with Starr and they recommitted themselves to one another. The couple then went over to the hospital to get the baby's DNA results. Kyle told them that the baby wasn't theirs. Starr ran off to do who the hell knows and she ran into Schyler doing whatever it is that he was doing. They had a cute little talk and Starr confessed that she loved Cole and she was sorry for the trouble she had caused. He responded by saying: "Maybe when you get older we can be friends." No thanks blood bag boy! Roxy and Kyle were arguing back and forth and Kyle said he couldn't wait to get his medical license so he could stop doing odd jobs for freaks like Roxy. Roxy said something to the effect of "You will still be a dirtbag even after you give the hypocrite's oath." Thanks for that.
Note to the PTB: Please make better use of the characters of Natalie and Jared. You are wasting their talents. Thank you.
Port Charles was filled with boring scenes today. Lucky and Liz were chilling at home with the kids having family time. Sonny was over at Olivia's begging for Carly info while his pregnant bitch wife was doubled over in pain, forced to ask his a-hole brother for help. Ric said he should let Claudia suffer and concluded with this: "The only reason I'll help you is because I think that baby is mine." Luke caught Ethan stealing "nothing" from the petty cash box and revealed that it was a set up. They blah blah blahed for a few minutes about what an ass Luke is and Tracy came in and started bitching. Nothing was exciting about this scene until Tracy started to leave the room and Luke said "Isn't she beautiful when she's cranky?" as he looked dead at her ass in that pencil skirt. Tracy then offered Ethan some money to get the hell out of dodge. Nu-old Emily and Nikolas were getting it on in the living room of Wyndemere when Nu-old Emily opened her mouth and said: "If we do this, who will I be? Emily..or Rebecca?" Nikolas promptly rolled off. They argued for a few minutes and Nu-old Emily left only to return moments later feigning car trouble. Nikolas, with no other choice, told her she could stay. Nu-old Emily went upstairs to get "cleaned up". When she returned, she was wearing real-old-Emily's nightgown. Nikolas freaked out and asked her where it came from. Nu-old Emily replied: "The housekeeper laid it out for me." Um. Okay. Y&R called. They want the storyline that they just aired LAST WEEK back!
Stick a fork in me. I am done. Until the next entry...same bitch time...same bitch channel....
Monday, May 4, 2009
Drunks, Idiots, and Skanks 5-4-09
I cannot stress enough the level of hatred I am continuously feeling for Clementine Ford as Mac on Y&R. You can slap a weave and an ugly dress on her but the obvious still remains the same. She can't act. There is no chemistry between her and anyone else on the show. Why do famous actors and actress's children assume that they can act? Oh well. Jill was let out of the closet by Lauren, who instantly regretted helping the drunk old bat out. Jill blasted through the wedding, spitting her venom in everyone's direction. She came this close to having another senior citizen smackdown with Katherine, but Jill's embarrassed son's came to remove her to save her from herself. Jill said some good stuff but here are the two most amusing tidbits:
1. She looked at Esther and said "Shut up you simpering idiot."
2. She told Cane, a la a three year old, "I don't wanna nap!"
Honorable Mention goes to Nina for this: "Yeah, I stuffed her in the closet."
Skeletor Mac and Cane spoke briefly at the wedding. When Billy saw them, he waited for Skeletor to walk way before he ripped into Cane for "stealing" everything he has. Cane then replied "Not everything is about you." Oh really Cane? Billy and Skeletor Mac both had coinciding sappy ass dreams about marrying each other. This was followed by dancing, reminiscing, kissing, bitch slapping, and Chloe. I was in complete shock when instead of slapping Billy on the other side of his face, she kissed the spot that Skeletor smacked and said "Come home with me." I am sorry people. That leads me to go back to rooting for Chloe. Skeletor was chatting up the younger crowd and brought up the fact that Daniel had a crush on her ugly ass once. This made Amber mad because suddenly Daniel was acting like a babbling monkey. Amber walked over to Chloe and they had a mini-bitch fest about how men seem to react to Skeletor. Victor gave a speech at the wedding that was based on true love, yada yada yada. The camera, however, zoomed in on Nikki at the end. Another set up. This led to Victor asking Nikki to dance. While they were dancing, he gave her some half assed apology. Later Nikki caught the bouquet. Paul looked like someone gave him a shiny new coin. Victor looked like he wanted to kill Paul. Nikki looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock. Victor then found Neil who explained that he would be working as active CEO of Chancellor Industries. Victor's reaction leads me to one conclusion: He is a bitch. He got angry, stating that Neil should have asked him first. Excuse me? Then Victor wasn't through with his tirade and he went and told Katherine that she should have asked him first. When she replied that she could give Neil what Victor couldn't, he replied that it's all about "loyalty". Sorry Moustache. You wouldn't know loyalty if it skipped up and kicked you in the balls. Paul recognized Mary Jane today but he couldn't quite figure out why. Yet. Mary Jane feigned a headache and went to her room. This was a ploy to get away from Paul and to lure Jack to her room. Jack fell prey to her and decided to take her a piece of "wedding pie". Mary Jane had little interest in pie, and she seduced Jack. Blah. At the end of today's eppy, Jill went to the GCAC to continue her drinking spree. While there, she slipped the waiter her room key and asked him when he got off. He replied in an hour. Um. Good for you Jill! Anything is better than Jeffery...
