A Glorious Day in Soap Land 7-3-09

Nikki and Victor waited outside of Summer's hospital room, which they were not allowed to into. Michael told them what was up with Summer's custody hearing. Victor told Michael what he aways does in these situations: "I don't give a damn! Get it done!" The room was guarded by armed dudes and Nikki and Victor struggled while waiting for Michael to come back. When he did come back, he announced that Nikki and Victor now had custody of Summer. Wonder what Ashley is going to think about that?

The art story and Agent Aucker both suck. Amber must think the same exact thing because she went off on him. The FBI executed more search warrants on Kevin, Jana, Daniel, Amber, and Crimson Lights. Aucker finally allows Daniel to take a lie detector test. Kevin, Amber, and Jana were happy. Daniel was a frowny face emoticon.

Mac and Billy were stealing a moment alone at the Chancellor bbq, but the couple were forced to act like they were fighting when Chloe came barging in. After chasing off Mac, Chloe and Billy bit each other in the ass and went their separate ways. Both ended up in a coversation held by Cane wh0 was talking about how much he loves everyone. The love fest continued with arrival of Pearl the Diner Girl and Katherine was so overjoyed. Jill was overjoyed at Cane's latest DNA results and wanted others to be as well by saying "That Nina can go back to Hollyweird where she belongs". During that same exact conversation, Chloe announced that Cane was the best uncle in the world. Later, Mac and Billy took off to do some diagonal dirty dancing.

All of this led up to what we have been waiting for months to see. Katherine and Pearl were talking about Jill and Kay said this: "Don't worry, I have been taking knives out of my back for years". Murphy and Billy bonded. Hope that lasts. Cane took it upon himself to canoodle with Lily, discussing how their perfect love and baby making will continue. Paul and Nina showed and they wanted answers from Cane on the spot. The Cane crusade is now over, partly anyway. Jill and Katherine demanded answers and Lily was tapping her toe, so Cane admitted he was a fraud after all. This was after Lily to told Nina to shut up, and after Jill called Nina a lying bitch!
Nina called Cane a lying bastard, and suddenly, all were shocked when the real Phillip III walked out onto the Patio like he died yesterday. Oh hell.

SPOILERS:

Victor will catch Mary Jane lurking around the hospital for obvious reasons. Mary Jane will continue losing control of all of her lies and scheming. Victor will break into her room one more time and find her hate and revenge shrine. He will order her to leave town, but we all know that she isn't going without a fight!

Katherine will have another stroke as a result of the Cane/Langley debacles.

Adam and Mary Jane will form a freaky alliance. Hmmm. The possibilities!

Victor will ask Ashley to marry him again. Bet that will have its own repercussions.

Colleen has gotten herself into trouble. Sounds like she may be pregnant. Blah.

Lily will be diagnosed with ovarian cancer next week!

Rumors:

Deacon is returning, and the rumor is, he will turn out to be Daniel's long lost brother.

The death rumor keeps swirling and it has been confirmed that the upcoming death will not be Summer or Nikki. Could it be Eden? Or the maybe-baby? The rumor is that whoever it is, the person is closely connected to Noah.

B&B:

Today's episode started with Brooke reminiscing about Ridge and Ridge reminscing about Brooke. Ridge was staring sadly at a picture of Brooke. I was suprised when he returned it to its place on the shelf and did not throw it in the trash.

Jackie finally agreed to be Mrs. Owen and the couple got married in the flower ring or whatever. Bridget figured everything out and told Nick. Nick arrived to see the newlyweds ride off into the sunset on a yellow dune buggy.

Stephanie had a heart to heart with Ridge and encouraged him to move in with Dr. Lips and his 2 kids from hell. Then Stephanie ran over to Brooke's again and broke it down for Brooke. It is finally and truely over, Brooke and Ridge are NOT meant to be, and basically, get the hell over it! It all made sense to me.

SPOILERS:

There are none. Sorry. I tried. I failed. Hit me up and let me know what you think about any of the bs listed above!