She is Mary Jane Benson no more! 7-2-09

Today's Y&R started off with Nina still upset from yesterday. As she contemplated the day away, Lily strolled up. Lily wanted to apologize to Niner for being such a bitch. There was bonding, followed by a little foreshadowing and then it was all over when Niner's phone rang and the DNA test results were in. Lily went with Nina so she could nab her own copy of the results. That's the smartest thing I have seen her do in a long time! Everyone gathered for the revealing over at Katherine's while Lily confronted Cane during his private convo with Jill, with the unopened results. Everyone opened the results all at once and of course, the results revealed that Cane was a Chancellor after all. Thank God for that frozen blood, right? Later, Katherine and Kay argued about Cane and being not related and blah blah blah and more gushy talk between Cane the Liar and Lily the Niave. Murphy, Katherine, Niner opened the results and was pissed. I had to leave the room because I knew I would have to listen to her bitch and moan for the next 20 minutes.

Patty Williams had a series of dreams about a little Jack, a wedding dress with a jacked up veil, and Victor coming to save the day. After getting her ass out of bed and dressed, Patty ran into Jack and told him she could really use a friend. Jack the Booty Bandit jumped right over Patty and over to Sharon the Shit Face. Patty had some more deep memories of the reason she came back to GC in the first place. She ran to her room at the GCAC and yet some dreaming, some knocked on the door and Patty thought it was Jack. Riiight. It was Paul being nosy, as usual. She told him to leave, he tried to push for answers, she abruptly ended the convo. Paul was gone. Patty played with her kitty, was drinkin and pill poppin, and boo bleeping hooing all at the same time.

All of the Newman clan were at the hospital again today with Summer. Phick bonded. Nikki and Victor bonded. It was all well and good until Heather's bitch ass showed up accusing Phyllis of having munchousin (sp?) syndrome. For those who do not know what this means, it is a word used to describe a mother who hurts her children on purpose to draw attention to the mother herself. Nick was crying in the Chapel at the hospital and Victor showed up. Nick continued to cry, and Victor never really gave him the support that he wanted or needed. 2 seconds after the Moustache left, the Vein entered. I'll be damned if within 2 seconds of their convo, I was literally balling my eyes out. Good stuff people. While all this man drama was going on, Sharon was smiling at Noah and lying at him all at the same time. Damn, she is SO good at that! Noah went right to the hospital and told him he was worried about Sharon. Whaaa Whaaaa give the bitch a sucker to console herself with. Phyllis was not arrested, but she will be soon. It seems that for now, Nick will stand by her side. He really has no reason not to, am I wrong?

SPOILERS:

Phillip will confess all to Jill and Katherine that the accident that caused his "accident" was staged.

Chloe will tell Billy the truth about Cane's identity and we will be privy to more some hot bro on bro action in the violent sense, of course. At least I know Billy will jack Cane in the face. Um. Is Cane even his real fucking name?

Kay will crumble to the floor over all the Cane crap.

Lily will dump Cane on his ass, as he deserves.

Jack will do something and discover that the maybe-baby's daddy is really Nick! Will he keep it to himself? I have a feeling he is going to be up to his neck in Patty puddles by then.

Paul and Nikki will start to have some serious relationship problems. Bummer. Ray Charles could have seen that coming!

Colleen is returning. No, she didn't go find a permanent rock to hide behind.

B&B:

Stephanie showed up at Brooke's for whatever the hell reason and ended up feeling more sorry for Brooke than anything or anyone else. The two ladies formed yet another temp. friendship over the over the pill poppin Ridge and Dr. Lips.

Nick ordered some breakfast 2 feet away from where Jackie and Owen were making out like two disgusting teenagers. Bridget came in and sidetracked a grumpy Nick who was bitching about everything anyway. Owen really pissed off today. 1. He actually called Jackie a cougar. 2. He continued to bug her about marrying him through the whole episode. 3. He was just plain annoying and schemey!

Ridge was confronted by Dr. Lips and his two remaining Dr. Lips children pressured him to move in. Looked to me like it was the last damn thing he wanted to do.

Nidget had some more honeymoon sex today. Blah. I was neither intrigued or turned on in anyway. Watching the Saggy Sailor swallow little Bridget whole everytime they shag.

Thats all I have for today. Check for spoilers tomorrow, I am sure will be updated on all the deets. How sure? Um, about 92%!