On B&B today, Stephanie filled Taylor in on the typo making Mega Slut Barbie and Bizarro Ken's wedding invalid. This makes number six for Mega Slut Barbie, who just can't seem to get it right. I will admit I used to enjoy watching these two in scenes together; however, I can't stand to watch them kiss, sex, or touch one another now. Stephanie continued to urge Botox Betty (Taylor) to go after Bizarro Ken since he isn't married. Mega Slut Barbie apologized to Steffy for Rick's f-ed up behavior. I have the feeling that she didn't mean any of it but that this is her way of keeping Bizarro Ken. Owen and Jackie were making out something fierce today when the secretary came in to tell Jackie that the guests for the meeting were there. Jackie's damn hair was a hot mess. If Owen really cared about her, he would not have let her walk around with that frizz-fro on top of her head. The meeting got underway and Jackie announced that she was promoting Owen to Chief of Staff. In fact she looked Owen dead in his eyes and said, and I quote: "Owen is good. Very good." Followed by this: "He handles a lot of things well." Can I get him to come over to my house? I got plenty of things he can handle. Mega Slut Brooke finally gave Raunchy Rick the business. I bet that felt good even though she'll never admit it.
Cole continues to trip out on OLTL. His scenes actually have a sort of creepy factor. Starr finally confides in Todd who threw his car keys and told her to go help Cole but to make sure to fill up the tank before she brings it back. What an ass. After Starr left, Todd turned around to see Blair looking homicidal. She looked like sh*t. quite frankly. Blair became weak and Todd had to help her out. Then they argued for the rest of the show. Meanwhile, McPain and Skankbrook came this close to having sex. When ever she opens her mouth, I am filled with rage. While she says she respects McPain's marriage, she then lays in bed with him and grabs his hand and puts his arm around her. She truly is annoying. Over at Gigi's crib, Rex and the Tear Queen brought Shane home. They were trying to make small talk with him and Shane told them to "cut the crap" to which the Tear Queen tried to scold him. Then he told Rex to get out. Rex continued to prove his stupidity as he let Stacy the Knobslobber con him into letting her stay with him. If he says "you saved Shane's life" one more time, I am going to slice my ears off and feed them to the dog just in case I am tempted to have them sewn back on. I noticed that Rex and Stacy were drinking beer today. More proof of idiocy. He must have forgot about that whole skanky stripper move she pulled the last time they drank together. Or, like any other man in his position, he wanted her to seduce him. Brody and Jessica hung out in the bushes discussing their future together through half of the episode until Viki caught them. I want to give Mark Lawson props for acting like he can act in today's eppy. After the new lovebirds told Viki whats up, Natalie and her shadow, Jared, came out of nowhere. Natalie proceeded to yell at Brody in a way that only Natalie could. I love Melissa Archer but my god! Calm the hell down!
I literally cried a couple of tears for Spinelli today. The fake stalker told Spin all about Maxie's ridiculous scheme. At the same time, Johnny and Maxie were discussing how attracted they are to each other. Maxie told Johnny that as much as she wanted to do him, she really loved Spin. Maxie couldn't just let Johnny go, as in true skank form she said this: "Ask me again tomorrow and my answer could change." Um. Okay. Olivia stood up to Sonny as he tried to convince her to tell him where Carly is. I like her. Claudia entered and got super jealous and catty as usual. I am getting tired of her bitching through every episode. Olivia made me laugh when Sonny told her that he didn't want Carly to die. She said "Do you want a gold star for your forehead?" Lucky and Liz kissed and made up today. This is a good thing. Rebecca went over to Nikolas's dungeon and shamefully expressed her admiration for Nikolas. Then they made out and I realized something. Nikolas can't kiss. Period end of story.
Please support and follow my blog and thanks for reading!
I am out...until tomorrow's debacles...same bitch time...same bitch channel...
1. She looked at Esther and said "Shut up you simpering idiot."
2. She told Cane, a la a three year old, "I don't wanna nap!"
Honorable Mention goes to Nina for this: "Yeah, I stuffed her in the closet."
Skeletor Mac and Cane spoke briefly at the wedding. When Billy saw them, he waited for Skeletor to walk way before he ripped into Cane for "stealing" everything he has. Cane then replied "Not everything is about you." Oh really Cane? Billy and Skeletor Mac both had coinciding sappy ass dreams about marrying each other. This was followed by dancing, reminiscing, kissing, bitch slapping, and Chloe. I was in complete shock when instead of slapping Billy on the other side of his face, she kissed the spot that Skeletor smacked and said "Come home with me." I am sorry people. That leads me to go back to rooting for Chloe. Skeletor was chatting up the younger crowd and brought up the fact that Daniel had a crush on her ugly ass once. This made Amber mad because suddenly Daniel was acting like a babbling monkey. Amber walked over to Chloe and they had a mini-bitch fest about how men seem to react to Skeletor. Victor gave a speech at the wedding that was based on true love, yada yada yada. The camera, however, zoomed in on Nikki at the end. Another set up. This led to Victor asking Nikki to dance. While they were dancing, he gave her some half assed apology. Later Nikki caught the bouquet. Paul looked like someone gave him a shiny new coin. Victor looked like he wanted to kill Paul. Nikki looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock. Victor then found Neil who explained that he would be working as active CEO of Chancellor Industries. Victor's reaction leads me to one conclusion: He is a bitch. He got angry, stating that Neil should have asked him first. Excuse me? Then Victor wasn't through with his tirade and he went and told Katherine that she should have asked him first. When she replied that she could give Neil what Victor couldn't, he replied that it's all about "loyalty". Sorry Moustache. You wouldn't know loyalty if it skipped up and kicked you in the balls. Paul recognized Mary Jane today but he couldn't quite figure out why. Yet. Mary Jane feigned a headache and went to her room. This was a ploy to get away from Paul and to lure Jack to her room. Jack fell prey to her and decided to take her a piece of "wedding pie". Mary Jane had little interest in pie, and she seduced Jack. Blah. At the end of today's eppy, Jill went to the GCAC to continue her drinking spree. While there, she slipped the waiter her room key and asked him when he got off. He replied in an hour. Um. Good for you Jill! Anything is better than Jeffery...
On B&B today, Stephanie filled Taylor in on the typo making Mega Slut Barbie and Bizarro Ken's wedding invalid. This makes number six for Mega Slut Barbie, who just can't seem to get it right. I will admit I used to enjoy watching these two in scenes together; however, I can't stand to watch them kiss, sex, or touch one another now. Stephanie continued to urge Botox Betty (Taylor) to go after Bizarro Ken since he isn't married. Mega Slut Barbie apologized to Steffy for Rick's f-ed up behavior. I have the feeling that she didn't mean any of it but that this is her way of keeping Bizarro Ken. Owen and Jackie were making out something fierce today when the secretary came in to tell Jackie that the guests for the meeting were there. Jackie's damn hair was a hot mess. If Owen really cared about her, he would not have let her walk around with that frizz-fro on top of her head. The meeting got underway and Jackie announced that she was promoting Owen to Chief of Staff. In fact she looked Owen dead in his eyes and said, and I quote: "Owen is good. Very good." Followed by this: "He handles a lot of things well." Can I get him to come over to my house? I got plenty of things he can handle. Mega Slut Brooke finally gave Raunchy Rick the business. I bet that felt good even though she'll never admit it.
Cole continues to trip out on OLTL. His scenes actually have a sort of creepy factor. Starr finally confides in Todd who threw his car keys and told her to go help Cole but to make sure to fill up the tank before she brings it back. What an ass. After Starr left, Todd turned around to see Blair looking homicidal. She looked like sh*t. quite frankly. Blair became weak and Todd had to help her out. Then they argued for the rest of the show. Meanwhile, McPain and Skankbrook came this close to having sex. When ever she opens her mouth, I am filled with rage. While she says she respects McPain's marriage, she then lays in bed with him and grabs his hand and puts his arm around her. She truly is annoying. Over at Gigi's crib, Rex and the Tear Queen brought Shane home. They were trying to make small talk with him and Shane told them to "cut the crap" to which the Tear Queen tried to scold him. Then he told Rex to get out. Rex continued to prove his stupidity as he let Stacy the Knobslobber con him into letting her stay with him. If he says "you saved Shane's life" one more time, I am going to slice my ears off and feed them to the dog just in case I am tempted to have them sewn back on. I noticed that Rex and Stacy were drinking beer today. More proof of idiocy. He must have forgot about that whole skanky stripper move she pulled the last time they drank together. Or, like any other man in his position, he wanted her to seduce him. Brody and Jessica hung out in the bushes discussing their future together through half of the episode until Viki caught them. I want to give Mark Lawson props for acting like he can act in today's eppy. After the new lovebirds told Viki whats up, Natalie and her shadow, Jared, came out of nowhere. Natalie proceeded to yell at Brody in a way that only Natalie could. I love Melissa Archer but my god! Calm the hell down!
I literally cried a couple of tears for Spinelli today. The fake stalker told Spin all about Maxie's ridiculous scheme. At the same time, Johnny and Maxie were discussing how attracted they are to each other. Maxie told Johnny that as much as she wanted to do him, she really loved Spin. Maxie couldn't just let Johnny go, as in true skank form she said this: "Ask me again tomorrow and my answer could change." Um. Okay. Olivia stood up to Sonny as he tried to convince her to tell him where Carly is. I like her. Claudia entered and got super jealous and catty as usual. I am getting tired of her bitching through every episode. Olivia made me laugh when Sonny told her that he didn't want Carly to die. She said "Do you want a gold star for your forehead?" Lucky and Liz kissed and made up today. This is a good thing. Rebecca went over to Nikolas's dungeon and shamefully expressed her admiration for Nikolas. Then they made out and I realized something. Nikolas can't kiss. Period end of story.
Please support and follow my blog and thanks for reading!
I am out...until tomorrow's debacles...same bitch time...same bitch channel...
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Emotional Ransom 5-2-09
Thanks to some really cool twitter chicks, I have been privy to some serious spoilers. Most of these have been eluded to, but not revealed. Here's your confirmations and a couple of surprises. Bear with me as I consult with my brain:
AMC: Adam will be killed off due to offset reasons. J.R. is going to become top a-hole and he will be chip off the old block. Old-Nu Babe is coming back for a few eppys either in ghost form or some other freaky way. Either way, it will add to the reveal of what we all new was coming: Marissa is Babe's twin sister. Thus making her scenes with David just wrong on so many levels. The heart valve storyline will continue as it will be discovered that the damn thing has a high chance of failure. Adam will find out and keep it to himself. The PTB want us to believe that Adam is the one that killed Dixie, but my theory is that it is Stuart. But alas! That is for another day...Amanda and Jake are going to have awkward pregnancy sex which should be amusing. Crishell Stause fans beware: Her contract expires soon and she is bouncing. Rumor has it that this was Frons' idea. No surprise. She is one of the only people left on this show that I can tolerate longer that five minutes. Ian's condition is set to get worse and the new heart valve will be involved in his "life saving surgery". No hints as to whether the damn valve even works. Aidan is going to break into Ryan's place to do Annie's evil bidding. I wish someone would just off her and get it over with. The character was strong and independent when she came to Pine Valley and the result, for me, is a character that has no worthwhile qualities that make me ever want to watch her again. I am getting off track. Opal will catch Aidan in the act. Due to Adam being an #1 a-hole, as usual, Zach will threaten to kill him. This leads me to one conclusion: When Adam gets offed, Zach will be the main suspect. Which actually means very little in soap land, as we all know.
OLTL: Matthew will walk again. Destiny and Matthew will both be bumming out because they are dateless for the prom. This is an obvious set up for them to go together. I don't care, however, because I will be concentrating on the Long Island Lola as she pulls some Carrie-esque sh*t out of her evil little hat. No word on how she will do it, or what the outcome will be. After the prom, Lola will go to Dorian and Ray and confess all. A little birdy told me that Dorian and Viki will be phased out of the show and will soon settle into more "supportive" scenes. In laymans terms that means back burner. I hear that a new leading man isn't working for the PTB. My guess? Brody. Mark Lawson's acting skills are questionable. Yes, he is delicious to look at from afar. However, when they zoom into his face, I seriously have to turn away. I thought it was just the lighting or something. But then, I saw some pictures of him in Soap Opera Digest that confirmed my hes-so-ugly suspicions. Starr and Cole will discover the truth about the baby and then fork over the poor thing to that wretch Marcy and she and Michael will "take the baby and get out while they stil have a chance". Cole will consider using after the withdrawal gets worse and his Bizarro Matthew tries to convince him that it would be best if Cole just jumped off the bridge. Normally I would laugh at such a storyline spoiler, but somehow I know that Brandon Buddy will make it worth my time. Rex and Gigi will both fantasize about what it would be like to get married. Afterward, they will share a kiss but Rex will push her away. Then, in true a-hole form, he will run to Stacy's room and start kissing her in order to prove to himself that he could still get chicks, or something. I don't know but he has got to be one of the biggest idiots of all times. Stacy is going to tell Shane that Gigi slept with Brody and that she is an evil slut. This is just one of the reasons why people hate this bitch. I like her because of her unredeemable qualities. I would rather watch her sit and do nothing in an empty room for an hour than watch Marty, well, doing anything. Stacy's pimp from Vegas comes to hunt her down for some bad debt she bounced out on. I like to watch her scared so this should be interesting. John will go to see Powell at the nuthouse to question him and he will discover that Powell has escaped and that the chick that has been pretending to be Bitch-Ass-Marty will be dead in his cell. John will bend over to look at the body and Rebecca (who the hell is that?) will lock him in the cell. Um. Okay. Blair is going to sneak out of the hospital, not be released, as I previously reported. Then she will become entwined with John and Marty's crappy story along with Todd. I hope this does not allow for a decrease in the number of hot ass sex scenes that we get to see of Tea and Todd per week. Clint will propose to Nora as he becomes more suspicious that Bo is trying to steal him away. I have never invested in the character of Clint because when I look at Jerry Ver Dorn, all I see is Ross from GL. i hope Nora says no and succumbs to Bo. Christian will paint Layla. I hope it involves nudity and sex to be brutally honest. Otherwise, these two will make me seriously consider taking a nap for the duration of the show. Obviously, Powell and Rebecca are the dynamic duo and both are found to be the serial killer. Then, even more obviously, Powell will go try to kill Marty. Oh. If only....Who knows who the hell will save the bitch this time. Maybe she will kill Powell in self defense. Any rumors that you may be hearing about an Evangeline recast are this: crap. I never bought him with Evangeline and I am just getting to like the idea of Christian and Layla having sex ALL the time. Clint and Bo will get in a fight.
GH: Maxie's plan will be thwarted, just like all of her other plans, when Johnny rescues her instead of Spinelli. This will cause a light bulb to go off in Spinelli's head after which he will seriously question the voracity of his relationship with Maxie and have serious doubts about reconciling. GH is gearing up for a Lulu and Spinelli pair. I know this because my soap senses are tingling. Spixie fans everywhere will hate me for saying this but I think Spinelli should give Lulu a go. In addition, I am officially putting Maxie and Johnny on hot sex alert. Maxie will seduce Spinelli. Like all men, he cannot resist her charms but he is going to start to realize that this is how she operates and she is never going to change. Nu-old Emily and Lucky will break up after they realize that they loved the ones they weren't with. Lucky and Liz will declare their love and get back together and Nikolas and Nu-old Emily will give their coupling a chance. "The Mayor's Wife" finally has a name: Andrea
Y&R: Cassie will appear to Sharon and tell her that her baby is a little girl. Rumor has it that she will also tell Sharon who the baby's daddy is. I read that this was going to "totally turn things in a different direction". My prediction? I think Billy is going to be the father. However, this will not be the highpoint of the storyline. Chloe will become even more of a stalker than she already is and start doing crazy sh*t to the citizens of Genoa City. Sharon will accept Jack's offer to raise the baby regardless of the bio-factor. Karen will make an appearance this week. Here's hoping that she punches Neil in the face again. John will come as his usual ghostly self to Billy and prove that Jack isn't as crazy as we thought.
Side Note: Elizabeth Hendrickson and a couple of other people we love made a new mini soap entitled Eden Elizabeth Ensenade. It's pretty funny. You can check it out at http://vimeo.com/3924208.
Honorable Mentions: On B&B, Steffy will make good with Marcus. I keep hearing that Steffy and Rick are NOT over and that as a result, Marcus is going to go psycho. I have recurring dream in which Marcus goes postal and shoots Rick in the face. After Rick falls to the floor, Marcus shoots him one more time for good measure. Then I wake up.
I wish GL would have gotten "so much better" before it got cancelled. I was a life time fan until they cut down on EVERYTHING.
I want to give a shout out to Being Erica for being the little show that could.
I want to give a dumb bitch award to the girl that posted this on Twitter: "I hate daytime soaps. Why are they called soaps anyway? They don't have anything to with soaps." Oh, dumb bitch, I tend to disagree. I replied and told her to google that sh*t.
AND...
Finally: The biggest "sex is my cure for anything" award goes to both Ryan Lavery (AMC) and Nicholas Newman (Y&R). Both of them are sex crazed tools and should be considered hard and dangerous.
OMG this blog took forever to do. Until Monday or whenever...some bitch time...some bitch channel...
AMC: Adam will be killed off due to offset reasons. J.R. is going to become top a-hole and he will be chip off the old block. Old-Nu Babe is coming back for a few eppys either in ghost form or some other freaky way. Either way, it will add to the reveal of what we all new was coming: Marissa is Babe's twin sister. Thus making her scenes with David just wrong on so many levels. The heart valve storyline will continue as it will be discovered that the damn thing has a high chance of failure. Adam will find out and keep it to himself. The PTB want us to believe that Adam is the one that killed Dixie, but my theory is that it is Stuart. But alas! That is for another day...Amanda and Jake are going to have awkward pregnancy sex which should be amusing. Crishell Stause fans beware: Her contract expires soon and she is bouncing. Rumor has it that this was Frons' idea. No surprise. She is one of the only people left on this show that I can tolerate longer that five minutes. Ian's condition is set to get worse and the new heart valve will be involved in his "life saving surgery". No hints as to whether the damn valve even works. Aidan is going to break into Ryan's place to do Annie's evil bidding. I wish someone would just off her and get it over with. The character was strong and independent when she came to Pine Valley and the result, for me, is a character that has no worthwhile qualities that make me ever want to watch her again. I am getting off track. Opal will catch Aidan in the act. Due to Adam being an #1 a-hole, as usual, Zach will threaten to kill him. This leads me to one conclusion: When Adam gets offed, Zach will be the main suspect. Which actually means very little in soap land, as we all know.
OLTL: Matthew will walk again. Destiny and Matthew will both be bumming out because they are dateless for the prom. This is an obvious set up for them to go together. I don't care, however, because I will be concentrating on the Long Island Lola as she pulls some Carrie-esque sh*t out of her evil little hat. No word on how she will do it, or what the outcome will be. After the prom, Lola will go to Dorian and Ray and confess all. A little birdy told me that Dorian and Viki will be phased out of the show and will soon settle into more "supportive" scenes. In laymans terms that means back burner. I hear that a new leading man isn't working for the PTB. My guess? Brody. Mark Lawson's acting skills are questionable. Yes, he is delicious to look at from afar. However, when they zoom into his face, I seriously have to turn away. I thought it was just the lighting or something. But then, I saw some pictures of him in Soap Opera Digest that confirmed my hes-so-ugly suspicions. Starr and Cole will discover the truth about the baby and then fork over the poor thing to that wretch Marcy and she and Michael will "take the baby and get out while they stil have a chance". Cole will consider using after the withdrawal gets worse and his Bizarro Matthew tries to convince him that it would be best if Cole just jumped off the bridge. Normally I would laugh at such a storyline spoiler, but somehow I know that Brandon Buddy will make it worth my time. Rex and Gigi will both fantasize about what it would be like to get married. Afterward, they will share a kiss but Rex will push her away. Then, in true a-hole form, he will run to Stacy's room and start kissing her in order to prove to himself that he could still get chicks, or something. I don't know but he has got to be one of the biggest idiots of all times. Stacy is going to tell Shane that Gigi slept with Brody and that she is an evil slut. This is just one of the reasons why people hate this bitch. I like her because of her unredeemable qualities. I would rather watch her sit and do nothing in an empty room for an hour than watch Marty, well, doing anything. Stacy's pimp from Vegas comes to hunt her down for some bad debt she bounced out on. I like to watch her scared so this should be interesting. John will go to see Powell at the nuthouse to question him and he will discover that Powell has escaped and that the chick that has been pretending to be Bitch-Ass-Marty will be dead in his cell. John will bend over to look at the body and Rebecca (who the hell is that?) will lock him in the cell. Um. Okay. Blair is going to sneak out of the hospital, not be released, as I previously reported. Then she will become entwined with John and Marty's crappy story along with Todd. I hope this does not allow for a decrease in the number of hot ass sex scenes that we get to see of Tea and Todd per week. Clint will propose to Nora as he becomes more suspicious that Bo is trying to steal him away. I have never invested in the character of Clint because when I look at Jerry Ver Dorn, all I see is Ross from GL. i hope Nora says no and succumbs to Bo. Christian will paint Layla. I hope it involves nudity and sex to be brutally honest. Otherwise, these two will make me seriously consider taking a nap for the duration of the show. Obviously, Powell and Rebecca are the dynamic duo and both are found to be the serial killer. Then, even more obviously, Powell will go try to kill Marty. Oh. If only....Who knows who the hell will save the bitch this time. Maybe she will kill Powell in self defense. Any rumors that you may be hearing about an Evangeline recast are this: crap. I never bought him with Evangeline and I am just getting to like the idea of Christian and Layla having sex ALL the time. Clint and Bo will get in a fight.
GH: Maxie's plan will be thwarted, just like all of her other plans, when Johnny rescues her instead of Spinelli. This will cause a light bulb to go off in Spinelli's head after which he will seriously question the voracity of his relationship with Maxie and have serious doubts about reconciling. GH is gearing up for a Lulu and Spinelli pair. I know this because my soap senses are tingling. Spixie fans everywhere will hate me for saying this but I think Spinelli should give Lulu a go. In addition, I am officially putting Maxie and Johnny on hot sex alert. Maxie will seduce Spinelli. Like all men, he cannot resist her charms but he is going to start to realize that this is how she operates and she is never going to change. Nu-old Emily and Lucky will break up after they realize that they loved the ones they weren't with. Lucky and Liz will declare their love and get back together and Nikolas and Nu-old Emily will give their coupling a chance. "The Mayor's Wife" finally has a name: Andrea
Y&R: Cassie will appear to Sharon and tell her that her baby is a little girl. Rumor has it that she will also tell Sharon who the baby's daddy is. I read that this was going to "totally turn things in a different direction". My prediction? I think Billy is going to be the father. However, this will not be the highpoint of the storyline. Chloe will become even more of a stalker than she already is and start doing crazy sh*t to the citizens of Genoa City. Sharon will accept Jack's offer to raise the baby regardless of the bio-factor. Karen will make an appearance this week. Here's hoping that she punches Neil in the face again. John will come as his usual ghostly self to Billy and prove that Jack isn't as crazy as we thought.
Side Note: Elizabeth Hendrickson and a couple of other people we love made a new mini soap entitled Eden Elizabeth Ensenade. It's pretty funny. You can check it out at http://vimeo.com/3924208.
Honorable Mentions: On B&B, Steffy will make good with Marcus. I keep hearing that Steffy and Rick are NOT over and that as a result, Marcus is going to go psycho. I have recurring dream in which Marcus goes postal and shoots Rick in the face. After Rick falls to the floor, Marcus shoots him one more time for good measure. Then I wake up.
I wish GL would have gotten "so much better" before it got cancelled. I was a life time fan until they cut down on EVERYTHING.
I want to give a shout out to Being Erica for being the little show that could.
I want to give a dumb bitch award to the girl that posted this on Twitter: "I hate daytime soaps. Why are they called soaps anyway? They don't have anything to with soaps." Oh, dumb bitch, I tend to disagree. I replied and told her to google that sh*t.
AND...
Finally: The biggest "sex is my cure for anything" award goes to both Ryan Lavery (AMC) and Nicholas Newman (Y&R). Both of them are sex crazed tools and should be considered hard and dangerous.
OMG this blog took forever to do. Until Monday or whenever...some bitch time...some bitch channel...
Friday, May 1, 2009
The Slut is Falling and Other Scandalous Spoilers 5-1-09
On today's episode of Y&R, we were treated to Katherine and Murphy's wedding which was full of amusing little surprises. First things first. The clothing was from another era. It was if Amber heard the praise I gave her, and decided to design the ugliest wedding party wardrobe I have ever had the displeasure of looking at. Chloe was trying to force everyone into believing that her marriage to Billy is a happy one. All the while, Billy and Mac were stealing very obvious clandestine looks at one another. They both looked like they lost their favorite wookie. Jack and Phyllis continue to bond over god knows what and who the hell cares. If they are talking, I am satisfied. I want them back together. Sharon and Noah (what the hell is up with that hair?!) had lunch at the club and Sharon suddenly became "light headed" and "nauseated". She went on up and peed on a stick and voila! instant baby-daddy storyline. Somebody call Maury. This ones a doozy. Jack brought Mary Jane/Mari Jo as his date to the wedding. She quickly became more interesting than the actual wedding, because people were actually taking numbers to talk to the bitch. Ashley was the most interested, even getting up the nerve to tell Mary Jane/Mari Jo to stear clear of Jackie Boy. Mary Jane/Mari Jo seemed annoyed and walked away, leaving Ashley to make this statement to Victor: "My brother is sleeping with our new P.R. Consultant." to which Victor replied: "Oh? Is he now?" Victor is the best liar on daytime t.v. Neil brought Tyra-the-bad-weave-queen as his date to the wedding, where his makeshift family was also in attendence. They posed as a family with Tyra in tow. My blood literally boiled so hot I had to take a cold shower. No mention of Karen? At all? Ugh. Everything Neil does lately makes me hate him more. Neil tried to tell Victor about his new career choice, but they were rudely interrupted. I can tell that Victor is going to see this as some type of betrayal or something. Oh well. Guess he should have thought about that. Michael had a conversation with Heather that went something like this: Michael said "Blah Blah Blah" and Heather replied "Bitch, Nag, Bitch". Suddenly, Kevin was arriving at the wedding dressed to the nines. Too bad hair and make up has enough time to put obnoxious FAKE hair on some actresses in an attempt to make them more likeable, but they can't give Kevin a damn hair cut. While the pre-wedding crap was going on, Jill was at the GCAC drowning her sorrows in what I assumed was Jack Daniels. The bartender brought her a drink and when she said that she didn't order it, he responded, of course, that it was from the "gentleman". Jill looked over to see Jeffrey standing there looking as idiotic as ever, and said this: "I can assure you that is no gentleman." Then, the pair turned into a trio when Gloria came bouncing up. They all got sloppy drunk while Jill ranted and raved and felt sorry for herself. As Katherine was walking down the aisle, Jill was drunkenly fumbling with the damn lock at the front door of the Chancellor mansion. Out of nowhere like a ghost or a bad nightmare, Nina came out from under her rock and started insulting her. Then it was all over. Today was Nick and Phyllis' wedding anniversary and in true Nick and Phyllis fashion, they had sex to solidify that their marriage really does suck.
Spoilers!: Sharon will tell Jack about the baby who will offer to raise it as his own even if it is Nick's. Billy is going to overhear the two of them talking about it and offer to step up in the event that the baby turns out to be his problem. Sharon will consider not keeping the baby. Phyllis and Nicholas are trying to work on their marriage so Sharon doesn't tell him. Paul will propose to Nikki. Victor will try to make peace with her, finally. Ashley and Gloria are going to get in a screaming match which will cause Ashley to be hospitalized. And this is the funniest thing of all: Daniel will become a confidential informant. Ode to Daniel: Snitches, are bitches, who end up in ditches. Jill will be tied up, gagged, and stuffed in the closet so she can't interrupt the wedding. Billy will kiss Mac, who will bitch slap him in return. Stalker Chloe will come out from behind the shadows...
On B&B, Stephanie told Pam to keep the whole "typo" thing under wraps. Pam agreed. Stepanie then went straight over to Brooke's to torture her for the remaining 16 minutes of the show. Thorne had more than one line today as he discussed typos with Pam. Now, Windsor Harmon might be able to afford to get his Benz back from the repo man. Ridge was on today, but for the life of me I can't remember if he said anything worth hearing.
Spoilers!:Jackie will promote Owen, surprising everyone. Owen will have a date with Jackie and after they get it on, Bridget will come over for dinner and think that he set it all up for her. Brooke and Nick will fight over Katie and Bridget as she tries to force him into making a choice. Nick and Bridget will kiss.
OLTL broke bad on some humor as the show opened with Nora and Bo on some kind of parental stakeout. Just as they were leaning in for some poli-grip pleasure, Marcy's stupid ass came out of nowhere and yelled at them, thinking that they were students making out in the parking lot. The nut house that houses Powell called Viki today to tell her about Kevin and Jessica visiting. Cole had a series of really freaky drug induced hallucinations. The freakiest happened at the end of the show when "Matthew" stood up out of his wheelchair and told Cole that he deserved to be in the chair his damn self. Starr was trying to talk Cole down on the phone. Todd, thinking it was Schyler on the other end, snatched the phone and told him that Starr didn't need no drug addicts in his life and that if he didn't leave Starr alone, Todd was going to hurt him worse than the last time. Tea convinced Todd to be a little more sensitive, which prompted Starr to tell him that Cole was going to die if she didn't help him. Brody and Jessica discussed their budding romance today and Brody, in true idiotic fashion, said that he loved making love with her. Again. Say it once and I listen, shame on you. Say it twice and I continue to listen, shame on me.
Spoilers!: Blair will be on a mission to whip Todd's ass over the custody issue, so she will be leaving the hospital. Hopefully she will go find Marty while she is in an ass whippin mood. Cole's condition is going to get worse. Damn! The guy who sponges Brandon Buddy's face to make it look like he is sweating is already working overtime! Starr and Cole are going to get dirt on what happened to their baby, and Jessica will start to sense that something is up as well. So will Kyle, apparently, because he is going to blackmail Natalie and Jared. Rex will reject Gigi's advances. Hmmm. I wonder why. Rex and Brody will fight. What is Brody going to say? "I want to make fists with you, Rex." Shane decides if his parents aren't going to be together then he wants to live with Rex. The Pussy Cat Dolls will perform at the prom. Oh joy. A pussy party. Rachel will get a love interest. Good. Maybe she'll stop bitching.
In Port Charles today, Maxie hired a guy to pretend to stalk her so she can get Spinelli's attention. Her plan backfired when she was actually kidnapped for real. She copped an attitude with the real kidnapper, which made me almost blow iced coffee out of my mouth and nose simultaneously. Much was said on today's eppy that flew right over my head because it required no actual thinking to process. However, I did catch some pretty classic lines:
1. Lucky and Rebecca walked into the bar at the end of yesterday's eppy and watched in horror as Liz and Nik made out. Today's eppy started with them still standing there in the dooryway of the bar still looking horrified. Lucky ran out and was quickly followed by nu-old Emily who proceeded to say this: "Did you see that?"
2. Nu-old Emily and Lucky are laying in the bed pre-sexin and she says this: "I'm and open book."
3. Jax goes over to Sonny's to convince Claudia to get Sonny to back off of Carly. Claudia sticks up for Sonny, who ignores her and says this: "Tell Sonny to worry about his own pregnant wife and stop worrying about mine."
Well said. The best flipping part of the show was when Jason was standing on the sidewalk for no apparent reason, when, from somewhere up above Sam yelled "Hey Jason! Catch!" and dropped from the sky in her skivvies. Jason caught her. Then she said "We gotta get out of here, fast!" I laughed my ass off when, instead of putting Sam down and letting her run on her own, Stone Cold just started running with the panty clad Sam in his arms. Hilarious.
Spoilers!: Nu-old Emily will confess something to Nikolas. Claudia thinks she will lose the baby. Ethan may be pulling a con on Luke. Nu-Emily gets stuck at Wyndemere and it will slime her way closer to Nikolas. Michael will have surgery and magically wake up. Patrick, Matt, and Liz will do the surgery. Martha Byrne is coming as the Mayor's wife. I will be calling her old-Lily for those of you haven't guessed. Claudia will redecorate Sonny's place finally. So, Sarah Brown, whatcha going to talk about now? Jason and Sam will get closer.
Wishful Coupling: MAXON- What you get when you mix Stone Cold with Maximista....Oh. I can soooo dig it.
Finally. I am done. More on AMC when I have more...until then...some bitch time....some bitch channel.....
Spoilers!: Sharon will tell Jack about the baby who will offer to raise it as his own even if it is Nick's. Billy is going to overhear the two of them talking about it and offer to step up in the event that the baby turns out to be his problem. Sharon will consider not keeping the baby. Phyllis and Nicholas are trying to work on their marriage so Sharon doesn't tell him. Paul will propose to Nikki. Victor will try to make peace with her, finally. Ashley and Gloria are going to get in a screaming match which will cause Ashley to be hospitalized. And this is the funniest thing of all: Daniel will become a confidential informant. Ode to Daniel: Snitches, are bitches, who end up in ditches. Jill will be tied up, gagged, and stuffed in the closet so she can't interrupt the wedding. Billy will kiss Mac, who will bitch slap him in return. Stalker Chloe will come out from behind the shadows...
On B&B, Stephanie told Pam to keep the whole "typo" thing under wraps. Pam agreed. Stepanie then went straight over to Brooke's to torture her for the remaining 16 minutes of the show. Thorne had more than one line today as he discussed typos with Pam. Now, Windsor Harmon might be able to afford to get his Benz back from the repo man. Ridge was on today, but for the life of me I can't remember if he said anything worth hearing.
Spoilers!:Jackie will promote Owen, surprising everyone. Owen will have a date with Jackie and after they get it on, Bridget will come over for dinner and think that he set it all up for her. Brooke and Nick will fight over Katie and Bridget as she tries to force him into making a choice. Nick and Bridget will kiss.
OLTL broke bad on some humor as the show opened with Nora and Bo on some kind of parental stakeout. Just as they were leaning in for some poli-grip pleasure, Marcy's stupid ass came out of nowhere and yelled at them, thinking that they were students making out in the parking lot. The nut house that houses Powell called Viki today to tell her about Kevin and Jessica visiting. Cole had a series of really freaky drug induced hallucinations. The freakiest happened at the end of the show when "Matthew" stood up out of his wheelchair and told Cole that he deserved to be in the chair his damn self. Starr was trying to talk Cole down on the phone. Todd, thinking it was Schyler on the other end, snatched the phone and told him that Starr didn't need no drug addicts in his life and that if he didn't leave Starr alone, Todd was going to hurt him worse than the last time. Tea convinced Todd to be a little more sensitive, which prompted Starr to tell him that Cole was going to die if she didn't help him. Brody and Jessica discussed their budding romance today and Brody, in true idiotic fashion, said that he loved making love with her. Again. Say it once and I listen, shame on you. Say it twice and I continue to listen, shame on me.
Spoilers!: Blair will be on a mission to whip Todd's ass over the custody issue, so she will be leaving the hospital. Hopefully she will go find Marty while she is in an ass whippin mood. Cole's condition is going to get worse. Damn! The guy who sponges Brandon Buddy's face to make it look like he is sweating is already working overtime! Starr and Cole are going to get dirt on what happened to their baby, and Jessica will start to sense that something is up as well. So will Kyle, apparently, because he is going to blackmail Natalie and Jared. Rex will reject Gigi's advances. Hmmm. I wonder why. Rex and Brody will fight. What is Brody going to say? "I want to make fists with you, Rex." Shane decides if his parents aren't going to be together then he wants to live with Rex. The Pussy Cat Dolls will perform at the prom. Oh joy. A pussy party. Rachel will get a love interest. Good. Maybe she'll stop bitching.
In Port Charles today, Maxie hired a guy to pretend to stalk her so she can get Spinelli's attention. Her plan backfired when she was actually kidnapped for real. She copped an attitude with the real kidnapper, which made me almost blow iced coffee out of my mouth and nose simultaneously. Much was said on today's eppy that flew right over my head because it required no actual thinking to process. However, I did catch some pretty classic lines:
1. Lucky and Rebecca walked into the bar at the end of yesterday's eppy and watched in horror as Liz and Nik made out. Today's eppy started with them still standing there in the dooryway of the bar still looking horrified. Lucky ran out and was quickly followed by nu-old Emily who proceeded to say this: "Did you see that?"
2. Nu-old Emily and Lucky are laying in the bed pre-sexin and she says this: "I'm and open book."
3. Jax goes over to Sonny's to convince Claudia to get Sonny to back off of Carly. Claudia sticks up for Sonny, who ignores her and says this: "Tell Sonny to worry about his own pregnant wife and stop worrying about mine."
Well said. The best flipping part of the show was when Jason was standing on the sidewalk for no apparent reason, when, from somewhere up above Sam yelled "Hey Jason! Catch!" and dropped from the sky in her skivvies. Jason caught her. Then she said "We gotta get out of here, fast!" I laughed my ass off when, instead of putting Sam down and letting her run on her own, Stone Cold just started running with the panty clad Sam in his arms. Hilarious.
Spoilers!: Nu-old Emily will confess something to Nikolas. Claudia thinks she will lose the baby. Ethan may be pulling a con on Luke. Nu-Emily gets stuck at Wyndemere and it will slime her way closer to Nikolas. Michael will have surgery and magically wake up. Patrick, Matt, and Liz will do the surgery. Martha Byrne is coming as the Mayor's wife. I will be calling her old-Lily for those of you haven't guessed. Claudia will redecorate Sonny's place finally. So, Sarah Brown, whatcha going to talk about now? Jason and Sam will get closer.
Wishful Coupling: MAXON- What you get when you mix Stone Cold with Maximista....Oh. I can soooo dig it.
Finally. I am done. More on AMC when I have more...until then...some bitch time....some bitch channel.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
